NorthernSkies or NS - Janet (Page 5 of 9)

@Janet: Nay... you're still ahead of me in reviews. I've just been buried with work (boo! hiss!) and can't read as much as I'd like

B1 CH20 - on it like a bad rash once my chapter is up (not tonight, though, it's me and the American tax system at the moment - I'll tell you about all the fun I'm having, but I'm trying to stop swearing).

You say this as if it's a bad thing!

I feel your pain! Work always interferes

I'm so going to try and keep up this time!

It will help heaps if you could write slower?! <---- just kidding of course!

And you wonder why we want to rip up the income tax system?  I'm not sure it's a comfort, but it's ten times worse for businesses, who often have to pay tax on money they haven't received.

Ever wonder why game shows that give away merchandise always give some cash with the jackpot prizes?  It's because the IRS has to be paid, and that 'spending money for your trip!' is there so you'll be able to pay it and collect your prizes.

Elisheva, consider deferring retrofits until your next whole draft. I tried going back to keep the beginning of my story up to date but found it impossible the further along I got in the book. The way I do it now is to treat all future chapters as if the change had been made. I then add a chapter note that an important continuity change has been made and describe it briefly. For example, Caligula's secret scheme will require changes across numerous early chapters. I've also made changes that I subsequently refined or even punted without having to go back and fix the whole book.

-twitch, twitch-

Eek! Well, in that case, I still need to reorganize it so I know where things are supposed to be. So close to the weekend... so close...

Sometimes the change is so big though that it's just better to start over. Yep, that's me. But so we learn and hopefully don't repeat the same mistakes.

We're setting ourselves up to ensure that when we leave, we'll be cutting all ties. No property, no 401k, no investments, no anything.

I have no idea why anyone would start a business in the US to be honest. The booklet explaining personal income tax is almost 1000 pages, so I can't imagine what the business version looks like. This is batshit nuts.

I think I mentioned before, but DO NOT forget to file FBAR/FATCA forms by the end of the month.Nasty nasty nasty forms.

Batshit is sane and rational compared to the US tax code.

Next chapter is up! This weekend it's going to be me and catching up with all the reviews I owe everyone.

Second 4th of July. So far a few odd instances where people are just shooting fireworks for the hell of it, but last year was more look and see. I'm not sure we'll be going to any celebrations this year, but it would be a good experience. I'm 5 miles south of the Canadian border, so still on US soil! No Canada.

Peter's belief in his moral superiority as a leader and a Lord is contradicted by events.  Matthew has earned loyalty.  We see him earn the loyalty of Anthony (and it would be good to see Anthony risk his life for Matthew after that humiliation) as well as the loyalty of the common boy he interrogated, then took in.

Peter, on the other hand, cannot earn loyalty and fails when he tries to buy it.  He destroys his tools.  Even if Peter does not consciously recognize the contradiction between his jealous assessment of Matthew's character and the Matthew he is fighting, his inability to fight on level ground with Matthew must rankle at every turn--and he must be evading and hiding from the measures of character.

I think if you keep this in mind, you won't need to add any additional seasoning.  Jealously becomes the deadly sin of Envy, and that progresses to raging, irrational anger.  Just let us see that, in microcosm, and let us see how Peter uses the Anger to defend against the truth.

If you can't have Anthony strike the killing blow, can you show Isaac (is that the name) risking his life in loyalty, and, injured, still showing more concern for Matthew?

Death by sepsis for Peter would open the door for more character moments between your other characters.  It would let him rage a bit in nominally lucid moments.  And, in the end, he might slink away to die, to 'escape', leaving Matthew to drive away the animals feeding on him, in order to give him a decent burial. (Driving an animal from its meal can sometimes only be done by killing it.)