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Completed reviews of first two chapters of Randy's Dangerous Alliance. I'd come to the end of posted chapters for the drug cartel story so I switched to this one.

just posted reviews for four more chapters of Cobber's novel.

I finished reading all of njc's book one, and made a crack at reviewing chapter one of book two.

just posted reviews of chapters 15 and 16 of CJ's story.

Just posted reviews of chapters 15-17 of Matthew's Krudges book 1.

submitted reviews of two chapters of Stephanie's novel this morning. I've skipped over njc because he appears to want us to focus on book 2 of his epic. I don't want to try to review it until I finish reading book 1. So no reviews of book 2 until I get through book 1. Sorry about that but I am just not good at jumping in in the middle. I need to know how the story is working.

posted over last two days reviews of chapters 13-15 of Jube's fantasy novel

Hi, I am way behind on responding to reviewers, but when I saw the message above  this one, i thought I should respond to this one before I get back to all my accumulated reviews.
I don't know about telling vs showing, but in this chapter and elsewhere, I should probably be taking a less passive approach. Here relating the 911 call is an obvious way to build the drama.
Here is my attempt to do what I think CJ is suggesting. First rough try.

Noise emanating from the wooded area to the west of Beaufort Avenue interrupted Tony’s return to Dal on the cold, clear, fall evening. He stumbled across the uneven, dimly-lit ground between sidewalk and forest to investigate what sounded like a large animal crashing about in the undergrowth.
His first thought was a bear, but he was sure no bears lived in this patch of urban forest. There were undoubtedly deer and raccoons, and quite possibly foxes, but no bears. As he peered into the undergrowth, a girl of twelve or thirteen wearing nothing but a short sleeveless dress stumbled out of the woods and collapsed face down on the grass a few metres away. It was far too cold for anyone to be outside barefoot wearing such a flimsy dress.
Tony tore off his jacket as he rushed to her side. He wrapped the coat around her shoulders and rolled her over so he could zip it up. At that moment he realized her dress was so badly torn that it exposed one of her barely developing breasts and blood gushed from a wound in the area between her legs. He fumbled in his pocket for his phone.
“Are you okay? Can you talk to me?’ he asked as he waited for his phone to power up. She stared at him for a few seconds before turning her head and focusing on the woods.
The phone came to life. He punched in nine-one-one and waited again. “Please, talk to me,” he implored, but she did not respond.
“Is this nine-one-one… We need an ambulance. A girl, bleeding badly stumbled out of the woods… where? On the west side of Beaufort Avenue… Crossroad? Not sure, don’t know the area. Only a hundred metres or so north of Marlborough Woods. She’s really bleeding badly… What should I do?”
Tony looked from his phone to the girl as the nine-one-one operator relayed her instructions. “We have to try to stop the bleeding.”
He dropped the phone on the ground and bunched the light-weight polar fleece jacket he’d been wearing under his outer jacket along with the remnants of her dress between her legs. He took her hands and placed them on top of the bundle. “Squeeze your legs together and use your hands to hold everything in place. Can you do that?”
She nodded without saying anything but did try to hold her knees together and press with her hands. Her eyes, however, remained focused on the woods.

Just posted reviews of  chapters 13 &14 of Matthews Krudges Book 1

As usual, I am lost. I've been trying to work my way through a complete cycle of reviews (7, now 8 reviews although Stephanie seems to be lost in some sort of fantasy timewarp) in 21 days. I invariably fail but am managing to get one cycle done (even with the recent suggestion to review several chapters of those who write short chapters) per month sometimes. That is now my goal - one cycle per month. But if you are suggesting one review per 21 days? That's bloody ridiculous, it would be six months before I got back to the same novel. And what's all this about thanksgiving, that was back in October.
cheers

Hi, just posted review of chapter 3 of Suin's story.  did it on Halloween, seems appropriate.

Posted a review of Jube's chapter ten last night.