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Oh, dear. Well Jube, your comments on these forum posts are often long, but I this one might win a prize. But I've struggled through it and I must say I agree with your main point (the one you put in caps). The story lacks a villain (at least a character who represents the villain). As you say the villain is a concept - the idea that humanity has actively or inadvertently put too much stress on the environment, causing all sorts of issues like the wildfires currently plaguing the westernmost US states. I could come up with dozens of other examples and some observers think we risk triggering an event that will dwarf events like recent floods, wildfires, etc. I don't think that's likely over coming decades, maybe even centuries, but I ask the question - why take the risk? Why not reduce the risks by reducing the quantities of greenhouse gases we pump into the atmosphere? Technically, we know how to do it without breaking the bank, but our political and industrial structures make it impossible. So we are stuck with wildfires and maybe the sword of Damocles hanging over our heads.
So, if I try to write a story that develops this philosophy, I can have heroes who investigate the environmental principles and clamour for political action that might mitigate the harmful effects of carbon emissions, but the villain is nebulous - political and economic systems that cannot or will not respond. You are undoubtedly correct, I would have a better story if I managed to invent a villain who represents the reluctance or refusal or sheer pigheadedness that would personify the inability or unwillingness of our political system to respond.
I've thought about that a lot and failed to come up with a villain I found believable. I have tried, including six major restarts and in all these efforts all I've managed to do is generate stories that have more drama than my initial attempt and more conflicts between characters, but never the monumental conflict between a hero and a villain.
So, (there I go again, starting with So) I have a problem. I'm not a story teller or a novelist, I probably never will be. I'm a frustrated environmental scientist playing in his dotage with writing a story - a precautionary tale about the potential hazards of ignoring global scale disruption of the environment. I've been unable to throw off my scientist hat and don a novelist one, and develop a compelling, but to my scientist brain, unbelievable villain. I fear it leaves me with trying again with version 7 of this tale but not until I conjure up a way to tell it with a concept as the villain, or I can find a villain I can buy into. it reminds me of Les Miserables and I did read that whole damn book even all the boring digressions on all sorts of irrelevant topics. I could never buy the story because, while I could accept the hero Valjean popping up in various guises all around the country, I could not accept the idea that the cop Javert popping up in all the same places at just the right time. And anyway, the real villain is the French political and economic system, not a stupid cop. See, I'm hopeless as a novelist - I don't accept the monumental lifelong battle between Valjean and Javert - jeesh, what a philistine am I.
The other thing you suggest in your comments is that I ignore your comments for this novel and try to apply the principles you describe in my next one. I'm not comfortable with that suggestion because I don't want to abandon this damn book I've been working on for years, and I'm not sure I'll ever write another one, at least not one with the sorts of HEROES and VILLAINS you describe above. Maybe I'll go back to my mystery stories, they seemed easier.
Finally, I think I should say thank you for trying to read, understand, analyze and comment on my Environmental Armageddon story. I don't think, in retrospect, I ever had it well enough constrained to make it a good candidate for your alpha to omega review group. I fear that has made it an intractable task for you and others.

Hello Randall, Jube (and others if they join the discussion). Randall asks a good question. I haven't been a very active member of the site for some time as I've struggled with refocusing and resurrecting my big climate change project. It was much easier when I was trying to write simple mystery novels. I could chug along posting new chapters every few weeks (not as fast or as prolific as Randall, but fast enough to fit into a reviewing pattern with other members). Progress on my climate change project has been too sporadic and my dedication to reviewing has also spluttered. So I have not been a good member of this group.
I joined when invited because I had great sympathy for Jube's basic premise - one gets a number of reviews of early chapters of a book, but very few for later ones - and his efforts to develop a group that would try to remedy that problem. I found it difficult to do my part in the chosen process (back when I was trying more conscientiously to fulfill my obligations) for two reasons. First, the pace of posting -  some (e.g. Randall) very prolific, others much less so, made it difficult to set up a routine. Second, I found it very difficult to provide insightful reviews for all the fantasy novels.
Those are my feeble excuses. In response to Randall's 'Is the group dead?' question, I would say I hope not because I see the same need for the group as when Jube invited me to join. But do we have a core group (or could we generate a new core group) that could press the big red reset button and reinvigorate this group with or without some discussion of the structure?
Final comment, I think the quality of reviews I've received from members of this group is more consistent and better than the quality of reviews I've received from the general tNBW review pool.

Or you could read Salinger or Kerouac, my favourite Lowry, or others from that era. It was a great time for American (and some Canadian) literature.

Hello all, First congratulations to Suin for being chosen as one of the finalists in the big contest. Second, my apologies for abandoning this subgroup for too long. I've been wandering in the wilderness wondering about the comments I've received on my Souring Seas story. There's a common theme to the comments, some stated more explicitly than others, that suggest my approach to this book won't work. I will not succeed at making a compelling story that follows a young scientists struggles to develop the scientific basis for climate change action. Reviewers are suggesting I need dramatic action that will draw in readers, but I don't think I can do that with a story set in recent past to present and keep the science credible.
I need a different approach that starts a few years into the future where I can add some dramatic events that don't contradict what I know to be the reality of our present situation.
So, I think I need to start over again with a story that begins some time in few years into the future.  I could rejig the current story, starting a few years form now. That would allow me to add more speculative elements without contradicting known science or events, but I will be stuck with reality that acidification won't become critical for a century. Or I could start posting chapters of what I will call Souring Seas part 2. It will take up the story a few years in the future when I can introduce events that will bring forward the time when acidification rears it ugly head. That might allow me to keep my current story and come back to it and make it a sort of prequel to the new, hopefully be more exciting, one. Maybe if I suck people in with a more dramatic science fiction climate change distopia story, they will be willing to go back and read the boring science based one.
That's what I'm thinking. I will start working on one of those two approaches, but not continue posting new chapters in the current one. In the meantime, I promise to get back to doing reviews.

What about gravitational bending of light, would that count as refraction?

Just posted review of njc's book 2 chapter 10.  Also posted a review of one of Suin's chapters a couple of weeks ago, but I think I forgot to submit notice in this thread.

Congratulations, Don. When reviewing, I found the fantasy and werewolves theme hard to deal with, but maybe if I just tried to read it... I'll experiment with the ebook on Amazon.
cheers

Hi I'm back again with an update. I now have the paperback version of A Body in the Sacristy on Amazon.com.  Createspace said the proof would take 14 days to arrive. It got here in 4, so I am about ten days ahead of my anticipated schedule. I can now relax and get back to reviewing and posting new chapters of my more recent efforts.
Thanks everyone for all the help I've received from people on this site. Couldn't have done it without you.

Thank you everyone for the kind words. Publishing my first book has been a rush, but it's kind of addicting. I keep going to the kdp site to check on numbers of sales. I mean, I need to stand back and let it ride and get back to doing reviews and posting new chapters of my current projects.
It has been a good experience and not as difficult as I expected. I have to thank many people on this site for helping me get to this point.
cheers

Posted review this morning of Jube's story chapter 24. Only one chapter but it was gargantuan!