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Nice looking cover - an attention grabber! I wasn't here while you were posting the book but I'm delighted you brought your project to fruition. Best of luck with it!

Just thought of this:

One I like to use is, "I thought a saw a hint of a smile. Either that or the corners of his mouth twitched upwards, almost imperceptibly, for no good reason." I vary the wording but I like the idea of a "hint of a smile".

Sherry,
I read your first chapter a little over a week ago but haven't been back. It's not a lot of desire or that I didn't enjoy your chapter - I did. Everyone who's been here for a while is aware that I'm married to a wonderful but significantly disabled wife who requires a lot of help and attention and more doctors' visits than any human should have to endure. That takes a lot of my time. Also, I'm a professional songwriter and I have hard deadlines I must meet if I want to get paid. So, those two issues are my priority. I mostly do music for commercials, movie soundtracks and documentaries, so time is very important for all that.

I've been here since 2008 and and the site has been more valuable to me than I could ever express in words. Gacela's suggestions are spot on. And others, such as Ann Everett and Marilyn Johnson offered a little insight as to why the number of reviews can vary quite a bit. I typically review in spurts, usually between midnight and 4:00 am.

And some folks just don't read certain genres. I rarely read YA, Science Fiction, Horror, Dystopian, and a few others. Give me a good Action-Thriller, a Mystery or (my favorite) some really good humor. Heck, I 'll even read a Romance novel if it's more than mush & gush. Ann Everett writes romance but I read as much of her work as I can because she's so danged good at it .But I occasionally step out of the box and check out other genres just from curiosity.

From the chapter I read, I think you have excellent basics for your writing and, like most of the rest of us, the input from our reviewers hone those basic skills. I hope you hang around and make our site that much better. I'll be over again real soon. I make a list of folks i want to read when I have the opportunity and cycle through that list. I read new authors once or twice a week if I can. That's how I ran across you!

Anyway, keep writing and I'll keep reading as often as I can. JK Rowling was turned down by over a dozen publishers for her Harry Potter series before landing a deal - that worked out pretty good!. Best to you,

Alan

Mike,

As you know, I'm a professional songwriter and one of my novel series is humor, so either of those would work for me!

Awwwwe! I feel special now! I sure do miss her. And thank you for contacting her. I sure di miss her ... she's so full of sh ... er, I mean wit! I'm looking forward to hearing from her. She's a sweetie ... like you!

So, you like that title, eh? It's the perfect title for the story! Sometimes ya just gotta get creative!

Big hugs, my friend.

Alan

Corra,

I am totally embarrassed! yes, I should have included your name. We had many, many exchanges, both on and off the site. if you recall, I had a dear friend who lived near you. He passed away three years ago. The sheer embarrassment od that omission is punishing enough; yet you may feel free to pummel me at will with every wet noodle at your disposal. I'm truly sorry!

Alan

If you rip my writing to shreds, I'll get my feathers ruffled for a short while but I'll get over it pretty quickly. I put my work out there and ask for your honest opinion - slice and dice it all you want, just be respectful. I joined here in 2008 or 2009, don't remember which, and I've had but one review that really hurt. I don't recall who it was from, but I remember blocking her.

She pretty much told me she had a pet iguana with better writing skills and then called me an incompetent twit unworthy of owning a keyboard and monitor. I didn't mind the attack on my writing so much - I got over that in an hour or so. but when you attack someone personally, rather than their writing, that's where I say you've crossed the line. I might be a worthless piece of crap - or a well-regarded citizen in my hometown. But you don't know which I am, or where I function between those two extremes. We have three of our six children still surviving. But we taught all of them it's fair to attack someone's ideas, but not them, the person.

And Gacela, when I was talking about don't attack my Plan A unless you have a better Plan B, I wasn't referring to rewriting their words for them. I simply meant a reviewer should give them food for thought, such as:  P3 L6, you might want to find a better word than ######  to further ingratiate your character's feelings. But I rarely try to rewrite someone's sentences for him or her unless I know the author well and know it's okay to do so. I probably didn't explain myself well ... I sometimes do that! And I still say you have one of the prettiest names on the site! Hugs to you!

Anyway, that's how I approach reviewing and answering reviews.

And I agree that the site doesn't have the same "zing" it had before. I left the site about a year after the new site (the one we currently have) was established and came back about three months ago. The beehive of activity isn't there like it was and I get considerably fewer reviews trhan I used to, although I read and review as often as I can. But, I still see it as better than the two other sites I joined. O)n both of those sites, your work simply disappears from view after a relatively short period of time, 30 - 60 days. You had to pay your points again to make it available again again. And that same process would repeat in the same time period.

Okay back to work and some reviewing in a couple of hours.

Alan

The url for my blog site has changed. What you see in the original post above is correct.

https://www.taibakerblog.com/

Thanks to all who subscribe! The blog I posted yesterday (Monday) is how I prepare to write a novel.

Hi JP!

I don't have a problem with the "invented" words. Accepted writing styles are a lot like music and social norms... they evolve and change as society does. Look at those music and social norms. Rock & Roll ain't what it was in 1970, Country also. And our society used to be more civil in its daily discourse.

Every generation submits a new twist, a new direction and new words to fit the new need. If we didn't evolve our writing as we do almost everything else, we'd all still be writing and talking like the Colonial Americans. Some might say that's a good thing ... and maybe it is. But writing has to be in tune with the society for which it is written in order to appeal the majority of that society.

Writing is probably viewed a lot like music is:  "This crap ain't nearly as good as that stuff they were doing when I was a young man." People tend to hold onto what they grew up with - resistance to change is strong! But the world won't wait for those who are slow to adjust.

That's my take. But, thanks for the opportunity have a discussion about it!

Alan

I like your idea, Mike!

I fully agree with Marilyn. My grandfather (he died in 1966) was the smartest man I've ever known. he taugjt me one thing I've never forgotten. I've used it extensively in my personal and professional lives. And that was :  Don't complain about my Plan A if you don't have a better Plan B.

Any time I suggest a writer change something, I explain, often in detail, why I think the change is worth consideration. If I don't have a better Idea than you do about something, I'll keep my mouth shut. The one exception is when something reads awkwardly and I don't know why, I'll simply say that - "That passage just didn't read smoothly for me, but I can't put my finger on it. If the reason comes to me, I'll get back to you."

I've found that most folks who are rude and brash to others usually fall into one group - the only way they know how to feel about themselves is by belittling others. It's not always true, more often than not, I think it is.

My approach is simple:  You don't have to be nice; just don't be rude.

My thoughts.

Alan