(3) Even after all these years and the countless disappointments, it never would have occurred to Charlie that his own son would be the one to sell him out in the end.
After years of disappointments it never occurred to Charlie his son would sell him out.
Or even
It never occurred to Charlie his son would sell him out
Wordiness
thank you so much for the classes, SoIn It adds so much value to the site for me. Of all the improvements you have made, this one is the best IMO!
Hello, Lesley! Nice to see your face here again
ok, will get on that. I misunderstood
thank you, Anita. I will keep the lessons for m own personal use only. Now I have a second question. I understood we were only working with the firt five pages of our books through out the course of this class. Was I mistaken?
lol, thanks
how long will these lessons stay available after the class has ended?
This has been a super crazy week and I have fallen a week behind. I'm sorry I haven't yet posted to everyone's work yet but I'd rather be a week behind and offer a thoughtful review than rush through and be on time. WELL, actually I'd rather leave a well thought out, timely review but you know, Shh** happens in life.
Will be caught up by Thursday.
Thank you ahead of time for forgiving me and putting up with me. Won't happen again.
Pamela
Congrats, Janet. How exciting!!
Janet Twilight and 59 Shades are both shite and proof we live amongst literary idiots. How did these books do so well, I'll never ever know
I adore Steinbeck. I read Grapes of Wrath every year and every time I read it I'm stunned by his writing. He also inspires me to put down my pen because of everything his writing shows me I'm not. LOL That's actually not a joke
Congratulations!
Thank you, Anita
Dagee, I had a sheltie for 14 years before she died of cancer. She was the best dog I have ever had. A total lady. Give Bear a bit of time and he will end making a great dog.
5:00 am up, coffee, write...well, stare at screen with a too full mind to figure out what to put on said screen. Write, aka stare at screen, until first child arrives between 6:30 and 7:00. Mid-morning give a review. Naptime either give another review or edit.
are you able to take it off of here. If not am I. If I am able how would I go about doing that
haha argh, the little boxes. That's the primary reason I haven't been using inline reviews.
Open little box.
leave tiny comment.
reach middle of story.
wonder if I left a comment on this structure already.
clickety-clickety-clickety-clickety - ok no I didn't
Next paragraph - did I mention this in last chapter's inline?
[new browser window] - clickety-clickety-clickety-clickety - oh, yes I did
Hmmm, did anyone else see this aspect of paragraph 18 or is it just me?
[opening all other inline reviews] [massive clickfest]
faint from exhaustion
LOL OK, Fair enough and to each his own. I prefer it. You are funny.
clicking a little box man oh man, that's SO much easier than having to cut and paste, scrolling up and down. having to find where you left off each time It's one of the main reasons I went MIA. Too much time to review instead of writing. This way is SO much easier and I find I'm giving better more detailed reviews because I have the time. Of course, I have three reviews saved until tomorrow because I didn't have time to finish them today
Temple Wang is a wonderful and generous reviewer, coupled with her talent as a writer and she is certainly one to have in one's corner, THANK YOU SO MUCH! My book is going to be so much better because of you.
I promise to pay attention and learn so I can be a better asset for you
Pamlajj, I hated your input, wasn't very fond of you for haven given it, that is until I realized just how freaking right you were. I knew way down deep I was taking a wrong turn when deciding what section should follow the start of chapter one, but I was trying so hard to make it the strongest start ever I...well, I screwed up. Thanks for being honest about what you saw and how it made you feel! I'm completely lost as to how to advance that chapter but you were right, the reader needs to get to know Summer before they can care about her whinny bits.
I love this site and have missed you guys more than I can express.
It's nice to be home
no prob, Janet Reid. I think I finally figured out what is really being addressed which is changes to the inline with the drop down boxes. Some find those annoying. Am I correct?
one author stated he felt the changes allowed/encouraged reviewers to leave poor reviews. LOL I say those who are going to do a poor job reviewing will no matter what is set in place, just as those who will give a well thought out review will too.
I am just now making my first edits from an inline review. I pulled up two screens one with the review the other with my to be edited chapter and I have to say I LOVE THE CHANGES. It takes me half the time it used to and I no longer am left guessing which passage a reviewer is commenting on.
As someone else said, it's all subjective and each has their own preference but this girl couldn't be more happy be she the reviewer or the author
Hi Vern
Agree with what you've said, and I should've made it clear when I wrote the initial comment. I do appreciate each and every review despite the format or whether one is easier to incorporate than the other. I'll find a way to make it work if someone had gone through all that trouble. And just as a side note, I do use the in-line reviews also, but I'm more likely to use regular reviews. As you said, everyone will do it their way, and there is nothing wrong with that!
The reason for mentioning it was simply to say that the in-line reviews seem to benefit reviewers more at this stage and for it to really reach it's full potential, it should be developed for both reviewer and writer as it's relatively more time consuming to merge it with the original. But this is only my opinion and if I'm the only one, then obviously I'll suck it up as I doubt Sol is going to design the new site to my whims even though it would be awesome
I know there are a couple of writers that specifically ask that you don't use the in-line format. As yet I haven't seen any asking specifically that regular reviews should not be used. I don't think it's unreasonable for a writer to do so, because then at least you know and I don't mind. But again, that's me!
Cheers Janet
Hi, Janet. I want you to know I am not upset in the least. That being said, I have read two other folks here claim the inline review benefits the reviewer more than the author and that simply stuns me and causes me to pause and wonder if I'm understanding what is really being said.
How can ANY review benefit the person who gave their time to read and thoughtfully leave suggestions towards improvement more than the one who is receiving said input on their work?
In other words, just what does the reviewer get for their efforts? Especially what could they get that benefits them more than the author they gave input to?
I just don't get that.
I mean I've seen reviews where the min. suggestions are given within the first few graphs and then not one single comment given to the rest of the work which consist of about two-thirds then leave a general statement made to rap things up so it's clear they are only reviewing to get points to post their latest work, but selfish reviews will be given by those sorts no matter which format is followed, and even at the bare min. the author still has five or six (I forget which) suggestion towards improvement.
I have given both sorts. When I first started to review I gave overall comments because I knew so little I could only offer my view and opinions as a reader. As I grew as a writer I started to leave line by line reviews. Line by line reviews, aka in-line reviews, are the most detailed and most helpful sort of a review one can give or receive. They take a great deal of time when done properly. I fail to see how my giving an hour or more of my time to improve someone else's writing instead of my own benefits me.
Are we talking about the format when we say inline review or are we talking about the review its self? Is it the way the in-line is sat up that folks are saying benefits the reviewer more than the author?
Again, I am not upset with you or anyone I'm just wondering if I'm missing something here, so PLEASE don't take my comments personally or feel I am trying to pick a fight, because honestly and from the bottom of my heart I am not
My posting isn't quite five pages is that ok? Also, I noticed I am the only to post so far, should I have waited?
Hi, everyone. I'm Pamela Black. I write fiction and memoir. I've been writing for ten years but have slacked, aka laid down my pen, for the past four years. My goal is to find a traditional publisher, and I have never been published except for a poem published here when it won a contest. I have not finished my book in the six years I worked on it so I have never submitted.
I love Salinger. Alan Paton's Cry the Beloved Country is my favorite book. Its beautiful. I think the African authors have a very lyrical tone to their writing, and Paton's CTBC reads like poetry.
Something quirky about me...
Well, I like to go to buy theater popcorn then come home and watch B&W movies.
Just a side to Anita, my daughter was an ESL teacher at an all boys middle school In Korea for six years. She quit last year to pursue a masters in linguistics and just started an editor's job with a poetry magazine. She still lives in Korea.
Did I mention I'm a proud mama?
This is a little bit off subject, but then again, not really. There seems to be a lot of controversy about in-line and regular reviews and since the start of this site lots of controversy surrounding reviews and the point system, with many claiming drive by reviews. Perhaps a review contest of some sort offering something of value for the person giving the most helpful reviews. Not sure who should judge or how one would even go about deciding the helpfulness of reviews, but an award of any sort might give everyone reason to pause and do their best with all reviews and if the quality of reviews increased so would the value of this site.
I joined because I had joined a face-to-face writer's workshop but was too shy/scared/whatever to read aloud which was required in order to get reviewed so I thought I could post online and build my confidence so I could finally read at the face-to-face. I had to join the site in order to post my works, but would have joined either way.
