The Archangel Syndrome (Page 11 of 13)

Do they need to meet (often)? No. I think the story works well enough without forcing them together. Although, as Amy observed years ago, it was pretty much two stories most of the way. In an earlier draft on which she commented, they had no interactions in acts 1 and 3, and virtually none in act 4. That was three quarters of the book. I think the Royals Forum fixed act 1 well enough. I don't know if there's much more I can do to bring them together (electronically or otherwise) in acts 3 & 4.

Although, after Joseph and Paul escape slavery and go to the palace in search of Apollo's assistance, instead of them being shot, I could have Joseph and Apollo meet again, but I then still need Joseph and Paul (or Joseph and Catherine) to end up in "Heaven", the nickname for the prison where Joseph and company end up, so named because of it's high mortality rate.

I can't see Apollo being angry enough at Joseph to throw them into that prison, so it would have to happen after a face to face meeting. I suppose they could leave the palace, perhaps with special Imperial identification to get them all the way back to New Bethlehem. Something goes wrong, and their IDs are lost or stolen.

Of course, all this is in addition to everything else that has to happen during the chapter in which Apollo and Joseph meet, which is fine since I have plenty of room to expand my chapters in novella form.

Not much opportunity for prolonged tension between them, though.

Good point. Maybe just an electronic document, signed by the Imperator, that grants Joseph and his companion safe passage off Earth. Of course, that document could be filed on Galaxinet by the Imperial bureaucracy, along with Joseph's DNA, so that if any official entity on Earth later scans his DNA, the Imperator's order pops up.

However, the surest way to bring society to a halt, even if only briefly, is some event that takes down the bureaucracy's electronic systems, such as a massive solar flare (greater than anything ever seen in our solar system) or simple sabotage, like a virus. How many times has our society been affected by massage outages of one huge firm or another? Naturally, as often as not, the latter outages are usually the result of some simple text "config" file being edited incorrectly. :-)

Besides, this still assumes I have Apollo and Joseph meet while he's on Earth. While it has the potential to be an interesting scene, I still struggle with having continued tension between the two of them. Perhaps there could be widespread rumors that Joseph's deceased mother was assassinated by the Imperium and that Nero was assassinated by agents from New Bethlehem. That would further force Apollo's hand to attack New Bethlehem, which he refuses before being overthrown.

A more interesting scene would be if Leonardo (the crazy taxi driver) breaks Joseph out of prison (he does eventually) just as the feds realize who Joseph is and go after him, with him just barely escaping from the planet. Of course, by then, Apollo has already been overthrown, replaced by Caligula, who would definitely want to capture Joseph. It would fix one weak scene after the breakout because there is no further chase involving Leonardo, this time driving a new limo. I could add seriously modern offensive and defensive capabilities to the limo, allowing Leonardo to kick serious ass. "Stronza, engage esplodere mode!"

That's what embedded credit cards are for.   Add a few replicated copies of Galaxinet throughout the solar system (and the rest of settled space), and you're good to go. Anyplace in the galaxy you go, if they have a copy of Galaxinet, you won't be able to do much of anything until overdue bills are paid. Very basic food, clothes, shelter, and medical care might be exceptions, but your choices will be very restricted. Of course, none of this will make it into the book, and someone much smarter than me can figure out how to build banking and other services into a galactic database that only gets updated every 12 hours. Too bad the scarcity of atreidite for interstellar travel is holding up progress on that front.

Ya gotta make room for Leonardo and his taxi. Create some story around him. That guy is a good idea.

That reminds me, in addition to the Bunny Divine news broadcast, which only lasts for a few paragraphs, I could write a real short story about the killing of Mama and many other mobsters, with Kay as the protagonist/assassin.

Firestones

Requirements for the revised chapter(s):

- Joseph tells his parents everything; this is necessary, even if only in a brief flashback. His goal is to convince them Michael et al are real, to renounce the throne, and be permitted to leave to become a prophet.
- His parents commit him to the psych ward and (foolishly) give the shrinks free reign as long as they don't harm him. I was considering using just one shrink, but I need at least two for their conversation about the illegal drug, and three allows me to use the Goofus, Doofus, and Rufus joke.
- Cut Joseph off from outside help, even if the guards are a mere shouting distance away (for emergencies). Torture him psychologically (e.g., the forced nudity) and physically (e.g., the dangerous tests) to bring him as low as I can at this point in the story, including putting his life at risk (I intend to do more with the latter; might as well kill him, even though only briefly).
- Introduce Catherine, and flesh out her character (this wasn't originally my intention, but given how it worked out, I'm going to keep her).
- Give the reader more background on Archangel Syndrome. The conclusion is he has the "condition". The implication is that Apollo has it to.
- Have Joseph take steps to get himself freed from the ward. Most of this one is currently missing since he depends mostly on Catherine for the rescue. As I mentioned in my reply to your review, I'm sure I can find a way for him to trigger the MIND to raise the alarm (e.g., with something he swipes from the testing station and takes to his room for later, which could be a sharp instrument).
- Finally convince his mother that Michael et al are real and to allow him to proceed with his destiny. This was actually the main goal of the whole tri-chapter, much of the rest having been unplanned. I need to involve Michael and St. James in his rescue, though, because it further demonstrates their importance to his safety, life, and future.
- "Revenge" against the shrinks in causing them to strip at the end. He has no control over anything else that happens to them.

With some changes noted above, I think I can put more of the plot and outcome of this chapter in Joseph's hands. He can trigger his own rescue, perhaps by stabbing himself, but I can't fully eliminate him relying on others for the actual rescue since that's the role of the guards. Naturally, it's great for the shrinks (i.e., the antagonists) to have their own goals, which run counter to Joseph's.

I originally intended this tri-chapter as the end of novella one, but I now plan to end it right before the above all happens, ending instead with the two prior chapters, when Joseph and Apollo commit to their respective destinies. The only disadvantage is that neither chapter ends with a cliffhanger, although committing to their destinies is a pretty big deal in and of itself.

Better?
Dirk

Let me suggest:
Fusolite (I have a hard time leaving fusion behind)
Helio-gen (go a notch up on hydrogen) Heliogen is taken
Heliofuse
Tritarium (no long i's, long a, and emphasis on second syllable)

Preferences?

I like powerstone over the other stones. If you're going to power a starship then you need POWER.
Tritarium or powerstone? I'm prejudicially leaning toward tritarium because it sounds more technical. But if you want to lean more toward Star Trek:

"Give me more power Scotty!"
"I'm hitting the stones with all I got Captain!"

Heinlein shamelessly used "Shipstone" and then claimed it was named after his its inventor.

Gatestone, gapstone (after "bandgap"),  ion stone, joulestone, jumpstone, hsi-stone (high/ultrahigh specific impulse stone) ... ... ... drivestones, arcstones, boundstones/bondstones ... Einstones, singularity stones ...

The first miner to find one picks it up and the heat from his hand starts a reaction and it begins to glow and become intensely hot. The miner calls it a handstar. Or perhaps handnova

The engineers that work on them can be called starlords (I could only find Star-Lords on the net). Novalord has been used.