TheNextBigWriter Premium → How best to handle large Bible quotes? - Writing Craft
Out of the three? I think the second one. Not the entire verse, but not omitting it completely and just referencing it. Too many people would have to put down the book and pull out the bible to recognize which prayer it was (including myself).
Or this:
Romano’s heart pounded and he trembled. He kneeled, crossed himself, and prayed King David’s Psalm 140 for protection of the orphanage from evil. The psalm calmed him.
This one would seem more suitable imo. If you're saying he prayed Psalm 140, there is no need to go on to quote it. Ones familiar with it would know what it said and those who aren't probably really don't care or at least can dismiss it in a novel. The one above seems more like preaching than part of a novel. As a non-practicing Baptist, if I wrote about someone saying or reading The Lord's Prayer, I certainly would not write the thing out nor expect to read it from another author. If anyone who cares really wants to know the text of Psalm 140 or The Lord's prayer, I'm pretty sure they could find it in about 2 seconds on the internet. Quoting more than a few words at most is simply stuffing the story with unnecessary words. But to each their own, it is ultimately your decision. Take care. Vern
You asked, so I assume you want the unvarnished truth that is me ...
:-)
Bible quotations are copyrighted material, except for the King James Version. So if you're quoting any other version, you need permission first.
Also, a lot of readers skip quotes (myself included), feeling the 'meat' of the story is in the author's words, not someone else's.
This article discusses quoting the Bible. https://stevelaube.com/quote-the-bible-carefully/
Here's what I ended up with. A bit of a mix of everyone's advice. A full quote of Psalm 140 would put even Catholics to sleep, so I kept just the first few verses to remind a Catholic/Christian reader. I suspect I'll lose most non-Christian readers with the free chapter on Kindle (three prayers in the first scene). Obviously, the first draft is Catholic-heavy. I may scale it back eventually.
Romano’s heart pounded and he trembled. He knelt and prayed one of King David’s psalms for protection of the orphanage. “Deliver us, O Lord, from evildoers; protect us from those who are violent, who plan evil things…” The psalm’s lengthy verses calmed Romano. He finished with, “Amen.”
My thanks to everyone for their input. Any further suggestions are welcome.
The plan:
I've since decided I don't like skipping prayers that I mention explicitly such as the psalm. I'd like to include the actual prayer, but cherry pick what the priest says. He essentially speaks a "new" prayer by incorporating the most relevant parts of the psalm
Is a Christian apostasy, or let's say heterodoxy, from both the (traditional) Protestant and Roman perspective. The "cherry picking" and most "relevant" part. King Bubba Bible does the same, and KJV is not sanctioned by the RCC, so is not different than King Bubba's, and its quotation is heresy, in spite of qualification through the VCII, and we're all better than muslims and their freakin' Koran, any way state of mind. Quotation must be in full and only from The Catholic Revised Standard or New RSV. Or you go straight to hell because Dog got around to telling the disappeared Pope, Benedict XVI, Limbo does not exist upon Dog's changing his mind 800 years later about the Holy Indulgences scam.
Here's what I ended up with. A bit of a mix of everyone's advice. A full quote of Psalm 140 would put even Catholics to sleep, so I kept just the first few verses to remind a Catholic/Christian reader. I suspect I'll lose most non-Christian readers with the free chapter on Kindle (three prayers in the first scene). Obviously, the first draft is Catholic-heavy. I may scale it back eventually.
Romano’s heart pounded and he trembled. He knelt and prayed one of King David’s psalms for protection of the orphanage. “Deliver us, O Lord, from evildoers; protect us from those who are violent, who plan evil things…” The psalm’s lengthy verses calmed Romano. He finished with, “Amen.”
My thanks to everyone for their input. Any further suggestions are welcome.
Deliver me, O Lord, from evildoers;
protect me from those who are violent,
2 who plan evil things in their minds
and stir up wars continually.
3 They make their tongue sharp as a snake’s,
and under their lips is the venom of vipers.
... yeah calming. All this fuss, and you could have just had the priest say: "God help us, please." Stripping the content and context should send you straight to hell.
Dirk B. wrote:Here's what I ended up with. A bit of a mix of everyone's advice. A full quote of Psalm 140 would put even Catholics to sleep, so I kept just the first few verses to remind a Catholic/Christian reader. I suspect I'll lose most non-Christian readers with the free chapter on Kindle (three prayers in the first scene). Obviously, the first draft is Catholic-heavy. I may scale it back eventually.
Romano’s heart pounded and he trembled. He knelt and prayed one of King David’s psalms for protection of the orphanage. “Deliver us, O Lord, from evildoers; protect us from those who are violent, who plan evil things…” The psalm’s lengthy verses calmed Romano. He finished with, “Amen.”
My thanks to everyone for their input. Any further suggestions are welcome.
Deliver me, O Lord, from evildoers;
protect me from those who are violent,
2 who plan evil things in their minds
and stir up wars continually.
3 They make their tongue sharp as a snake’s,
and under their lips is the venom of vipers.... yeah calming. All this fuss, and you could have just had the priest say: "God help us, please." Stripping the content and context should send you straight to hell.
I condensed (stripped) content for the reasons already given. I disagree that I stripped the context. People pray psalms all the time even though they're not David on the run from Saul. Technically, I actually "adapted" the psalm, which your Bible quote shows. Specifically, I changed "me" to "us", so I'm leaning toward saying adapted rather than prayed the psalm, even though it's a technical detail, IMO.
Your attention to detail is impressive.
Dirk
Charles_F_Bell wrote:Dirk B. wrote:Here's what I ended up with. A bit of a mix of everyone's advice. A full quote of Psalm 140 would put even Catholics to sleep, so I kept just the first few verses to remind a Catholic/Christian reader. I suspect I'll lose most non-Christian readers with the free chapter on Kindle (three prayers in the first scene). Obviously, the first draft is Catholic-heavy. I may scale it back eventually.
My thanks to everyone for their input. Any further suggestions are welcome.
Deliver me, O Lord, from evildoers;
protect me from those who are violent,
2 who plan evil things in their minds
and stir up wars continually.
3 They make their tongue sharp as a snake’s,
and under their lips is the venom of vipers.... yeah calming. All this fuss, and you could have just had the priest say: "God help us, please." Stripping the content and context should send you straight to hell.
I condensed (stripped) content for the reasons already given. I disagree that I stripped the context. People pray psalms all the time even though they're not David on the run from Saul. Technically, I actually "adapted" the psalm, which your Bible quote shows. Specifically, I changed "me" to "us", so I'm leaning toward saying adapted rather than prayed the psalm, even though it's a technical detail, IMO.
Your attention to detail is impressive.
Dirk
Words have meaning and with intent they are included by the author. They are not "useless." I think it is disingenuous, at best, to adapt an edited version of what is a rather lengthy supplication by an individual to his God over to a collective to their Lord {*}. The main implication here is that your communication to others not fully cognizant of the actual words of the Bible as intended by the divinely inspired authors through your edited version creates a meme of falsehood regarding Psalm 140. You stumbled upon the remaining reason, apart from aspects of ritual and bureaucratic process -- and that the Bishop of Rome was created Pope in wholly secular process -- the RCC exists: that as an indivdual you have no capability to interpret the Bible by yourself in reading it. The Second Vatican Council addressed this directly and at least conceded 450 years after Luther that the individual is involved and he is not just a vessel of unthinking cerebral matter as the medieval peasant might have been perceived to be.
{*}The word Lord does come directly from Domine, but dominus in supplication is not always the same in meaning as in ancient semitic languages. see: a tiny portion of the wrinkle here:
http://kurios.homestead.com/marya_the_l … amaic.html
in the argument it is a mistake to have used the English word lord that has strong secular uses as in master over slave, so that in OT has that meaning but in NT and Christianity does not - that OT God, the rule maker, is master over slave, but NT God, not so much.
And the winner is:
Romano’s heart pounded. He knelt and prayed for protection of the orphanage.
I decided the partial quote didn't work/was too clunky.
And the winner is:
Romano’s heart pounded. He knelt and prayed for protection of the orphanage.
I decided the partial quote didn't work/was too clunky.
Amen
And the winner is:
Romano’s heart pounded. He knelt and prayed for protection of the orphanage.
I decided the partial quote didn't work/was too clunky.
Wise. Take care. Vern
TheNextBigWriter Premium → How best to handle large Bible quotes? - Writing Craft
