Topic: Exile in Time
And it begins...
- Kdot
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Re: Exile in Time
Some more thoughts. Correct me if this rating is incorrect:
Jeb: Understands basic space-time principles + Hadron collisions + particle physics (Basically a genius)
Barbara: Understands a bit more than Jeb (greater genius)
Diane: Understands more the n Jeb & Barbara combine (Super genius)
Heather: Assures us she understands very little, yet can sort out complex temporal dynamics, continuity & cause/effect, not to mention direct Barbara in the operation of Hadron Collider) (greater genius)
So this scene is about a genius, 2 greater geniuses, and a super genius sitting in a room discussing time travel.
I think you see where I'm going with this. One little tiny scene doesn't need so many smart characters. It's like oatmeal but not having any cinnamon.
Easy fix: Send Barbara or Diane away - these two compete the most for their niche in the genius-continuum. Jeb doesn't need to be as brilliant as he is. He really could just be a Rambo-type "Just give me something to shoot". Or you could mix it up and have Barbara take that role (though this would kinda break your story).
If you decide to leave them all in there, consider varying up at least one's speech patterns. Maybe a specialized accent? That Vroulaca (sp) really stood out last book despite only having like 5 lines.Something like this would help these four differentiate themselves
- njc
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Re: Exile in Time
More like oatmeal.with so much fancy stuff you can't tsste the oats.
- Rachel (Rhiannon) Parsons
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Re: Exile in Time
I'm not sure which scene you're thinking of. In the scene where Barbara sends Heather back in time, it's Heather whose directing, to be sure, but their "genius" is shared. Heather needs to know if the surface of the matrix is like a reflection, so it can act like a mirror that she can transfer in. To be sure, Barbara's ability to do that was surprising, a bit out of character, really, as Diane later points out. I thought of that, but as it helps develop the friendship between the two women, and a big theme of these books, is friendship in the most extraordinary circumstances, I'm not sure what to do about that, except to keep with the idea that it was largely blind luck on Barbara's part. Jeb only understands the basics of space-time principles, Hadron colliders, and particle physics. His main concern is that it did work, not how it worked. Like Kyle in The Terminator, he could say, "I'm not a tech."
When Diane arrives, followed by Grizelda, she takes over being the genius, with Grizelda being more the sheriff's deputy kvetching about the others being in on an escape attempt. So, no problem in a new genius there. Heather doesn't understand the complexities of the science, only that temporal dislocation is possible through magic that she (and everyone else) is forbidden to practice--not that the forbidden stops here. Barbara's genius status was only in the plot device to have her operate the LHC and the hypydimentional event matrix. She becomes more the security officer and the friend as the story progresses.
I think as the novel progresses, and Heather, Rhiannon, and Diane, not to mention Heveydd and Modrin, get their own scenes, some of the flavors of the different characters will stand out. Jeb's too, although I'm not sure about the side of his character he is showing.
I'll reflect on different speech patterns, but here I might end up in good company--James Patterson wrote a multiple 1st person story where every different character spoke in the same way.
- Kdot
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Re: Exile in Time
To be sure, Barbara's ability to do that was surprising, a bit out of character, really, as Diane later points out...not sure what to do about that, except to keep with the idea that it was largely blind luck on Barbara's part.
It came across as more than blind luck, so you might want to highlight that. Example... say there's a virus on our work network. Well there's north of 5 million files on our various servers. Maybe I guess the file that contains the virus and get it right on the first try (1 in 5 million odds?). I may turn to my coworkers and say it was blind luck, but they'd all be thinking I had some secrets that I knew how to find it and wasn't telling them.
With Barbara, I got the same impression. I got the impression she thought it was luck but that it was really inner brilliance. The way James Bond will magically choose the corner to hide in that the villain will foolishly overlook. Bond doesn't know how he does it, just as Barbara doesn't know how she does it. Neither of them are no less brilliant for not knowing how they arrive at their results.
Not sure a good approach to fix this. By the time Diana can remark it's out of character, I'm pretty certain it will be too lake and the genius status will already be baked in. We'll see.
Jeb only understands the basics of space-time principles, Hadron colliders, and particle physics. His main concern is that it did work, not how it worked. Like Kyle in The Terminator, he could say, "I'm not a tech."
I got the impression he understands the basics, so that part was conveyed well. But you know... comprehending the (basic) nature of the curvature of space is not the easiest thing, even if you can't work out a time dilation equation to save your life. I get the impression that if he had to compute eigenvalues on a ticking bomb he was chained to, he'd make it out at least a few seconds before detonation.
Barbara's genius status was only in the plot device to have her operate the LHC and the hypydimentional event matrix. She becomes more the security officer and the friend as the story progresses.
Herein lies the fun. As far as the story's concerned, there's no difference if she had a temporary burst of genius or if she closed her eyes and pressed random buttons.
(granted, I have a limited view of the story so far)
Now that I think of it, she could even get the same effect by spilling her coffee on the control console.
Don't laugh, but oddly, I think sudden onset genius is the best option as you have it. Barbara's not really in my cross hairs because she's developed well
- Rachel (Rhiannon) Parsons
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Re: Exile in Time
I think my best bet is to let the characters develop, and we'll see their talents, abilities, and actions unfold. Barbara is an agent, so the Bond analog is apt. She and Jeb are both of a Bond quality. And yes, Jeb would probably be able to compute eigenvalues in the scenario you generate.
