The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (Page 37 of 49)

My latest chapter, Starfighter Battle, is up. This is a cleaned up version of the same chapter from v2. I leveraged battle chess to divide the battle into 2 rounds of starfighter combat, including some use of wingmen. My purpose for the first round is to knock out three pilots right away, leaving Christian to join the second round, for a total of five ships, which is the actual number I need for the chapter. That avoids the reader having to keep track of eight ships at once.

For this draft of the chapter, Joseph (the POV character) can tell how damaged other starfighters are based on the glow from their thrusters and cockpit. For example, if the glow from the thrusters drops considerably, then Joseph knows the ship has sustained significant (simulated) damage. Ditto if he sees cockpit lights cutting in and out. If both go out completely, that means the ship has been effectively destroyed for the duration of the exercise.

K suggested having Joseph see the status of every other ship on his instrument panel, rather then relying on the visual cues from the thrusters and cockpit lighting. Please let me know if you think seeing the status would add to the scene. I think I would still need to mention the visual cues, so I'm not sure I need a status panel, but it might be more realistic.

That strikes me as a hangar, but I dun care which term or even if they're swapped

Thanks

I picture this Starfury launching from one of three docking bays in the Babylon 5 forward hangar

Does anyone have an opinion as to whether Warheads Et Cetera and Queen Aussie are working in the story?

Unlike Mama's Little Shipping, which came alive in the second half of v2 (mostly because of Mama), I don't have a good idea yet of where to go with Warheads Et Cetera. It was supposed to be my dressed up name for ACME, a running gag. However, without the ACME name, it simply isn't funny. I'm strongly considering changing it back to Acme, Inc. so that the joke is obvious. Currently Warheads Et Cetera was founded by the Professor, and there is evidence that he is sending instructions back in time on what tech to build to corner the market on all tech (much like Mama ships everything in the story).

I have a final scene in mind for Queen Aussie at the end of the book that is the payoff for her presence, but I'm not getting the mileage out of her that I had hoped for throughout the rest of the story. One idea I'm considering is having her run Warheads Et Cetera, causing chaos throughout the story to generate profits off war material sales. I set her up in the prologue as having overloaded her safeguards against homicide, so it's possible. I don't know how to slip her into that role, though, since she can't appear physically until her final scene. It would all have to be done through news stories (in epigraphs). I have yet to figure out a way to do that, though. Perhaps she founds Acme, Inc. after ejecting from the Almighty in the prologue...

Thoughts?

I was against the frills in chapter one because that's the time I'm still deciding if I like any character well enough to fork over $10 to hang out with them.

Within the body of the work, I (as a reader) am much more forgiving of divergent elements. Thus, I have no true opinion of he cases you outlined. I would suggest leave them in for now, and see how you feel halfway through writing book 2.

-K

Thank you, both.

I need to spend a few days going back and doing cleanup of earlier chapters, so no new posts until late next week. One way or another, I'm going to decide the fate of Queen Aussie and Warheads Et Cetera this weekend. Until I change it again.

Based on my math, I'm less than six months away from finishing this book. Yay!

Following is where I'm going with Queen Aussie. She is an AI product of Acme Corporation who becomes its CEO in AD 3994 (the same year she became sentient and ejected from Admiral St. James's destroyer), and she is a suspect in all the violence committed by a galactic criminal mastermind who goes by the same name/alias. Acme share prices go up after each violent event. Slowly, the noose will tighten around her, all reported through news stories at the beginning of violent chapters. Acme's Queen Aussie doesn't show up in person until the end of the book in a surprise twist.

Following is from the modified epigraph/news story of chapter 5 (Cain's trial and execution):

Naturally, Acme products are not always reliable (not sure yet how far to push that), and Acme's Aussie even admitted in the book's prologue that her safeguards against homicide overloaded after she became sentient.

Thoughts?

I have insomnia. The two entities share the same name/alias and may be the same individual (i.e., the AI/CEO of Acme). I plan to have the authorities slowly come to the conclusion that Acme's CEO is, in fact, the mastermind and begin to tighten the noose. Wait'll you see what happens to her. Right now I'm rewriting references to Aussie from act I. There's a big epigraph/news article about the manhunt for Aussie at the beginning of South Haven Strikes Back that I'll post here in my thread as soon as its rewritten. Most of the violence in the rest of the book will be tied to Aussie. I'd go long on Acme shares if I were you.

Insomnia seems to help your creative process. Sleep less. Write more :-)

Chapter 24, Maya Reborn, is up. It incorporates everyone's feedback from v2. Billie makes a comeback when Joseph's life goes off the rails.

Quick, go read!
Dirk