1,451 (edited by Norm d'Plume 2016-07-17 18:07:01)

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

njc wrote:

Have you considered that the environmental systems may have an emergency mode?  By carrying far more oxygen than nitrogen, and allowing the partial pressure of nitrogen to drop until it's about equal to the partial pressure of oxygen, you can slow the loss of nitrogen by about two thirds.  (Fire becomes a greater danger.)

The AI is damaged. Assuming it's giving correct answers to the three numbers (a HUGE if), that would include automatic emergency procedures, assuming it can initiate them. Exploring those details would detract from the real purpose of the scene.

1,452 (edited by Norm d'Plume 2016-07-17 18:14:15)

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Janet (AJ) Reid wrote:

But in all seriousness, the last two numbers, depending if you want to keep this 100% believable or on the edge of believable, will be determined by the human body is my understanding. What I'm not sure about is: have you considered variability? And is there even variability between humans - for example, would a healthy, fit 20yo be able to walk out while a 50yo smoker should've worn a red shirt that day?

There is definitely variability. Following is the wording I used:

“At the present rate of air loss, we’ll pass out in about four minutes, and we’ll be dead in nine. It will take at least eleven minutes to dock with the Decianus and repressurize.”

That wording shows the numbers are estimates. Clearly, though, I'm mostly ignoring the variability.

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Norm d'Plume wrote:

The AI is damaged. Assuming it's giving correct answers to the three numbers (a HUGE if), that would include automatic emergency procedures, assuming it can initiate them. Exploring those details would detract from the real purpose of the scene.

So use that for tension and uncertainty.

1,454 (edited by Norm d'Plume 2016-07-17 21:24:53)

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

I can't have an uncertainty here initially. It's either a divine miracle that Apollo survived or he's dead. The third option (faulty estimates from the AI) doesn't crop up as a possibility until later. I need to get the three numbers sufficiently accurate up front that we'll never know whether it was a miracle or a computer error (the AI burns out before anyone can check). There seems to be a wide margin for error here due to differences between individuals, so it shouldn't be too hard to get the numbers within the correct range.

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

You'll be proud, Amy. I finally put all my characters into an alignment chart. tongue Surprisingly, it's fairly even across the board, except that I don't have a single Lawful Evil character, which in my opinion is the most difficult to write.

I also realized that all my favorite characters from books and movies are Chaotic Neutral...

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Jenna is lawful evil

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Amy,

About the publisher's advice about reducing internal dialog. Offhand the only thing I could think of was to omit any internal dialog that reveals Alda's character or personality. Character and personality can be revealed, by Alda's actions and conversations with other characters. This leaves only internal dialog that moves the story along or revealing what she thinks about other characters. Not sure if this makes much sense. I'll go back and read ch. 1 again, and think about it and let you know if I can think of anything else.

As far as polar bears go: 
You know how to catch a polar bear?
No.
You did a big hole in the snow, and line the edge of the hole with fresh peas. When the bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice-hole.

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Elishiva,

I am proud:-) One more way to better understand your peeps.

Ernie, I can't take you anywhere without a well-meaning pun!

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Sorry for the silence, folks. Nothing puts a damper on creative thought more than an asthma flare up and fighting Human Resources to straighten out a health spending account.

Too much reality. I gotta write more.

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

amy s wrote:

Too much reality. I gotta write more.

This needs to be a shirt...

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

I agree. I'm going to tweet it because I said something wise that would look great on a Tshirt.

Royalties?  Doubt it. Chops for being truthful?  Absolutely.

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

OK, I just put together the magic and can see the end battle for Dictates. Took long enough, didn't it?  That's what I get for writing without a template. However, the magic is AWESOME.  Can't wait to put down those words. Then I only have to figure out how to get the characters to a HFN point in the story. (I may end it with Lewellen and Petra getting together...we'll see)

I also took Acts (first half that ends at the duel with Alina) to my camping vacation and dared to leave it on a table...quite nerve wracking, I have to admit. Feedback was good. Of the readers who took the time, there were some interesting suggestions. I left the book with a beta reader who will mark it up with red ink. I'm still awaiting her opinion.

I queried a publisher about the autism stories. I'm still waiting to hear back. He is one of my first choices for a dream publisher, because he does High Fantasy as well as Blog-to-Book.  I don't expect much, but it is nice to hope and I'll hold out until my (first!) rejection notice comes in. Then I'll tape it to a bulletin board and throw darts at it every couple days. (maybe I'll make it into a drinking game and get a beer if I hit the publisher's name) Hmmm. 

Still doing twitter. Still doing Facebook. Still overworked at work. It is still summer and I'm surrounded by injuries that follow weird patterns. Today's Soup Du Jour is eye injuries. A globe rupture and a different patient with facial fractures.

Later.

A

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

At work, yesterday's Soup Du Jour was kids too young to be on minibikes. Look up what I'm talking about. The very concept is horrifying. And they are available for purchase at Walmart. That should tell you how safe they are.

And my next chapter is up for Dictates. I'm moving to the climax and hopefully to the end of Jaylene's story. Goals: Destroy the Horror. Show everyone Base Camp. Trash Base Camp. Battle Royale. Happy For Now.

Moving on...

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

In response to the review reply: The clew-laying is pretty good, especially the camouflage of one clew by another.  But if you keep the action and description separated and sequenced so that you don't make the reader pick one apart from another, the reader is less likely to stop and notice things.  And when you do stop, force the reader's attention on a dilemma and away from the clew.

Unfortunately, The Sleeping Sphinx is not available on Kindle.  But =The Blind Barber= is.  So is =The Bride of Newgate= and =The Man Who Could Not Shudder=.

I think I'll add another comment (or more) to the review.

1,465 (edited by Unbar 2016-08-19 20:06:17)

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Amy. Quite a while back your husband worked on a possible cover for me but I wasn't ready to move on it.  As i finally get ready to release book2 in my series I am wanting to change the cover and title for book 1 before doing so and I liked what your husband did.  Can you please send me an email with your contact information?  I have a few questions offline to ask you.  Thanks, here is my email.  robertjfluegel@gmail.com

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Done. Check your inbox.

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

amy s wrote:

OK, I just put together the magic and can see the end battle for Dictates. Took long enough, didn't it?  That's what I get for writing without a template. However, the magic is AWESOME.  Can't wait to put down those words. Then I only have to figure out how to get the characters to a HFN point in the story. (I may end it with Lewellen and Petra getting together...we'll see)

I also took Acts (first half that ends at the duel with Alina) to my camping vacation and dared to leave it on a table...quite nerve wracking, I have to admit. Feedback was good. Of the readers who took the time, there were some interesting suggestions. I left the book with a beta reader who will mark it up with red ink. I'm still awaiting her opinion.

I queried a publisher about the autism stories. I'm still waiting to hear back. He is one of my first choices for a dream publisher, because he does High Fantasy as well as Blog-to-Book.  I don't expect much, but it is nice to hope and I'll hold out until my (first!) rejection notice comes in. Then I'll tape it to a bulletin board and throw darts at it every couple days. (maybe I'll make it into a drinking game and get a beer if I hit the publisher's name) Hmmm. 

Still doing twitter. Still doing Facebook. Still overworked at work. It is still summer and I'm surrounded by injuries that follow weird patterns. Today's Soup Du Jour is eye injuries. A globe rupture and a different patient with facial fractures.

Later.

A

I also owe you a lot of reviews! And I'm so glad to hear about the autism stories - I read everyone on facebook too!!! *crosses all my fingers and toes*

Also, there's a good chance that I'll have to visit Detroit/Oregon OH in the next 2-3 months ... How far away is that from you guys?! All I know it's a hell of a lot closer than the west coast!!!!

I feel you overwork pain. Sorry to hear it's not really any better. Hang in there!!!

Janet xx

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Not close to me, but doable with motel rest nights.    No way to swing through Mesa on such a short smile trip.

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Oregon, OH (unless there are 2 facilities) is less than 15 miles away from me. Is it the refinery, I assume? Give me as much notice as possible so I can get the time off! There is NOTHING to do do in Toledo but eat. And don't bring a warm coat...I'll send you back with a new one!

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

New Jersey, you had better come. Just a hop and skip once you get through the Penn turnpike!

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Oh, and Detroit is only an hour away, so that works too. If you go to Oregon, stay at Maumee Bay State Park. It is only a few miles away fro where I think the refinery is. Good food, pretty view, and my kids like the pool.

1,472 (edited by njc 2016-08-20 10:54:54)

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Checked.  I80 is supposed tp be a shorter drive.

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

I will definitely let you know when it happens. And yes, it's the BP-Husky refinery. So far it looks a given - there's no way I can catch up with what they're doing without looking them in the eye. Monday I'm discussing this with my direct boss - the project manager still thinks we can do it telecon and in one day, but I don't think so. Depending on my what my boss says, I'll push harder with the PM. This month is out, September will be hard to fit a trip in, so depending on the other guys at the refinery, it could be earliest October. I'll speak with Hubby and have him agree for me to stay 1-2 nights over a weekend and only fly back on the Sunday.

I'm so excited, but I'm also so scared it won't pan out. *thumbs crossed!* smile

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

amy s wrote:

Oregon, OH (unless there are 2 facilities) is less than 15 miles away from me. Is it the refinery, I assume? Give me as much notice as possible so I can get the time off! There is NOTHING to do do in Toledo but eat. And don't bring a warm coat...I'll send you back with a new one!

And dinner is on me! Only 15 miles?! *jumps up and down!!!!*

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

njc wrote:

Checked.  I80 is supposed tp be a shorter drive.

It will be beyond super awesome if you could be there too!
Speaking of trips and driving, how is your health going lately?