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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

amy s wrote:

Yes, ma'am.

However, I just realized that I can't publish until we get to hang out. Only after I get my bottle of wine will I consider taking the plunge and talking to a publisher. (How did I manage to put that back on you? I'm brilliant! :-)

Ha! Better start polishing them then and make sure you have enough ... I haven't seen one recently, I might have missed it ...

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

FYI, I agree with Erndog that the chapter ends like a Mahler symphonic movement: no extended closing, just BOMP-BWMP!  A paragraph describing the scene of victory might work well, followed perhaps by Jaylene's recognition that they'll have a lot more survivors to find, and they can't miss any.

I also think you could have a better title.

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Janet, I'm going through the reviews and glutting on revisions, applying the advice people have given me. Something I've never said to you…you are AMAZING at finding things that are missing… conjunctions like and and missing verbs…holy crap!  You found at least 10 on a chapter. Sometimes it is harder to see what is missing than what is there. Good job!

A

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

New Jersey, your reviews make my back hurt. Just saying. Too much leaning over the keyboard…

FYI, the chapter "FIghting for Lives" is revised, order issues are fixed, and I took Ernie's advice to slow the pace and avoid an abrupt ending.  Nothing other than the ending is different.

Oh, and NJC? You were right. I was describing and atl-atl.  Spot on.

1,230 (edited by njc 2016-03-04 16:59:50)

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Student: Mr. Heaviside, your books are very hard to read.

Oliver Heaviside: That may be, but I assure you, they were very much harder to write.

1,231 (edited by njc 2016-03-04 17:14:09)

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

There's still at least one impacted.  I have a few other suggestions, but in general it's a biiig step away from the weaknesses.  I'll try to get the suggestions up tonight but I really want to get the chapter done.  I've been three weeks on it.

1,232

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

I'm working on the revisions and thinking out the next scene/conversations. Get your own work done. I'll be hanging out here, trying to absorb the collective wisdom.

1,233 (edited by AJ Reid 2016-03-05 00:57:14)

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

amy s wrote:

Janet, I'm going through the reviews and glutting on revisions, applying the advice people have given me. Something I've never said to you…you are AMAZING at finding things that are missing… conjunctions like and and missing verbs…holy crap!  You found at least 10 on a chapter. Sometimes it is harder to see what is missing than what is there. Good job!

A

*blushes prettily*

*blushes some more*

AMAZING?!

*bore big toe into sand, smiling shyly*

Awhhh!!!! THANKS!!!!! I'm glad I'm helping every now and again. smile

Thanks for letting me know!

*does a happy dance*

You're pretty amazing too, you know?!

1,234

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

The Alda in me nods matter-of-factly and says, "I know."

I had no idea there were so many missing items. I'm a pretty good typist. You would think I'd notice their absence.

However, I was staring at my keyboard and saying things like, "She caught another missing closed quote?  WTF?"

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

amy s wrote:

The Alda in me nods matter-of-factly and says, "I know."

I had no idea there were so many missing items. I'm a pretty good typist. You would think I'd notice their absence.

However, I was staring at my keyboard and saying things like, "She caught another missing closed quote?  WTF?"

Will it make you feel any better if I tell you you're not the only one that regularly goes "another @#%$& missing quote?!" smile

The Alda in you knows what she's talking about! wink

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

*Belly laughing on your review reply.*  Yeah, we can't have inflation, can we?  Besides, your work is so good my compliments might be faint praise.

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

I don't need praise. It breeds confidence and security. Two things that I completely fear. But thanks anyway. Each rewrite is getting better…I'll admit that much.

Sigh. I just realized that if I want to keep Melody and Drezdorf in the series, then they need their own book. All of the other Wolves are getting major screen time and character work. If I don't do the same for the last two Wovles, then I need to delete their characters.

I was thinking about the focus. It would have to be about the non-humans. Elves and dwarves, rather than the human interactions that have been present so far. It would let me use the short story about Ia (I may change that to Ea so that it gets pronounced right).  I could also use the story where Melody goes to the elven city.

So anyway, I'm still debating another book, but the idea is growing on me.

Wait, 'might' be?  Oh, them's fighting words :-)

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

I'm not convinced about Melody and Drezdorf.  Certainly you don't need to rearchitect it; you can allow their stories to remain untold until later, the way OSCard did with Bean.  Let's get the Behira-verse before the public.

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

(Get my bootie writing and finish this first draft, huh?) Got it :-)

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Janet,

Chapter 15 and chapter 20. If you have time, I'll owe you!

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

amy s wrote:

Janet,

Chapter 15 and chapter 20. If you have time, I'll owe you!

Done! Hope it helps! After this, I'm expecting to see a full-blown Romance from you! smile

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

In return, maybe you can consider writing some Fantasy. Maybe a ghost mystery placed in the same time period as NS?

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

amy s wrote:

In return, maybe you can consider writing some Fantasy. Maybe a ghost mystery placed in the same time period as NS?

Oooogh.... Janet, pretty pretty please! wink


-Elisheva

1,244

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Just keep the mystery sound.  Your shades are not to be Deux ex Machina.

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Mmm, I don't think I can, but I think I should at least try. I'll see if I can get a short story together this week ... But don't hold your breaths!

1,246 (edited by njc 2016-03-15 03:43:57)

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Try this:

Behavior of ghosts is explained by stories ...
Events occur in the present ...
Behavior of ghosts increases/changes ...
Examination of the ghost stories show they are inconsistent with history, human motivation, etc.  (See Fridge Logic on TVTropes.org) ...
Present events are linked to the ghosts' history and their stories ...
Present events have dangers which are unknown and misunderstood ...
Correct interpretation of the ghosts and their stories reveals history that explains present events ... and leads to resolution of mystery/jeopardy (and 'jeopardy' might include Romance as a secondary element).

The challenge, after doing it at all, is to keep it from becoming formula.  If you frame the stories well enough and with enough different twists I think you could play it for at least eight or ten stories, perhaps of multiple volumes each.  False or incomplete solutions can keep things going.  (Ellery Queen did that a lot in the early stories: "Solves two murders three times!")  Histories of WHEN the apparitions have historically occurred may also provide clues, just as subsequent murders can muddy--or reveal--the truth of earlier ones.

1,247

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Janet,

I would love to see C and M in different places and times…living out a variety of situations where the clues come together to solve the mystery. Maybe something that the reader is given to understand but the characters never see because they are too immersed in the action.

It would be a great way to keep these characters that you love active and part of your storyline. And it gives their love a timelessness that could really appeal.

1,248

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Heck, present-and-past-in-parallel like Dark Shadows, which opened a huge genre door.

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Whoa! This is getting really serious. I also want to write 3 books! lol Not sure I can do this, trust me, this is so not my genre, you lot should really be worried instead of enthusiastic! Lots of things to think about and would be good for a break too. *chews end of pencil*

1,250

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

K. wrote:

"Bob saw the rippling surface of gladiator"

I can write this! smile