Re: The Sorcerer's Progress
The read like a dream = read real easy = I forgot I was reviewing, not reading. 
- janet reid
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- janet reid
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Re: The Sorcerer's Progress
I still have a few chapters to catch up with. Will get to it this weekend I hope.
- njc
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Re: The Sorcerer's Progress
amy s wrote:
I have time tonight. Chapter number? Oh, Janet, I read you steam-scenes and will try to get to those three chapters tonight as well.
B2Ch33. It's the one prominently displayed on the main page.
- njc
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Re: The Sorcerer's Progress
Grumpble. New Big Idea involves showing how Erevain's perceptions prejudice him ... and doing it in compact dialogue. I've gotta do a good impersonation of a Good Writer to pull this off.
See the first few hundred words of Wilkie Collins's =The Woman in White=. Even as the narrator tells us how ugly the woman is, he makes us fall in love with her. BRILLIANT writing.
- njc
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Re: The Sorcerer's Progress
Amy, thanks. I know I grumble, but often it takes the form of "You have to be clear that they're going to the right," and I reply "No, I have to be clear that they're going to the LEFT!" I may make a few edits today but I need to work on the Bright Idea that I had. And I captured the visage of a woman who, I think, is a good model for Dianen (for reasons that will become clear). I am not an artist, unlike your husband.
- njc
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Re: The Sorcerer's Progress
Some edits to B2Ch33. Some of them address Amy's comments; some do not. All add w$rds.
- njc
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Re: The Sorcerer's Progress
A few more edits to Kirsey and Melayne visiting Master Threkesrom. I do hope these are the last for a while.
Amy, I might have gotten the bit about the curtsy right. To answer a point from your review, the Academy was born in the wreckage of the great Sundering. It was assembled from world-fragments, and some of those were recyled rather roughly. (That doesn't mean your concerns are invalid. Heheheh, you wanted clooz.)
Meanwhile, I have some changes to B1 in mind that might send Glaselle to Pazot and Lifpynth in Book 2. I mean to get her out, and a small, disconcerting trip might be a good start.
Some reviews tonight. (Amy, don't you wish you had something out there for me to review ... ?) After that I'll see again if I can get things fitting around Erevain.
- amy s
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Re: The Sorcerer's Progress
I have 1000 words written for the next chapter of Dictates. However, I got sidetracked by a rewrite of Chapter 1 vs prologue. Blame yourself.
- njc
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Re: The Sorcerer's Progress
The Glaselle/Lifspynth change will close a small plot hole and give me a way to get her involved in things. I've been looking for a way to start that since ... well, for a while. Nothing big.
- njc
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Re: The Sorcerer's Progress
And I'm having a glut of large-plot ideas pour in now. I'm recording them while trying to do immediate tasks. And I owe a bunch of reviews. Let's see if I can do four or five tonight.
- njc
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Re: The Sorcerer's Progress
I've got about 2100 words on paper for the next (half?) chapter with Nikkano and Erevain. It's finally close to what I want. I need to get about 9 hours of sleep, then I'll type it up and see how it looks. I type around 17 wpm, so it's a 2+ hour job. If it doesn't look too bad I'll put it up.
- amy s
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Re: The Sorcerer's Progress
It would be quicker if you typed while writing instead of chicken scratch on paper. I know it takes a leap of faith, but it makes a big difference in time spent scribing instead of writing. I used to think that time was useful for a second revision, but I've learned better. Just write the next story on the computer. I double dog triple dare you.
- njc
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Re: The Sorcerer's Progress
Sometimes that works for me. Sometimes it doesn't. When I'm thinking at multiple levels about my topic, it doesn't work. To make matters worse, I'm using WYSIWYG (Waht You See Is ALL you Get) and after the experience of an efficient, moded text editor, that's a constant source of digital (as in finger) frustration.
- njc
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Re: The Sorcerer's Progress
I've finally got Dianen into the story. All that work, and she's dead before the story begins. (No KH, no need to comment. Mind your own earwax. )
- njc
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Re: The Sorcerer's Progress
I just incorporated people's comments for Ch6: Erevain. If anyone really wants it, I'll repub for points.
I've had things on my mind that have made it hard to work on new material. I hope that's clearing now.
- amy s
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Re: The Sorcerer's Progress
Correction. Chapter 4. Book 1.
Review done. Good job.
- njc
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Re: The Sorcerer's Progress
amy s wrote:
Correction. Chapter 4. Book 1.
Review done. Good job.
Not by the number of comments! I'll reply to each in full later.
- amy s
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Re: The Sorcerer's Progress
Should I be nice to you or pull out the baseball bat? If I have to thin my comments to five (in order to save you more bruising) then you better take each and every one of them to heart before you reject them.
Personally, I think the review is harder to do with a five comment limit. Don't make me do it, boss! I'll be good...I promise!
- njc
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Re: The Sorcerer's Progress
You don't have to limit your comments ... but didn't you hit that one?
You're miffed because you said that I hadn't said Merran was falling behind, when I'd said it four sentences back ... or was it because I told you how low the roof was when Erevain entered, and you forgot when he cut a piece off the ham?
- amy s
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Re: The Sorcerer's Progress
I'm not miffed. I'm worried that my fat mouth and lack of shutters got me in trouble with you. Really. Pretty much sums it up. I went through a similar phase w K until I realized he has a blast shield covering his narbles.
- njc
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Re: The Sorcerer's Progress
Don't worry. Our disagreements on style aren't (I hope!) personal. It's not politics. Heck, even Wagner admitted, sorta, kinda, that he was influenced by Liszt.
I do wonder, though, whether I'm keeping your attention when you miss the part about Merran being five feet behind. Not so much the detail of the rafters and the eaves.
Hey, ever think of doing a thread just on what you've learned from the SCA?
- janet reid
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Re: The Sorcerer's Progress
njc wrote:
Don't worry. Our disagreements on style aren't (I hope!) personal. It's not politics. Heck, even Wagner admitted, sorta, kinda, that he was influenced by Liszt.
I do wonder, though, whether I'm keeping your attention when you miss the part about Merran being five feet behind. Not so much the detail of the rafters and the eaves.
Hey, ever think of doing a thread just on what you've learned from the SCA?
Mmmm, now if this was the main forum, it would've been personal with a capital P! LOL
Also, what K said and you have to keep in mind that when people (I) review, they're not "reading". Now some (you) read the chapter before they review, but I think most don't. So in my opinion, with anything else, it's up to you to decide whether it's "reading from a screen", "reading with a review brain" or "reading like a reader" and if you need to take it on board or ignore it. This is something I really struggle with sometimes. If you have multiple reviews and only one reviewer picked on it, then maybe it's not so much of an issue and it could be that the reviewer (Amy - hehehe) was doing it 2am on night shift? Most of the time I have no idea what K is doing other than just being K.
My 2 cents that I think you already know and do, but I just thought I'd throw it out here and look like I know what I'm doing.
550 2015-12-05 00:56:48 (edited by njc 2015-12-05 00:57:56)
- njc
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Re: The Sorcerer's Progress
janet reid wrote:
Mmmm, now if this was the main forum, it would've been personal with a capital P! LOL
Well, to quote what I wrote on another thread, never argue with anything bigger than you can lift ...
To put it another way, I prefer repartee to rapiers. and double-entendre to daggers..
