Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread (Page 17 of 77)

OK, I've posted my first draft of Katerin's short story for the Cop Shop contest. Does anyone have any time for a review? Figure if I'm going to write for the contest, I should have something that I can use in my storyline.

More Katerin, NJC…How did I do?

I need to crash for an hour or two and then do a couple hours of noisy cleaning.  I'll look after that.

Amy, you have created a situation of great depth and complexity.  The payoff, if you can get everything just right, is huge.  But if you're having trouble, you should dial back carefully on what you are imputing to the characters and circumstances.  I suspect that you'll want to do that in one or two places, leaving those parts of the story untold.  But most of it I am expecting you'll tweak and fill in.

This is actually a question of detail and gestalt.  You need to go from the socks back to the pile.

You've got a good point. I'm going to finish this story and then go back to Jaylene's storyline.

I still find that when I wrote the stories in sequence time-wise (between Mandates and Dictates), it seemed to flow better. That was when there was 'matching' and people could realize that things were happening at the same time.  Or at least, it was the closest I've gotten.

I'll figure it out. Once the order of events becomes clearer, (by adding the necromancer presence to Acts) I should have a much clearer idea how to thin and then tighten the clues so they don't get buried by the pile of information.

I'm kick-ass at sorting socks, by the way. You gave me a lot of hope with that analogy. It's a patterning skill, so I just reach in and start putting pairs together without even thinking.

I needed that smile. Thanks:-)

Even I got that one! 

Amy, I've started my review yesterday, trying to get it done over lunch today *crosses fingers*

You need to help me out a bit K ...

https://www.google.com/search?q=%3E:@+e … d=0CDYQsAQ

Review coming up tmrw, I'm loosing my touch *blushes*

No.  A wand recognizes its master, but 'brother' wands only react if you try to use them against each other.  And it's not the wand but the magical core: unicorn hair-tail, dragon heartstring, pheonix feather, etc.

Thanks. I don't expect to win because of the difference in genre. I just wanted to write something that I could use later and I've never written from Katerin's perspective before. So kudos to JP Lundstrom for having the contest. Otherwise, I might not have thought of this as an option.

The wand history if something that I should probably thin out, but I need to make the first display of magic bigger so that newbies will realize some of the rules. The trick is to make it so that anyone who has read my other material will realize how different it is for Alina's students than every other magic user in my world. Alina's school is a collective instead of their own individual power plant. Since Alina trained them all to work together, they have the ability to do 'major works.' They just haven't figured that out yet.

K, in your language, Alina was a demigod. She was just too dumb to realize the power in her grasp.

Oh, your point about the wands is well-taken. That is why I haven't focused on Katerin's power as much as Anver's. But for this story it is a REAL sticking point. Every new person who reads this will have preconceptions about what Katerin's wand can do. I've got to think about this...