Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread (Page 14 of 77)

Sol is notified. 

Geron has motivations that I haven't figured out yet, but this is what I have so far.  He started out as Master and there was a dramatic increase in the number of mages.  So much that he couldn't run the school by himself.  He made a system where there were seven (including him) mages and a majority vote to make changes to the system.  He screwed himself.  Up until the time where Anver took over, Geron's only ally was Kha.  The other five were narcissists and routinely outvoted the old man. 

Once Anver takes over Lucas' school, Katerin takes over Alina's, and Kha retains his school, Geron will have majority again.  And all this happens within the space of a month to shift the balance of power.  Suppose I should make this clear earlier, but that was an add-on that I planned to add in the revisions.

After that, I get to take the Guild to war.  Let the games begin!

A

All of this works with what I wrote above.  You just need to name him--and the process--earlier  His appearance fulfills the anticipation and answers the curiosity that you set up.

I'll have to think about that one. The way I visualized it, It could happen. The only thing in flux is the final battle. He wouldn't use it to influence what happened later, however it would be a great way to let characters know what is going on somewhere else.

In the first couple of chapters, you mention The Overseer.  I'm guessing that's the Mage Master Geron.  You can use that to get the politics in, as well as the structure of the schools.

If you see a situation that applies (in retrospect), make sure you let me know.

A

I'm beginning to wonder now about Rubats showing up in all the right--or wrong--places.  And if the Guildhouse is sentient in any degree, whose mind(s) do(es) it carry?

I took another look at Acts, and wonder whether you could break the story soon after Alina's demise, or with the announcement that Zyrtec's quarters are in Kha's building.

Also, and this qualifies as a problem, in one of the containment jar chapters, you have Katerin claim knowledge of the layout of Kha's rooms.  How can she?

This male reader is in love with Katerin.  Do you expect your female readers to lust after Anver?

Oh, that snickering knife.  I hope you're hanging something important on it.

Now, larger question: do you have an overarching title for the whole work.  Something like Long Shadow of the Chronomancer or Earthwound?  Or The Ages of Magic?  Or a quote from My Name is John Wellington Wells?

If the series title includes 'Chronomancer' you could blurb Kha's line about Chronomancers seeing multiple futures ... two apples short of a pie.

Put the volume break shortly after Alina's death, just where the 'Easter Egg Hunt' is announced.  That way Volume One's immediate arc is concerned with Alina and her school while the background problem has been introduced, and Kha has told us about the necromancy attacks.

A fellow I worked with, years ago, had written and performed a song called =Yesterday's Tomorrow is Tomorrow's Yesterday=.  Leonard Cohen he wasn't, but it's an intriguing and Zyrtec-ish title.

I learned that the Fantasy novel that had come in the belated Christmas bundle from my brother and sister-in-law was a self-published work by a friend, so I read it.  I wish I'd had the chance to comment when he'd workshopped it.  But it was published after gathering dust, in the knowledge that it wasn't what it should have been.

But it wasn't -that- far from being good.

not that kind of book, though I suppose somebody in the MC lineup is gay. Gotta think on that one.

He either has an alternate personality disorder or a gal who inspired Kwan who hops on his computer and embarrasses him. I'm leaning toward the former since he has admitted getting into arguments at Burger King with himself and losing. Either way, he likes being mysterious so he'll likely not answer this directly.

'S OK.  We like him anyway. Warts and all.

XXOO

Arrrgh!  I'm stuck on Mandates as I slowly visualize the theatrics of Katerin's dress and the show that the mages will put on when they take their places to make the shield.  this is harder because it's a new chapter instead of just a rewrite.  I could probably do a quick chapter of Dictates in between, but I'm putting it off to make myself finish this b***h. 

I also had a big weekend at the local waterpark with the kids.  Kinda took a lot out of me.  Let's see if I can get something on the site within the next three days.  I just need to write something down and accept that it'll get better in the rewrite. 

Eh, at least I figured out Katerin's dress. 

OK, let's see what I can come up with. 

K, I notice that you were typically vague.  However, you called Kwan, 'It.'  Naughty, K.  Naughty.

A

Not desperate enough.  Curious.  I wouldn't force a handedness in Collin.  1) It wouldn't work  2) It wouldn't work. 

However, I'm wondering if his ambidexterity would allow him to 'play' with using his right instead of L hand to write.  And I'm wondering how he would do on his vocabulary after using that different part of his brain. 

Hmmm.