Topic: IBM memo on replacing mouse balls

This "memo" is quoted in numerous places online and in at least one book on humor. It's seems so absurd (and hilarious) that it "could" be true. Because you just can't make this [censored] up, folks. :-)

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This is an actual alert to IBM Field Engineers that went out to all IBM Branch Offices.

Abstract: Mouse Balls Available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit)
Mouse balls are now available as FRU. Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.

Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced using the twist-off method. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.

It is recommended that each replacer have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction, and that any customer missing his balls should suspect local personnel of removing these necessary items.

To re-order, specify one of the following:

P/N 33F8462 - Domestic Mouse Balls
P/N 33F8461 - Foreign Mouse Balls

Quote Post 1

Re: IBM memo on replacing mouse balls

Absolutely hilarious. I've seen this elsewhere, but seeing it again just makes it funnier.

Bill

Quote Post 2

3 Reply by njc (edited by njc 2025-04-23 18:30:52)

Re: IBM memo on replacing mouse balls

I suppose this is a good point at which to recall the "IBM coathook" story.

IBM once had a part number for a coathook.

Once upon a time, when the world was young and mainframes filled whole rooms, there was an IBM part number for a coathook.

In spite of filters for the cooling air, the interior of mainframes would collect dust, and all the grotty things that are in dust.  Said interiors were where techs had to work to find and fix problems, and IBM techs were professionals in a primitive age that demanded white shirts, jackets, and ties.  To allow their techs to work without spoiling their handsome IBM jackets, the mainframes were equipped with a coathook inside where the tech's coat could be safely hung, but only after the mainframe's door was securely closed!

Quote Post 3

Re: IBM memo on replacing mouse balls

Naturally, there was no casual Friday back then. Goldman Sachs, being the uptight bunch they are, had a seasonal casual Friday only. Not a year-round thing while I was still working there. I was never more happy to get laid off from a company. Management's favorite mantra was "Our people are our strength," which oddly, they never used amid rounds of layoffs. Can't imagine why. :-)

Quote Post 4

Re: IBM memo on replacing mouse balls

Dirk B wrote:

Naturally, there was no casual Friday back then. Goldman Sachs, being the uptight bunch they are, had a seasonal casual Friday only. Not a year-round thing while I was still working there. I was never more happy to get laid off from a company. Management's favorite mantra was "Our people are our strength," which oddly, they never used amid rounds of layoffs. Can't imagine why. :-)

...because they have mouse balls.

Quote Post 5