1 Topic by Dirk B. (edited by Dirk B. 2019-07-07 22:31:04)

Topic: Ambiguity with pronouns - Writing Craft

I'm wondering what others think of my use of pronouns in the following excerpt from my WIP:

Romano said, “Connor, you’d better run along. Eucharistic Adoration is on hold until we can secure that door.”
Nnamani told him, “I’ve enjoyed hearing about your pilgrimage, Connor. I suspect we’ll meet again.”
Connor smiled.
Nnamani blessed him and he left. The cardinal then told Romano, “I’m going to assign two experienced exorcists to the orphanage, Father. Their role will be to protect him from further threats."

There are two pronouns that are technically ambiguous as to who I'm referring to. I rely on context to help the reader sort it out. The first could refer to either Romano or Connor. The second could refer to either Nnamani or Connor. Is the context sufficient to sort it out, or should I be more explicit?

Thanks
Dirk

Quote Post 1

Re: Ambiguity with pronouns - Writing Craft

Easily fixed, actually:

Nnamani told Connor, “I’ve enjoyed hearing about your pilgrimage. I suspect we’ll meet again.”
Connor smiled, bowed at Nnamani's blessing, and left.
The cardinal told Romano, "I'm...

You absolutely want to avoid pronouns (male or female) that refer to two different males or females in the same sentence. In your example, you have too many males for the pronouns to be clear. But those are easy to fix most times.

Hope this helps!

Quote Post 2

Re: Ambiguity with pronouns - Writing Craft

That's great. Thank you, Seabrass.

Quote Post 3