Topic: Oh no! What should I do?

Hi

I was wondering if anyone has any advice. My story, along with its character arcs and three major disasters: a quarter of the way through, half the way through, and three quarters of the way though, ends up being spread over four of five books, rather than the originally planned one book.

Therefore I need to move a few more POVs out of book one and give the main character, Aedre, two new disasters (and move her first one in at the end).

All of my main reviewers have read lots of the chapters already, so won't get any points to re-review the chapter with new content.

Should I just take my whole book down and start from the beginning again, having to get new points to post each chapter up?

Why do I think the answer is yes hmm

For those who have been following it. I'm going to take the New Biluvians and Noirplasts out and introduce them in book two instead. Aedre's going to end up going to prison for smoking pot, then being sold to a brothel, but luckily giving the Mafia boss, Yamdar, all of her savings to get her freedom back-that'll be the first disaster (skint)

The second disaster: After quitting her job, is too skint to fly back, so is sent to a slave labour camp in Giok. However, the Indites see her as a Goddess with her Unuion teaching skills, so she is treated well, which she doesn't like, because she was actually helping the slaves and now teaches tourists.

Third disaster: Mosh finds her and tells her that her x-boss, Bhaltair killed his wife, her friend, Nabi and is on the run and likely after her.

The only characters I'm going to have in book one are Aedre, Kdot's beloved YuFu, Noomy Foster, Yamdar, and Sharr Shuvuu. They are all linked.

...................

Therefore, the structure of book one is going to be really different and hopefully easier for the reader to follow.

Quote Post 1

Re: Oh no! What should I do?

If you have enough points to start a v2 you'll probably attract new reviewers who might take notice that you've taken the time to do an overhaul. I find that's usually the case when I do a v2. Also leaves past work up so people can compare if there's any value to you for that

Quote Post 2

Re: Oh no! What should I do?

Bear in mind, if you re-use the existing chapters, no one will get the new-work notifications

Quote Post 3

Re: Oh no! What should I do?

Noomy is heads & above the strongest character in the above list. Aedre is really going to have to bask in the spotlight to not get outshone by her. I mean she's kind of wind in the willows until she develops the gumption to quit her job where the guy's mistreating her. So when you juxtapose her to Yufu or Noomy, it will really stand out.

That said, your overview looks like a stronger story

Structurally, it's better that Nabi doesn't die off-screen. If you can't get her + Aedre + Bhaltair in the same area for her to die, consider having a hitman do the job on Bhaltair's behalf, or, even Nabi make the final transmission to Aedre just before the end. If you use the final transmission bit it's hard to get her killed off with finality - we'll be stuck thinking maybe she escaped after the screen went dark

Depending on your story's needs, you might have Aedre sent somewhere worse than a brothel because Noomy already has that part licked. Wait... what's worse than a brothel?? Hmm... they make her be a nurse in a place quarantined with contagious disease that is only a matter of time before she contracts it. (Maybe this disease turns people into Noirplasts?), If you keep the brothel part for her, just bear in mind Noomy will be far ahead of her (in the sex-slave trade) by the time she ends up there, so what new does she bring to the concept?

Quote Post 4

Re: Oh no! What should I do?

Thank so much for your time Kdot.

Even though I initially felt gutted about having to get the points all over again, you're right, it is a good thing.

AEdre will take the blame for the lump of hash the police find and be sent to the exact place which Noomy Foster's daughter, Yasmin, ends up in. It is owned by Yamdar, who rules the Yiksaan mafia, and hence, the place YuFu (now Tyezol) lives.

So when it comes to the time, in book two when Aedre can travel and shapeshift (via quantum physics mixed with shamanism), the fist place she'll want to save sex slaves from will be Yamdar's Yiksaan brothel, and coincidentally saves YuFu/Tyezol and Yasmin (Noomy Foster's daughter).

That's why I'm going to send her there.
Here's a rough layout, sorry it's hard to understand.
I'm adding new chapters about Noomy Foster, Sharr Shuvuu (owl guardian), Yamdar, and YuFu/Tyezol

New Chapter Layout: Book 1

Chapter 1: Aedre 1
Chapter 2: YuFu 1
Chapter 3: Aedre 2
Chapter 4: YuFu 2
Chapter 5: Aedre 3 (add how she boasts about going to get an aura shield next week and about the chimney, too)
Chapter 6: Noomy 1
Chapter 7: Aedre 4 (new, prison, Yiksaan, free, mention Mosh say, “hey, at least you won’t miss your AirDome apt this weekend and can contact your Dad)
Chapter 8: Noomy 2
Chapter 9: Aedre 5 (was 4 airdome, add bit about slaves during her breakdown, too)
Chapter 10: Yamdar 1
Chapter 11: Sharr 1
Chapter 12: Aedre 6 (lets say this is about three months later and she’s feeling better and body getting trim, saving money, thinks about Sharr, too, was 5 Shilat and lose job. Have to add to it)
Chapter 13: Noomy 3 (talks to witch again, witch confused about red-headed faerie)
Chapter 14: Sharr 2 (clay people say she must remain Bubo queen because a saviour will free millions of slaves and if she’s not entwined, millions may also die)
Chapter 15: Aedre 7 (new, slave camp in Giok..wants to help other slaves but is suddenly treated well for being a guru)
Chapter 16: YuFu 3/Tyezol 1 (change last part, so instead of helping get diamonds, he has to see in a shipment of drugs)
Chapter 17: Aedre 8 enjoys being a guru, but cannot heal. Mosh tells her of Nabi’s death.
Chapter 18: Yamdar’s men do not succeed in getting the diamonds and the rich Sattchi priest buys the exoskeletons for a much cheaper price because of competition??
Chapter 19: Needs to tell Aedre to go to haunted river, but Aedre never comes
Chapter 20: Aedre goes mental

Thanks again, Kdot, for heads up on that, if that idiom makes sense.

Quote Post 5

Re: Oh no! What should I do?

with fewer centres of attention I can now spot an extraneous "Rachel" in chapter 3, so this is progress.

Re Layout:
-Your approach of giving Aedre the chapter 3 spot makes sense but it's a bit of a downer for Noomy. On the other hand I visualized this with Noomy in chp 3 but then it felt scattered. I'll fill out this thought a bit more once I hit chp 6
-I don't remember Sharr
-Only 3 Yufu's. What about 18... can that be Yufu? What about Yamdar -- Does he need POV or is there a way to make Yufu be his narrator? (I don't say this only because. Instead, visualize Star Wars trying to tell Jabba POV. The casual reader might ask, 'can this be told from Han or Leia POV?'. Of course I say this in ignorance of Yamdar's greater role.

Quote Post 6

Re: Oh no! What should I do?

It looks good Rayner! I'm going to kick it off from the beginning again, and see if I can trace the story itself this time. There's such a lot of imagination in your writing, it will be good to see it allowed to show itself for it's true purpose, to tell the story. If you had to say whose story it was, whose would it be? I think you need to decide on your main protagonist from the start-- I'm assuming Aedre as she is constant through the book?

Quote Post 7