Topic: When Insults Had Class

My friend Dorothy A.Day shared this with me. I wonder how many of you will get them.

When Insults Had Class...
   
 
These glorious insults are from an era “ before” the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
 
   
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”
"That depends, Sir, " said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
   
"He had delusions of adequacy ."
-Walter Kerr
   
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill
   
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
-Clarence Darrow
   
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
-William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
   
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
-Moses Hadas
   
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
-Mark Twain
   
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
-Oscar Wilde
   
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one."
-George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
   
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
-Winston Churchill, in response
   
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
-Stephen Bishop
   
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
-John Bright
   
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
-Irvin S. Cobb
   
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
-Samuel Johnson
   
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
- Paul Keating
   
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
-Charles, Count Talleyrand
   
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
-Forrest Tucker
   
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
-Mark Twain
   
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
-Mae West
   
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
-Oscar Wilde
   
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."
-Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
   
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
-Billy Wilder
   
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I'm afraid this wasn't it."
-Groucho Marx

Quote Post 1

Re: When Insults Had Class

Janet Taylor-Perry wrote:

I wonder how many of you will get them.

Golly, I reckon most of 'em just went clear over mah head. Do you s'pose you could 'splain 'em to us all?

Quote Post 2

Re: When Insults Had Class

Chesterton to Shaw: To look at you, anyone would think there was a famine in England.

Shaw to Chesterton: And to look at you, anyone would think that you caused it.

Quote Post 3

4 Reply by Dill Carver (edited by Dill Carver 2017-11-03 10:25:20)

Re: When Insults Had Class

Q.X.T.Rhazmeulen wrote:
Janet Taylor-Perry wrote:

I wonder how many of you will get them.

Golly, I reckon most of 'em just went clear over mah head. Do you s'pose you could 'splain 'em to us all?

smile

I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.

Quote Post 4

Re: When Insults Had Class

Janet Taylor-Perry wrote:

My friend Dorothy A.Day shared this with me. I wonder how many of you will get them.

Is this line an example of when insults didn't have class?

Quote Post 5

6 Reply by Q.X.T.Rhazmeulen (edited by Q.X.T.Rhazmeulen 2017-11-03 11:00:21)

Re: When Insults Had Class

Dill Carver wrote:
Q.X.T.Rhazmeulen wrote:
Janet Taylor-Perry wrote:

I wonder how many of you will get them.

Golly, I reckon most of 'em just went clear over mah head. Do you s'pose you could 'splain 'em to us all?

smile

I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.

No doubt you are wasting both on your literary pursuits. smile

Quote Post 6

Re: When Insults Had Class

Q.X.T.Rhazmeulen wrote:
Dill Carver wrote:
Q.X.T.Rhazmeulen wrote:

Golly, I reckon most of 'em just went clear over mah head. Do you s'pose you could 'splain 'em to us all?

smile

I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.

No doubt you are wasting both on your literary pursuits. smile

Well, at least you were able to spare us some of your own precious time in order to humiliate yourself in public. smile

Quote Post 7

8 Reply by Q.X.T.Rhazmeulen (edited by Q.X.T.Rhazmeulen 2017-11-03 12:12:40)

Re: When Insults Had Class

Dill, um, wow. Could it be that you really don't get it? That's scary. And more than a little ironic. Well, do continue to feel victorious if it'll help you sleep at night. Toodles.

Quote Post 8

Re: When Insults Had Class

Woman to Winston Churchill: "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd have to give you poison."

Churchill's response: "My dear, if I were your husband, I would gladly take it."

Quote Post 9

Re: When Insults Had Class

Lady Astor: Mr Churchill, you are drunk.
Churchill: And you madam, are ugly. But I shall be sober tomorrow....

Quote Post 10

Re: When Insults Had Class

Dill Carver wrote:
Q.X.T.Rhazmeulen wrote:

Dill, um, wow. Could it be that you really don't get it? That's scary. And more than a little ironic. Well, do continue to feel victorious if it'll help you sleep at night. Toodles.

Wow! What was that?  It whooshed over your head.

Janet Taylor-Perry was right about you, at least

Quote Post 11

Re: When Insults Had Class

Dill Carver wrote:
Dill Carver wrote:
Q.X.T.Rhazmeulen wrote:

Dill, um, wow. Could it be that you really don't get it? That's scary. And more than a little ironic. Well, do continue to feel victorious if it'll help you sleep at night. Toodles.

Wow! What was that?  It whooshed over your head.

Janet Taylor-Perry was right about you, at least

Dill, go back and look at my original post, the one you inexplicably derided, and ask yourself of if I'm being serious or sarcastic. I think if you do that you'll see we're actually on the same team. In the meantime, peace to you. Let's not have any hard feelings over what I can only imagine is a misunderstanding.

Quote Post 12

13 Reply by vern (edited by vern 2017-11-03 23:18:13)

Re: When Insults Had Class

Q.X.T.Rhazmeulen wrote:
Dill Carver wrote:
Dill Carver wrote:

Wow! What was that?  It whooshed over your head.

Janet Taylor-Perry was right about you, at least

Dill, go back and look at my original post, the one you inexplicably derided, and ask yourself of if I'm being serious or sarcastic. I think if you do that you'll see we're actually on the same team. In the meantime, peace to you. Let's not have any hard feelings over what I can only imagine is a misunderstanding.

Having looked back over all the above "insults" related to this post -- except the most recent ones to which I'm responding -- they appear to be in the vein of tongue-in-cheek or sarcasm followed by a smiley face for reinforcement of words which can be misconstrued in the best of circumstances. Just an observation. Take care. Vern

Edited to add "appear to be" for clarification.

Quote Post 13

14 Reply by Dill Carver (edited by Dill Carver 2017-11-04 01:05:33)

Re: When Insults Had Class

Q.X.T.Rhazmeulen wrote:
Dill Carver wrote:
Dill Carver wrote:

Wow! What was that?  It whooshed over your head.

Janet Taylor-Perry was right about you, at least

Dill, go back and look at my original post, the one you inexplicably derided, and ask yourself of if I'm being serious or sarcastic. I think if you do that you'll see we're actually on the same team. In the meantime, peace to you. Let's not have any hard feelings over what I can only imagine is a misunderstanding.

inexplicably derided?

I was just exchanging examples of classy insults - tit for tat, one knocking on from the other, on a completely abstract and non-personal basis. I thought that was the game. Had no idea you'd break out and take the insults literally/personally

Quote Post 14

15 Reply by Dill Carver (edited by Dill Carver 2017-11-04 01:05:56)

Re: When Insults Had Class

I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I honestly thought that you already knew.

Quote Post 15

Re: When Insults Had Class

Dill Carver wrote:

I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I honestly thought that you already knew.

My only intent for commenting on this is to say that it could well join the list of classic insults listed at the beginning of this thread. PC or not, I literally laughed out loud and nary a cuss word was uttered. That is a literary feat extraordinaire imho. Take care. Vern

Quote Post 16

17 Reply by Dill Carver (edited by Dill Carver 2017-11-04 03:14:25)

Re: When Insults Had Class

vern wrote:
Dill Carver wrote:

I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I honestly thought that you already knew.

My only intent for commenting on this is to say that it could well join the list of classic insults listed at the beginning of this thread. PC or not, I literally laughed out loud and nary a cuss word was uttered. That is a literary feat extraordinaire imho. Take care. Vern

I can't claim it Vern. I think it has been commonly used before; or a variant of it. I was paraphrasing from memory.  The 'You're so stupid that you are incapable of realizing just how stupid you actually are.' genre of taunt/insult smile

Quote Post 17

Re: When Insults Had Class

Dill Carver wrote:
vern wrote:
Dill Carver wrote:

I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I honestly thought that you already knew.

My only intent for commenting on this is to say that it could well join the list of classic insults listed at the beginning of this thread. PC or not, I literally laughed out loud and nary a cuss word was uttered. That is a literary feat extraordinaire imho. Take care. Vern

I can't claim it Vern. I think it has been commonly used before; or a variant of it. I was paraphrasing from memory.  The 'You're so stupid that you are incapable of realizing just how stupid you actually are.' genre of taunt/insult smile

The best part about these classic insults is that they should not offend unless the recipient accepts them as truth; wherein they merely become a statement of fact. Anyway, we need more imagination in the present such as these from the past present. Take care. Vern

Quote Post 18

Re: When Insults Had Class

I vaguely recall a line from a review of a best-selling book. It went something like this, It has created a much-needed vacant slot in my ideal library.
Memphis Trace

Quote Post 19

Re: When Insults Had Class

Janet Taylor-Perry wrote:

   
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
-William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

Ernest Hemingway: "Poor Faulkner. He thinks big emotions come from big words."

Quote Post 20

Re: When Insults Had Class

Mark Twain on Jane Austen: "Every time I read Pride and Prejudice, I want to dig Jane Austen up and hit her over the skull with her own shin bone."

Quote Post 21

Re: When Insults Had Class

"Women have become so highly educated... that nothing should surprise us nowadays, except happy marriages." —  Oscar Wilde

"I am sick to death of cleverness. Everybody is clever nowadays. You can't go anywhere without meeting clever people. The thing has become an absolute public nuisance." —  Oscar Wilde

"What do I think of Western civilization? I think it would be a very good idea." —  Mahatma Gandhi

“He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.” ― P.G. Wodehouse

"I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal." — Jane Austen


https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/9f/77/81/9f778108726c98f0fdc1ff0266267810.jpg

Quote Post 22

Re: When Insults Had Class

Dill Carver wrote:
Q.X.T.Rhazmeulen wrote:

Dill, go back and look at my original post, the one you inexplicably derided, and ask yourself of if I'm being serious or sarcastic. I think if you do that you'll see we're actually on the same team. In the meantime, peace to you. Let's not have any hard feelings over what I can only imagine is a misunderstanding.

inexplicably derided?

I was just exchanging examples of classy insults - tit for tat, one knocking on from the other, on a completely abstract and non-personal basis. I thought that was the game. Had no idea you'd break out and take the insults literally/personally

Okay. I didn't get that, smiley notwithstanding. My apologies if I took it personally and it wasn't meant so. As for my retort, I'm sure you put your crayons to much better use than your literary pursuits. smile (<< meant sincerley) Take care.

Quote Post 23

Re: When Insults Had Class

Q.X.T.Rhazmeulen wrote:
Dill Carver wrote:
Q.X.T.Rhazmeulen wrote:

Dill, go back and look at my original post, the one you inexplicably derided, and ask yourself of if I'm being serious or sarcastic. I think if you do that you'll see we're actually on the same team. In the meantime, peace to you. Let's not have any hard feelings over what I can only imagine is a misunderstanding.

inexplicably derided?

I was just exchanging examples of classy insults - tit for tat, one knocking on from the other, on a completely abstract and non-personal basis. I thought that was the game. Had no idea you'd break out and take the insults literally/personally

Okay. I didn't get that, smiley notwithstanding. My apologies if I took it personally and it wasn't meant so. As for my retort, I'm sure you put your crayons to much better use than your literary pursuits. :) (<< meant sincerley) Take care.

Two wrongs don't make a right—but three lefts do.
Memphis Trace

Quote Post 24

Re: When Insults Had Class

Memphis Trace wrote:

Lady Astor: Mr Churchill, you are drunk.
Churchill: And you madam, are ugly. But I shall be sober tomorrow....

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" written on it...so I said "Implants?"
Memphis Trace

Quote Post 25