Topic: Question about Voice and First Person

Okay, I tried to write this a hundred ways, but I'm not coherent today. So I'm just going to give a specific instance.

I'm writing in first person. The line is:

I stood in the shadows and watched the absurd scene before me.

Several reviewers have suggested I cut the word 'absurd' out and let the reader decide. My problem with doing this is...the reader might not think it's absurd and the MC definitely does. I'm going to come to areas like this many times in this story where the MC views things a certain way and the reader might not agree with her. I understand the concept of show not tell and letting the reader decide how a thing is. Is there another way to handle this?

Thanks,

Bimmy

Quote Post 1

Re: Question about Voice and First Person

Don't cut the word, Bimmy. I see this out of context, but I have a feeling that you've woven this word/sentence into part of a description of a a given scene. If you've described the scene properly, even the reader might see it as absurd.

~Tom

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Re: Question about Voice and First Person

I don't write in first person, but the same problem arises in 3rd person. I use a short "tell" when I don't want to slow the scene by showing. The example I ran into was "The admiral bristled." I could have shown bristling, but it was a tense, high octane moment and flowery description wouldn't cut it.

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Re: Question about Voice and First Person

Tom Oldman wrote:

Don't cut the word, Bimmy. I see this out of context, but I have a feeling that you've woven this word/sentence into part of a description of a a given scene. If you've described the scene properly, even the reader might see it as absurd.

~Tom

Hey Tom,

Thanks for the reply. I don't necessary want the scene to be absurd...just want the reader to know the MC things it's absurd.

Bimmy

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Re: Question about Voice and First Person

Norm d'Plume wrote:

I don't write in first person, but the same problem arises in 3rd person. I use a short "tell" when I don't want to slow the scene by showing. The example I ran into was "The admiral bristled." I could have shown bristling, but it was a tense, high octane moment and flowery description wouldn't cut it.

Hey Norm,

I think that's the perfect place to "tell" is when you don't want to weaken tension or slow down action. In my case, I don't necessary want the scene to be absurd, just want the reader to know the MC thinks it's absurd. So would maybe an italicized thought that its' absurd be better? But to me that seems like more words than needed to get the point across.

Bimmy

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Re: Question about Voice and First Person

bimmy wrote:

Okay, I tried to write this a hundred ways, but I'm not coherent today. So I'm just going to give a specific instance.

I'm writing in first person. The line is:

I stood in the shadows and watched the absurd scene before me.

The problem may be with the word 'absurd.'  If the voice of the character is one of distance, perhaps even of pretentiousness, 'absurd' is okay, but it is at once general and weak---even 'ludicrous' is better for that---whereas a more vigorous voice would say: 'asinine antics of buffoons,' and a young, or perhaps not educated, voice would say 'craziness' or 'silliness.' The major work of writing in 1st is to not let the reader decide and to show that personality of the 1st speaker in the way he/she narrates.

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Re: Question about Voice and First Person

thank you!

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