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From the same writer's site
Sid's family hires a stripper to entertain him in the old folks' home for his birthday.
After she gets down to her nothing-at-all, the stripper whispers in his ear, "Would you like some super sex?"
Sid thinks for a second, then replies, "I'll take the soup."
OK, my joke is not PC. It usually involves ethnic minorities, the other gender, etc. It won't help to substitute "white man," as that will offend The League of White Voters. Nor men. I'll be hearing from Men's Rights groups. At the risk of Ray Bradbury's firemen showing up to burn my books and delete my fires, I'm just going to say, philosophers, as a colleague of mine once said, "You can't f--t in a philosophy department without getting an argument."
There were two philsoophers out hunting during deer season. Bear season had come and gone. The came across tracks. The first philosopher said, "Those are deer trcks." The second one,said, "No, those are bear tracks." His buddy said, "No, deer." "Uh, uh, bear." They kept on arguing until the train came and ran them over. (Wah, wah, wah...)
Hope the League of Blondes doesn't sue me.
In the middle of the night, two blondes come half drunk out of a pub. Suddenly, blonde A grabs blonde B's arm.
Blonde A: "Hey, look out! You almost step on shit."
Blonde B: "It's not shit. It's blackberry jam."
Blonde A stoops, dips a finger into the suspicious product, and takes the finger to her mouth. "Yuk! No. It's shit. It's salty."
Blonde B dips the product too and tries it. "You're drunk! It's sweet. It's blackberry jam. There even are blackberries pieces. What do you think are the little rounded things mixed in it, genius?"
Blonde A dips the thing again and takes the finger to her mouth again, giving an argument why she thinks it's shit. Blonde B does the same, arguing it's blackberry jam. They continue doing so until they eat all of it.
"Do you know something?" Blonde B says still licking her finger. "I think you're right. It's shit. Yuk!"
Blonde A. "I told you. It's good we didn't step on it."
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