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I'm trying to remember how much de Rosa did. Should he jump in a little more with a slip here and there that causes people to wonder? Maybe have him and Connor lock eyes at some point and Connor turns nastily away. De Rosa always goes with the flow. Maybe he should swim against the flow. Or at least go in a different direction than Campagna sometime.

I might be stating things that you've already done but I have a great excuse in that I was on brain fog meds for a while :-)

Comment:
1. Really? Even with the Zombie Nuns and floating Conner? You manage to weave the history, geography, and story quite well. I remember commenting to you that it was not really a vacation of any sort! There was so much stuff going on. I'd have to reread it again but at this point I might respectfully disagree with you.

2. If you mean that the final revelation is about 100% and not a slow build, then you might be right. Conner lying was a flag that bothered me, but I told you about it and now I understand why you never anything with it. Perhaps a couple more things like that might be useful. Just some stuff that would cause increasing large question marks. Maybe he burns his fingers when it picks up the element when the monstrance is knocked over. The near 100% really caught me off guard.  But which is better? And of course, Darth's statement "I am your father." caught the world off guard by 100%. It was great.

Interesting points. I like the added risk factor. Can the smaller vessels use "cables" to recharge the mother ship? Even if it's only a limited charge, it could be useful. Every car (spaceship) should have a set of cables. Can the larger ships recharge others?

I found a paper entitled "Neutrino-antineutrino annihilation around a collapsar".

It has neutrinos, antineutrinos, annihilation, and a collapsing collapsar (star going through gravitational collapsing).

https://articles.adsabs.harvard.edu//fu … 9.000.html

And, apparently, within the cold fusion process you can get neutrinos and antineutrinos emitted. With enough arm waving can you use this to create a car collapse/explosion or a ship collapse/explosion?

I really like fusion because hydrogen is the most common element in the universe. It's a natural energy source.

George FLC

Keep busy Dirk! Thanks.
George

This is just evolution! Survival of the fittest. Be strong, grin, and survive. Canadians might take over some day. A chunk of the US is getting hit as well. I probably won't go to church on Sunday. Online services! Yeah!

Initial comments:
1. Dish? I imagine a big thing hanging off the ship. Also, does the dish always create the hole in front of the dish (ship)? It just seems clumsy or clunky. Remember the cloaking devise the Romulans used? Wasn't it internal to the ship? But you need some external geometry to have this discussion. I would make it sound more streamline.
2. "As you know" seems rather old fashioned or trying to spell it out too much.
3. You wrote: "Therefore, our shields were never designed to work there, leaving our ships’ fourth dimension unprotected.” I ASSUME you mean that the ships 4th dimension is sort of a portal (?). I'm trying to wrap my brain around my own personal 4th dimension.
4. I would spell out π. Pi or pi.
5. Great discussion on trying to explain what's going on. I'm confused though since apparently the blast can skip the shields and appear interior to the ship (?). Your average techno geek might enjoy this.

Good approach. Go for vagueness and don't worry about the details till maybe later. It doesn't add much to the story anyways, does it?

Are there alternatives to hyperspace or does modern math/tech require it? The Wrinkle in Time had a 5th dimensional tesseract. I don't know if that's the same as a wormhole or hyperspace. And CS Lewis in the Chronicles of Narnia used a ring crafted in Atlantis and it took you to a garden that connected to other worlds. At least that's what I remember without looking it up. Star Trek used warp speed.

Did Dune ever explain their drive mechanism?

Is there something else to use? Brainstorm time!!!!

The top is what you wrote. The bottom is what Grammarly suggests:

Welcome!
To follow up on George FLC's comment on grammar, and since I'm mostly lurking these days, here's my minimized lecture on grammar:
Grammar is not just a thing right or wrong. Grammar is a tool of the writer. In English's magnificently rich grammar there are usually many ways to present a structure of ideas. In a complex sentence, we choose which idea deserves the high seat of the main clause, and which ideas should support from subordinate clauses. We decide which modifiers deserve the weight of a relative clause, which justify a prepositional phrase, and which can be budgeted an adjective or adverb, according to how much of the reader's attention we want to spend on each. We order our clauses and sentences with care so that the prose flows smoothly through one topic and into the next, with a minimum of jumping back and forth.

Grammarly
Welcome!
To follow up on George FLC's comment on grammar, and since I'm mostly lurking these days, here's my minimized lecture on grammar:
Grammar is more than just a thing, right or wrong. Grammar is a tool of the writer. In English's magnificently rich grammar, there are usually many ways to present a structure of ideas. In a complex sentence, we choose which idea deserves the high seat of the main clause and which ideas should support from subordinate clauses. We decide which modifiers deserve the weight of a relative clause, which justify a prepositional phrase, and which can be budgeted as an adjective or adverb, according to how much of the reader's attention we want to spend on each. We carefully order our clauses and sentences so that the prose flows smoothly through one topic and into the next, with minimal jumping back and forth.

Please, anyone, tell me what you think.

Well said, have fun.

The best one is The Sweltering. To swelter is common, which is good. Perhaps modifying that somewhat:

The Swelter Smack
The Swelter Belter
The Swelter Smelter