226

(5 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Hey everyone. I've started a radical rewrite of the Tribe, the Town, and the Spirits. Yes, I've changed the title.
1. I want to limit the chapter word count to about 1500 words. This makes for easier reading on the train or in bed before sleeping.
2. I will try to keep the character names per word count to about 2 names/600 words.
3. I want to simplify some items, such as where the demons come from. This one is still tough because I like that a Greek god like Bacchus was a wine god. It's a great god to have relatives to manage saloons. However, I discovered that the Maya had a god of alcoholic beverages (Aken). So, I almost have to mix deities outside of the Cheyenne culture to make some things work.
4. Some name changes are needed.
5. A stern eye must be kept on who might be reading this. Audience is significant.

My first need for help is whether or not God would refer to Satan as Satan or as Lucifer. I start Chapter 1 with Satan and God talking. I assume that almost everyone knows who Lucifer is. And it does sound more sophisticated to me than Satan. I'm really tempted to switch over to Lucifer for Chapter 1. BUT does that mean I should keep it as Lucifer the entire book? Or only when God talks to him.

Thanks for any help.
George FLC

227

(9 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)

Sorry to hear about the med issues. Take your time. I might owe you a reciprocation, so it'll give me time to work on that.

Despite all this - Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

George FLC

228

(309 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Dirk B. wrote:

New naming contest:

I need a name for an island in the Pacific Ocean on which the Libertarian Church is founded in the 24th century, which was originally a tax dodge for the obscenely wealthy (followers of the Greedy Gospel). So far, I've considered Billionaire's Island, Koru Island (named after Jeff Bezos's yacht), and Lord High Admiral Bezos's Island, among others. So far I like the latter best.

Wow. Not Mar-a-Lago in the Caribbean? Just make sure you have a lake on it. Of course, there are probably copyright issues. But I'm conservative so maybe you shouldn't use it.

Hunter's Island? Sounds pretty good but Hunter Biden isn't that rich.

Something along the lines of LABI (Lord Admiral Bezo's Island)?

But go really big - something with Elon Musk as a patron saint. Tesla Atol or something. Tesland? Hmm...

I'd prefer Koru over your last one.

229

(3 replies, posted in Historical Fiction)

Historical Fiction? It would appear so. Please update your profile. It helps to figure out who we can connect with.

230

(4 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)

Thanks Sol.

231

(4 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)

There's an escort service trying to join the site. Is this a good posting to warn everyone, mostly Sol?

George FLC

232

(309 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Dirk B. wrote:

What if there's no space station there either? smile

I just realized the Free Colonies has the same need to explain "What are they free of?" as the Free Stars, but I don't care. The Free Colonies it is, and the adjective will be Colonial: Colonial fleet, Colonial troops, etc., which is a cool word imo.

Dirk

If there is an Imperial Fleet or planet then the reader should be able to say - the Colonial Fleet must be the antithesis of anything Imperial. Also, I thought you would use Freedom troops, Freedom fleet, but Colonial is pretty cool, too.

233

(309 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Dirk B. wrote:

I've tentatively whittled it down to:

The Confederacy - my only concern with this is that readers may be wondering how/if this relates to the US Civil War, which it doesn't
The Eternal Fellowship (of Stars?) - the mantra becomes "For the Fellowship!" - I still like this
The Free Stars - "Freedom!" - this probably requires a bit of explaining early on that it's freedom from the Imperium. It would have been founded shortly after colonization of the stars began, as people left/fled Earth.
The Free Colonies - "Freedom!" - like this a lot; requires no explaining
The Eternal Worlds - "For Eternity!"

My vote is for Free Colonies. This is more generic than Free Stars. What if you're in the middle of an asteroid belt or dust cluster sans star or planets? A space station is all there is and it mines the local region. The designation of colony covers them all.

234

(309 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Kdot wrote:

Picture my last comment like this:

Elon Musk invents a rocket that can reach the nearest habitable planet. We happily scoot over there and meet a race of talking frogs.  How do we introduce ourselves? Earth isn't a republic or much of anything.

Fast forward 100 years and Earth founds a central government and acquires a prefix. Would the Frogees bother changing all their records? Or would they just keep calling us Earthlings?

It would depend on if Earth conquered them and demanded a change in name. Or to be polite, on all legal documents they use the new name but, in the bars, and taverns they still use the old name.

235

(309 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

My favorite is The Free Stars.
There's something awe inspiring about Freedom Troops coming to save me.
And - The Freedom Fleet is almost here! The Imperial Fleet better run now!

Or let's combine a couple...
United Confederacy (UCON). Or United Confederate Stars (UCS). Or perhaps - United Confederacy of Stars (UCOS).
Call them feds for short. I hear the feds are comin'. We better fly outa here.

236

(309 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Thanks, Dirk, I appreciate it.

237

(309 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

The other issue I have is when you form sentences like "The Enduring soldiers are enduring a great deal of suffering." It doesn't feel right. You might have to avoid sentences like this.

238

(309 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Dirk B. wrote:

In addition to getting rid of the word Republic and having my own term, it also eliminates any confusion arising from the fact that my current name (usually shortened to just Republic) is different from the adjective I use (Enduring).

Sorry Dirk, I don't understand this sentence. I'm back on pain meds again, so perhaps, I'm suffering from brain fog.

239

(260 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)

Thomas W. Case wrote:

Hello,

I am new here.  What is the best way to get reviews and navigate this site.  I would like to make the most of my time here.

Thanks,
Thomas W. Case

Hey Thomas,
Welcome aboard. I've learned a great deal about writing on this site. I try to keep track of the tips given to me. Some suggestions:
1. Don't be offended if people make bruising comments. I've had items posted that were blown up. I've also blown up a chapter or two.
2. When someone makes inline comments make sure to comment on a few. I like to know if my comments are what you want. I've changed how I comment based on finding out that some authors aren't worried about every missed comma.
3. The minimum for inline comments 5. Try not to leave only 5 inline comments. I aim for 20 inline comments. Some writers are so good that I have to struggle to get to 20. So, if I give you 30 comments and you only give me 5 then I don't really want to review your work. I'm not that good of a wordsmith.
4. Keep your own backup copies. I lost most, if not all, of my best writing (most corrected) with the crash.
5. I really like brainstorming. So, encourage it by answering what people suggest and don't get brutal with it. Just say something like 'I don't think that'll work'. The best response if you don't really like something might be - I'll ponder that one.
6. I doubt you're another Updyke, Hemmingway, or CS Lewis so be patient and learn.
7. Gather a group of writers who reciprocate your writing. I had about 7 or 8 before the crash.

Welcome and have fun.
George FLC

Historical Fiction seems pretty dead, but I hate to delete it. Would it be possible to add it to the Fantasy/Magic/Sci-fi group? So, we need a huge fiction group that encompasses everything. Is that possible?

241

(12 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)

I'm in, even with one story.

242

(12 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)

Can we enter more than one story?

243

(2 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)

Life is tricky sometimes! Be blessed and come out stronger.

244

(10 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)

Hey Mike, I hope everything goes well for you. God bless.

George FLC

K.dot - you once posted a great discussion on characters/words. It was destroyed with the crash! Can you possibly repost it? Would it be more applicable to the Writing Tips forum? Thanks.

246

(309 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Are you still looking for power names? How about using the Carnot Cycle in a name? The Carnotron! It's not used that I could fine. Just a suggestion.

By Carnot's theorem, it provides an upper limit on the efficiency of any classical thermodynamic engine during the conversion of heat into work, or conversely, the efficiency of a refrigeration system in creating a temperature difference through the application of work to the system.

247

(0 replies, posted in Who wants to get published?)

I'm new to this. So, what is this forum about? I know everyone wants to be published but how is that to be achieved? Please let me know what this forum hopes to help me with this noble goal. Thanks.

George FLC

248

(309 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

njc wrote:

Look up heterojunctions, strained silicon, strained GAs (gallium arsenide), and quantum dots.  Also angled (rotated) graphene layers.

Oh, heck, look up resublimated thiotimoline.  Maybe you can use it smile .

I used to work in the GaAs field. Be careful how you spell it. :-)

And then you have aluminum gallium arsenide (AlGaAs) pronounced al-gas

249

(309 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

LENR is a power generator, but it's based primarily on Weak Nuclear Force. Fusion is based on Strong Nuclear Force.

Hypercapacitor. A hypercap. But that's been taken. So, get fancy. Hypercapbat or Hyperbatcap can be used but I only did a very limited search.

Because of the abundance of hydrogen you have to use some fusion devices. But, what's beyond that? A possible futuristic system might be a black hole generator. That could explain the implosion and explosion. Fusion reactors generate a very tiny black hole.

A hyper-hole-generator?

Perhaps create 2 black holes that circle each other at incredible speeds. The immense gravity waves are converted into usable energy.

A paired-hyper-hole-generator?

250

(309 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Dirk B. wrote:

A further wrinkle is that interstellar drones have stardrives, meaning they need something powerful enough to charge their atreidite. If I were to say that a fusion generator could charge atreidite, then all spaceships could presumably be fitted with a stardrive since all ships have either a fusion generator or a powertron. I don't want that, though, since I definitely need ships that don't have a stardrive and, therefore, can't jump.

My head is beginning to spin a little. I will try explaining what I think might work. This will work if the fusion system drives the entire ship including the powertron which is step up mechanism. There are step down power transformers. Why not have a step-up power system power the powertron which powers the stardrive? (I used 'power' 4x in that sentence!) It takes up so much volume that smaller ships can't have a complete system.

I don't know if this makes sense but in the spirit of brainstorming, I'll post it.