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Still here dirk, though I haven’t read any reviews. Wedding is on May 11th and I’ve been loaded with planning, and haven’t been able to write between school work and my upcoming ceremony. Once i finish up I’ll be back to peak activity. Until then though

From one newish member to a new member, you're gonna like it here. Great place to workshop, and you may even make some friends along the way. Welcome!

Yeah that clears it up, its much better with that additional piece in 1.1. I would still say there is room to build atmosphere an tension, maybe not having full on panic in 2.1 by Romano. I think the fog creature could still benefit from additional 'creepy' encounters before you dive into straight up dangerous. But if you keep it as it is, there really isn't anything wrong with it. Do what you think is best, I look forward to another chapter.

Haha thanks dirk, I remember reading that thread. I know what it’s like when no matter how much you tweak something it just doesn’t sit right... until it does. Very frustrating sometimes!

Put out a new book cover, with a little more effort involved. Let me know what you think.

Yeah wow that went crazy. Can't we all be civil? I'm sure our views are different but name calling is just not mature at all.

Back to the subject of bible verses:

If people use it in books a lot (I wouldn't know) then I would say you're good just following the trend, it seems to work. I can also say as a Catholic it doesn't bother me if things are shorthanded, we get the jist. sometimes the whole thing isn't necessary. Looking forward to the next chapter though!

I don’t know how people would feel about making a new prayer from the old ones. Verns idea is good but may look/read weird in practice. How long are we talking about? Also 3 prayers in a single chapter is a lot, but how are they spaced through the chapters? Is there a place where I can read the chapters you haven’t put up yet so I could take a closer look?

Alright. This is very useful thank you.

Well I got the revised chapter 1 out, but now I've run into another issue. I received a review from Temple, who says that I'm still not giving believable dialogue. The first time I wrote I understood the argument, but with the rewrite I feel it is much more natural than my original, and even if it isn't exactly perfect I'm finding it difficult to believe that none of the dialogue or internal thoughts are believable. I quit trying to sound overly intelligent in the dialogue and I noticed the improvement, but now I just don't understand what could be the issue with the dialogue. Any suggestions on how to get better dialogue or internal thoughts would be helpful.

So I have a question I hope you guys can give me some advice with. Also good to get back to it after all the Christmas breaks etc. hope y’all had a good one. Still using my phone to type so sorry for any odd sentences/autocorrect errors. So with everyone’s reviews (which all have been great thank you all so much) I recognize one major area I’m struggling in is creating characters with major flaws to be fixed over the course of the book without making them unlikable. I think nearly everyone has commented on Henry to some degree about how he isn’t interesting/likable. But I don’t want him being so great at the start. I want him to show signs of intelligence and humanity, but I also want the character to struggle with cowardice and a lack of purpose. One of the major themes of the Nobel will be the theme of being your own man/ finding your own purpose, and how someone who could be considered intellectually gifted could be plagued with cowardice, greed, and a lack of purpose and how the MC eventually crawls out of that hole. Any advice on how I’m failing to do this/where I could improve to succeed at this?