Topic: point of view problem

Hi. I was wondering what other authors suggest for the following POV scenario. I have two MCs, each of whom hears a voice in his head claiming to be God. I alternate between the two MCs, chapter by chapter. As long as there is only one MC in a chapter, the voice of God is obviously talking with that MC. The God heard by these two MCs is giving potentially conflicting advice, which is part of the mystery in the book. In other words, is it the same God talking to both, or are the two MCs simply mentally ill?

The problem with the above comes up when the two MCs are finally together in the same chapter. Since I'm using third person limited, the POV is only ever with one of the two MCs at a time, even when they're together. The "God" speaking to the MC in those chapters is always the one associated with the POV character. I currently use that to toy with the reader, leaving him/her wondering what God is saying to the other MC at the same time as when He is speaking to the POV MC.

I'm told that limiting God's dialogue to just the POV MC is sometimes confusing. The argument is that since God is in the scene, the reader should hear everything God says in those scenes, regardless of which MC he is talking to. I should add that most of my reviewers didn't have a problem with limiting God's dialogue to just the POV MC.

If you followed all of that, the question is: should I write those chapters from the POV of both MCs (i.e., switch to omniscient POV for those chapters) and show what God is telling both MCs at the same time?

Thanks,
Dirk

Quote Post 1

Re: point of view problem

That's a toughy. Why don't you try one chapter like that and see what kind of feedback you get? You could do something like, While Apollo heard, "Whatever," Joseph argued with God about, "Whatever else." I honestly haven't had a problem with you POVs.

Quote Post 2

Re: point of view problem

Keep the POV as you have - Apollo or Joseph. "God" is the voice they hear. Anything else is head-hopping and too confusing. If it's important to know what the other MC heard, write a chapter from their POV and focus on the internal conversation. It would be an interesting experiment, I think.

Quote Post 3

Re: point of view problem

First off, it's your story, so split God's voice any way you like - only one MC at a time or both in the same chapter. What difference does it make anyway? As long as you identify which God it is, then it is no different than adding another character. Simply make it clear Who is speaking. If you can distinguish between two MC's then you can distinguish between the two Gods in the same way; that is what speaker tags and modifiers are for. Let the gods speak how and when you wish - after all, You are the one true God for your story. Take care. Vern

Quote Post 4

5 Reply by Charles_F_Bell (edited by Charles_F_Bell 2015-04-25 00:04:50)

Re: point of view problem

You could affect God with a different personality for each MC by different speech patterns and such like. I'm thinking of the common scenario of the devil on the left shoulder and an angel on the right shoulder which would be two "gods" for one MC, but in my opinion if you really want to impress  the reader that it is *not* the very same God giving different advice to the two MC's, it is mandatory that the God(s) have different personalities.  Your idea is a very good. I might steal it.

Quote Post 5

Re: point of view problem

I have seen stories where God was given pet names, like Rover and Fido, which couldn't possibly be human.  That works for animal lovers.  Whatever you decide to do, make sure it doesn't become confusing to the reader.  That's where tnbw comes in--reader feedback.   If the reader can't handle it, he/she won't read it, and they will be less inclined to choose (buy) your book next time.  There goes all your hard work.  Just grit your teeth and go for it!  JP

Quote Post 6

Re: point of view problem

Thanks, all. My "two" Gods are intended to have somewhat different personalities, just enough to keep the reader guessing, although not enough that you would notice in the span of one chapter (God only has a few lines of dialogue most of the time). I toyed with giving the two Gods different names (e.g., Dieu and Dios, from French and Spanish), but that made it seem like they were definitely two different entities, which is not an impression I want to give.

I'll probably keep with one POV and one God at a time. I have a number of dual-MC chapters still to come, so more opportunities to experiment.

Thanks.
Dirk

Quote Post 7