Topic: paragraph usage

I've noticed a few different authors on the site using different rules to break up paragraphs, especially when it's mixed with dialogue. Following is from one of my chapters (with paragraph numbers for clarity):

     1. Next, Joseph exited the bathroom, set the weapon back to full power, and fired at the glass booth over the head of the remaining guard. It exploded in a shower of glass, momentarily stunning the guard. Joseph quickly reset the weapon to stun, then fired repeatedly at the man until he was sure this guard was unconscious as well. He called to his fellow slaves and said, “Everyone, Paul and I are leaving. If you want out of here, we can escort you.”
     2. Paul and the others came running.
     3. At Joseph’s direction, they carried the unconscious man into the bathroom, stripped both guards of their uniforms, and placed them in restraints. Joseph and Paul quickly put the uniforms on, grabbed the rifles, and led the others out of the warehouse. “Try not to act suspicious,” Joseph told everyone. “It’s a simple slave escort. Nothing more.”
     4. The group walked past multiple open warehouses where other guarded slaves loaded and unloaded ships.
     5. “So far, so good,” Joseph said.

Should the sentence in (1) starting with "He called to his fellow slaves..." be a separate paragraph? It's still a continuation of Joseph's actions. Does it come down to stylistic preference?

Same question for the dialogue in (3) that starts with "Try not to act suspicious..."

Should paragraphs (2) and (3) be combined? What about (4) and (5)?

I'd be interested in hearing as many opinions as possible.

Thanks.
Dirk

Quote Post 1

Re: paragraph usage

Thanks, Kenny.

Interesting thing about paragraph 2: It's a non-verbal response to Joseph's dialogue. The rule I've read for that one is that a nonverbal response should be treated the same as a verbal one. Go figure.

Dirk

Quote Post 2

Re: paragraph usage

What would you do with paragraph 1, Kenny? Would you split off Joseph's line of dialogue from the rest of that paragraph?
Dirk

Quote Post 3

4 Reply by cobber (edited by cobber 2015-01-26 17:04:31)

Re: paragraph usage

I was always taught that when there is a dialogue from a new speaker, it requires a new a paragraph. So, in paragraph 1, this would initiate a new paragaph:

“Everyone, Paul and I are leaving. If you want out of here, we can escort you.”

This is how I would have written this:

  1. Next, Joseph exited the bathroom, set the weapon back to full power, and fired at the glass booth over the head of the remaining guard. It exploded in a shower of glass, momentarily stunning the guard. Joseph quickly reset the weapon to stun, then fired repeatedly at the man until he was sure this guard was unconscious as well. He called to his fellow slaves.
     2. “Everyone, Paul and I are leaving. If you want out of here, we can escort you.”
     3.  Paul and the others came running. At Joseph’s direction, they carried the unconscious man into the bathroom, stripped both guards of their uniforms, and placed them in restraints. Joseph and Paul quickly put the uniforms on, grabbed the rifles, and led the others out of the warehouse.
     4. “Try not to act suspicious,” Joseph told everyone. “It’s a simple slave escort. Nothing more.” The group walked past multiple open warehouses where other guarded slaves loaded and unloaded ships. “So far, so good,” Joseph said.

I could be wrong though.

Quote Post 4

Re: paragraph usage

Dirk, your paragraphs are fine.  Just remember that the action in the paragraph should be related to the speaker of the dialogue. And, yes, once the dialogue is delivered and the action changes, you need a new paragraph.

Quote Post 5

Re: paragraph usage

Thanks Dirk. You had the exact same question I just had in another one of my groups and you guys answered it for me. Appreciate it. I don't have to wait for the moderator now.

Quote Post 6

Re: paragraph usage

Norm d'Plume wrote:

I've noticed a few different authors on the site using different rules to break up paragraphs, especially when it's mixed with dialogue. Following is from one of my chapters (with paragraph numbers for clarity):

     1. Next, Joseph exited the bathroom, set the weapon back to full power, and fired at the glass booth over the head of the remaining guard. It exploded in a shower of glass, momentarily stunning the guard. Joseph quickly reset the weapon to stun, then fired repeatedly at the man until he was sure this guard was unconscious as well. He called to his fellow slaves and said, “Everyone, Paul and I are leaving. If you want out of here, we can escort you.”
     2. Paul and the others came running.
     3. At Joseph’s direction, they carried the unconscious man into the bathroom, stripped both guards of their uniforms, and placed them in restraints. Joseph and Paul quickly put the uniforms on, grabbed the rifles, and led the others out of the warehouse. “Try not to act suspicious,” Joseph told everyone. “It’s a simple slave escort. Nothing more.”
     4. The group walked past multiple open warehouses where other guarded slaves loaded and unloaded ships.
     5. “So far, so good,” Joseph said.

Should the sentence in (1) starting with "He called to his fellow slaves..." be a separate paragraph? It's still a continuation of Joseph's actions. Does it come down to stylistic preference?

Same question for the dialogue in (3) that starts with "Try not to act suspicious..."

Should paragraphs (2) and (3) be combined? What about (4) and (5)?

I'd be interested in hearing as many opinions as possible.

Thanks.
Dirk

The easiest way to rid your writing of any POV/perspective confusion is to always provide a separate paragraph when the subject/object/dialogue changes from one person/topic to another person/topic. This may result in a sort of choppy and fatiguing experience for the reader and may then indicate an overall flaw in the writing style. [IMHO, due to avoidance of good complex sentences that will handle multiple topics in relation to each other at one time.] You have done that perspective change by paragraph change perfectly well. That this is the *best* way of writing a novel is a matter of taste: unambiguous versus elaborate, nuanced style is a matter of opinion and to a degree genre-dependent. Sci-fi/action/thriller is generally written in the safe way and not in an elaborate way because boys and men are literal-minded, rather than laterally-thinking, for the most part, and thus simple is better.

Quote Post 7

Re: paragraph usage

Charles_F_Bell wrote:

Sci-fi/action/thriller is generally written in the safe way and not in an elaborate way because boys and men are literal-minded, rather than laterally-thinking, for the most part, and thus simple is better.

I resemble that remark. :-)

Thanks, Charles.
Dirk

Quote Post 8