Another change I plan to make to book one is that, rather than Connor getting sick without the weapon initially, then seemingly fine once he has it, then megalomaniacal until he's cured at Capernaum, it would be a lot simpler if it was a simple progression from normal to evil to cured. But, that seems rather similar to Frodo and the One Ring, where Frodo grows sicker and more paranoid the longer he wears it, until the volcano when he finally puts it on, until Gollum frees Frodo of it by biting off his finger. In my case, two of my characters (Moses and Antonio) snatch the dagger away.
Key differences between the two are:
- Frodo was clearly a protagonist right from the beginning
- Connor is the hidden antagonist
- The One Ring is a supernatural weapon imbued with Sauron's evil, actively trying to get back to its master
- The dagger is also a supernatural weapon, which in theory, is demonic and created by the Antichrist to stab Connor and introduce a poison that will turn him into a servant of evil, so it seems evil throughout the book
- You don't learn until the end that it was actually created by God the Father for Connor to decide the Last Challenge; thus it's a holy weapon
- The One Ring cannot safely be worn by others and must be destroyed, which can only be done at Mount Doom
- The dagger was supposedly imbued with a spiritual poison in the first draft (which I may change to a more flexible "demonic" poison); it's something people can safely touch (Father Romano, Father Bianchi, and Connor all do so), and they're reluctant to destroy it because they don't know the impact on Connor
- In reality, the dagger cannot be destroyed
- Frodo actually fell under the spell of the ring
- Connor faked falling under the dagger's spell
- Frodo is freed of the ring at Mount Doom but never fully cured
- Connor is "cured" at Capernaum by swallowing water from the Sea of Galilee
- The One Ring is very important to the plot as it's evil and would allow Sauron to take physical form if he gets it, turning Middle Earth to darkness
- The dagger is far less important in book one as it merely determines if Connor falls under the spell of evil; granted the role of the Holy Emissary will be played up as very important, but as an unknown character biblically speaking, the Holy Emissary could fall to darkness, and the Second Coming with all its trimmings would still occur
- even once it's known that the dagger is a holy weapon, it's still not nearly as important to the overall plot as the One Ring, although a dagger that can maim Christ would be a big deal to my target audience, but that would only happen at the end of book three assuming it ever did
- I'm sure there are other differences, but given all of the above, I think I'm safe to simplify/streamline mine; and if not, that's what do-overs are for :-)
Before:
He whittled the end of a fallen branch with the Antichrist’s demonic dagger, recently used by one of that tyrant’s minions to stab Connor. Its addictive poison still flowed through his veins and sickened him, like withdrawal from the fangs of a powerful addiction, whenever he strayed too far from the heinous weapon. There could be no doubt it sought to master him.
After:
He whittled the end of a fallen branch with the Antichrist’s dagger, which the youth had come by honestly enough – from a stab wound to his gut. With the weapon’s poisonous tentacles spreading insidiously throughout his body, seeking to enslave him to evil, and with no known cure, his only hope now lay in finding the source of the healing energy in these lands before time ran out.
