Topic: Overuse of italics?

I have a question about my use of italics in this paragraph:

The cardinal crossed himself, then used the jagged edge of his key to gouge his hand three times, shouting, “In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti!” With his bleeding hand, he yanked the pectoral cross from around his neck, gripping it as tightly as any crusader ever held a sword. He charged the satanic being, roaring, “Amen!”

I already say the cardinal shouts/roars in these sentences, plus they end with exclamation marks. I emphasized Patris, Filii, and Spiritus Sancti as those are the specific words he shouts with each gouge. In the last sentence (Amen!), I figured he would probably be just as emphatic with his roar of that word as he would with Patris, Filii, etc.

Am I overdoing it? I don't normally use much italics, so this is an outlier.

Thanks
Dirk

Quote Post 1

Re: Overuse of italics?

I think it's normal to see foreign words italicized in literature. This does not look like an overuse to me.

Quote Post 2

Re: Overuse of italics?

From Daily Writing Tips:
Here are some guidelines for the use of italics with foreign words in an English text.
1. If only one unfamiliar foreign word or brief phrase is being used, italicize it.
2. If an entire sentence or passage of two or more sentences appear in a foreign language, type the passage in plain type and put the passage in quotation marks.
3. If the foreign word is a proper noun, do not italicize it.
4. If you are using two foreign words or phrases, one familiar and one unfamiliar, italicize both of them for consistency and appearance.
5. Common Latin words and abbreviations like etc., et al., and ibid. need not be italicized. An exception is sic, which should be italicized and placed in square brackets.

It would seem you could use italics of foreign words when needed or expected and any overuse -- or not -- will take care of itself. Take care. Vern

Quote Post 3

Re: Overuse of italics?

Thank you.

Quote Post 4

5 Reply by ray ashton (edited by ray ashton 2019-10-21 21:06:47)

Re: Overuse of italics?

Maybe you can show the reader he's screaming by letting me hear how the roar bounces off the walls and echoes around the church? Throw in a little soundtrack?

Quote Post 5

Re: Overuse of italics?

Thanks, Ray. I'll include that in a future draft. I'm so sick of scene 1.2. I've rewritten it (almost totally) at least four times. Page count changed dramatically between drafts. I plan to have the dark being destroy much of the church in the next draft (exploding windows, collapsing altar, etc.). Couldn't do it this pass because it affects much of what I've already written/planned.

Quote Post 6