New writer

Hello! I am a new writer and I have just joined this site. I recently published my first chapter of a book I am working on, The Return to the Kingdom, and received feedback which I have incorporated into my story. I am struggling with the flow of the story, if it reads fluidly and reads well. I am unsure if the chapter is better, or if there is still things that could be better since I incorporated the feedback. I know that all writing always has things that can be improved, but I am worried that the chapter still has major things that need work on. So could someone please review the first chapter to see how it is? I would greatly appreciate it and I feel bad for having to ask for more feedback. I really love this site and am so glad I found it!