Re: Good job!

Dagnee, I just read your post way far up the line here. I'm so sorry to understand that you took me to mean that I would tear someone's work apart. The "you" I was speaking of was someone else. I was speaking to the person who did it to me recently: thrust the knife into the belly of my piece, without offering any clarification, and then patted me on the head with a "good job."
I edited out the phrase from my original post, because it was distracting from the point I was trying to make.
No good can come of tearing someone's work apart, and I do not believe I am guilty of doing so.

27 (edited by Mariana Reuter 2017-09-11 22:52:53)

Re: Good job!

Karen van Kriedt wrote:

Something I’ve noticed -- something I’ve been guilty of -- telling someone they’ve done a “Good job!”, or patting them on the back with “Good work!”, especially after you’ve torn their work to shreds, is patronizing. I for one won’t be using either phrase again.

For one thing, I have never, ever, torn somebody else’s work “to shreds”. I don’t think it’s the spirit of this site.

It’s my belief that people post their work here for one, or several, of the following reasons: a) they want to improve (in several ways) the novel/short story/poem posted; b) through other people’s comments, they want to learn and improve their writing; c) they want to test the reader’s reaction to a particular story.

Whilst many times you get your story edited for free--and I agree there’s people who come here to obtain such a service--IMHO, the actual benefit is not the savings, but the learning. After one person, or several people, correct your story in terms of grammar, punctuation, and construction, you end up learning. Just like you learn when a professional editor turns back your story dully corrected. Unless you’re plainly stupid--and I don’t believe that’s the case here--each correction implies a learning, and a mistake that, potentially, you might not make again.

At the same time, reviewers provide literary advice. I.e., they comment on the plot, on the world building, on whether the characters are uni-, bi-, or tri-dimensional, etc. As a writer, I also learn each time somebody hands me literary advice on my stories. Contrary to what I stated in the above paragraph, I find that literary comments, whilst proving me with some learning, are valuable not because of the said learning, but because of their contribution to the story itself. I.e., they help me to improve my story.

A tragedy takes place when somebody “tears to shreds” your story. Why would anybody want to do so? To show-off how good a writer they are? Tsk, tsk.

Let’s assume you are a new writer, and the story you’ve just posted sucks, in every possible way. It’s full of grammatical and punctuation mistakes. The voice is poor. The plot is aiming nowhere. A total mess.

An ethical reviewer must not point out to each and every of your mistakes and even gloat over her deed (“Ha! I turned X’s work into shreds, but told her she’d done a good job”). On the contrary, if she really wants to help you, she must go step by step, pointing at the element that is affecting your story the most. If it is the grammar, then the accent must be on the grammatical mistakes, if it’s the voice, then on the voice, etc. It’s valid to start marking word after word on the in-line reviewing tool, indicating “delete” as long as, in the final comment, an explanation is provided. E.g., “I marked a number of words that, from my standpoint, are not necessary. It’s my feeling you are using too many words to explain yourself. A lighter prose is always preferred by readers.” Or something of the sort. The idea is that the writer doesn’t end up feeling her work was torn into shreds by a merciless, heartless, and cruel fellow author, but that useful advice was provided on behalf of the aspiring author herself.

If you have torn somebody’s work into shreds, and you openly recognise it, a “Good job!” or “Good work!” closing comment is not only misplaced but results offensive. Of course it’s patronising! My question would be, why did you tear somebody else’s work into shreds in the first place? He won’t appreciate your comments. He won’t learn from them. He’ll feel raped and will hate you. In due time, he’ll come back and will try to charge you back for what he feels was an insult. In the first opportunity, in the first available forum thread, he will post how mean you’ve been. Or she will stop trusting your reviewing skills--after she asked the site administrator to delete your comments.

So, if we all want to make the most of this site, let’s forget about tearing into shreds somebody else’s work. Let’s talk about teaching, about providing constructive comments, about supporting our points of view with facts, and about being objective rather than subjective.

Closing comment: one reviewer left the following closing comment to an in-line review:

“I don’t think I have reviewed your work before, so just to let you know, if you are one of those folks that feels compelled to comment back on inline comments, don’t waste your time.  I never read them.”

How arrogant! How positively arrogant! The idea is to communicate, to discuss, to learn from each other. Not to drop our comments as if we were know-it-alls. “Don’t waste your time. I never read them” = I’m neither interested in your feedback nor in your reactions. I don’t care for your story and whether my comments are useful. I only care for the points, and for sharing with you a token of my never-ending knowledge.

God! That’s the kind of people who shouldn’t sign up on TNBW! And that’s the kind of attitude we must never foster.

Kiss,

Gacela

Re: Good job!

Jack the Knife, If you think there's a message that should be "delivered" to me, please speak plainly. What is it? What am I doing wrong? I've never reviewed people's work before Feb 2017 so it's a relatively new activity for me. When I review, I give greatly of myself and review the work to the best of my ability with constructive observations. If I'm doing it incorrectly, someone might clue me in with some clarifying, non-accusatory input. A number of writers on this site have thanked me for my insight. Just because you have an opinion doesn't make you right.

Dill Carver, I have absolutely no respect for you, whatsoever. If I ever see your name again it will be too soon. You are no-holds-barred mean which, to my mind, doesn't have it's place on this site. How dare you accuse me of playing the victim! You live in your own world, and I'm just glad I live in mine. Adios muchacho!

Re: Good job!

dagnee wrote:

You're all for facing the truth, so...I was a recipient of a review that tore into an innocently written fictionalized account of an actual event. Remember?)

Truthfully, I don't recall that. I wrote literally thousands of reviews back in the day upon the old site. I can actually remember three or four of them.

Since 2006 through to the end of the old site I remember dozens and dozens of members, but I don't recall you? I actually thought for a while that I did, but upon searching through my old archived documents, the member that I'd interacted with who I thought was you, turns out to be 'Deb'.  I don't know how I got mixed up upon that score. We obviously moved in different circles. Most of the members that I reviewed... I reviewed dozens of times, normally all or most of their work but I honestly don't recall ever reading (or reviewing) anything that you've written outside of the forum?

Where I do remember you, is from a forum spat after the site changed to the new format. You had an opinion expressing 'for' something in one thread and a contradictory opinion expressing 'against' the very same thing within another. It's a bit hazy now but it was fiery at the time. I might ask Vern if he recalls it, I'm sure he was around within the incident.

Since the new site I don't review much. Old colleagues originally from here, mostly off-line now or on another site. I review the tNBW competitions, mostly upon a reciprocation basis, unless I read an entry from somebody I don't know whose entry impresses me. 

If I've upset you in the past then apologies.

Again, to be honest, tNBW is a relatively small particle of my life. I'm embroiled in work and family, other writing projects and sites; photography clubs and workshops (my main passion) and military veteran and reunion groups and activities. Historical research projects. Study for trade accreditation exams. That and motorcycle stuff. If only you knew the extent of my heated discussions, spats, rows and disagreements across the scope of that lot; you'd understand why my tNBW memory is weak and inconsequential.  I am quite insensitive by nature and have always walked around with my foot in my mouth. Once bitten? You are very wise to steer clear of me and I have no memory of whatever passed between us, let alone lingering resentment or anything else to dwell upon. You are a name with nothing behind it and there is no reason to change that.

Cheers, Dill

Re: Good job!

Karen van Kriedt wrote:

...How dare you accuse me of playing the victim! You live in your own world, and I'm just glad I live in mine. Adios muchacho!

I don't accuse you, merely read what you wrote...

Karen van Kriedt wrote:

Dill Carver, I have blocked you. You are the most poisonous, destructive person I come upon in a long while. Why you feel the necessity to attack others when they're vulnerable only you know. Karen

Totally weird. Not sure which one of your realities  you were in when you wrote that?

Re: Good job!

Karen van Kriedt wrote:

Dill Carver, I have absolutely no respect for you, whatsoever. If I ever see your name again it will be too soon. You are no-holds-barred mean which, to my mind, doesn't have it's place on this site

You've only been here five minutes, and you have the audacity to think that I'm mean for being opposed to this...

Karen van Kriedt wrote:

Something I’ve noticed -- something I’ve been guilty of -- telling someone they’ve done a “Good job!”, or patting them on the back with “Good work!”, especially after you’ve torn their work to shreds, is patronizing. I for one won’t be using either phrase again.

You think this reviewing 'best practice' has a place on this site?

I know I am the mean one, but I'm truly sorry for your feelings of guilt for telling someone they’ve done a “Good job! It obviously made you feel very uncomfortable.  At least you can ease your conscious now, after tearing their work to shreds, by never saying anything encouraging at all.

Re: Good job!

Dill Carver wrote:
dagnee wrote:

You're all for facing the truth, so...I was a recipient of a review that tore into an innocently written fictionalized account of an actual event. Remember?)

Truthfully, I don't recall that. I wrote literally thousands of reviews back in the day upon the old site. I can actually remember three or four of them.

Since 2006 through to the end of the old site I remember dozens and dozens of members, but I don't recall you? I actually thought for a while that I did, but upon searching through my old archived documents, the member that I'd interacted with who I thought was you, turns out to be 'Deb'.  I don't know how I got mixed up upon that score. We obviously moved in different circles. Most of the members that I reviewed... I reviewed dozens of times, normally all or most of their work but I honestly don't recall ever reading (or reviewing) anything that you've written outside of the forum?

Where I do remember you, is from a forum spat after the site changed to the new format. You had an opinion expressing 'for' something in one thread and a contradictory opinion expressing 'against' the very same thing within another. It's a bit hazy now but it was fiery at the time. I might ask Vern if he recalls it, I'm sure he was around within the incident.

Since the new site I don't review much. Old colleagues originally from here, mostly off-line now or on another site. I review the tNBW competitions, mostly upon a reciprocation basis, unless I read an entry from somebody I don't know whose entry impresses me. 

If I've upset you in the past then apologies.

Again, to be honest, tNBW is a relatively small particle of my life. I'm embroiled in work and family, other writing projects and sites; photography clubs and workshops (my main passion) and military veteran and reunion groups and activities. Historical research projects. Study for trade accreditation exams. That and motorcycle stuff. If only you knew the extent of my heated discussions, spats, rows and disagreements across the scope of that lot; you'd understand why my tNBW memory is weak and inconsequential.  I am quite insensitive by nature and have always walked around with my foot in my mouth. Once bitten? You are very wise to steer clear of me and I have no memory of whatever passed between us, let alone lingering resentment or anything else to dwell upon. You are a name with nothing behind it and there is no reason to change that.

Cheers, Dill

Dill,
I accepted your apologies when it happened. So...no need to re-apologize. And you won't find that review because Sol removed it.
I remember that spat, and all I can say is I changed my mind and you made a big deal out it.
smile

Re: Good job!

Ah, I think this topic has spiraled a bit out of control. I'd recommend it just be deleted and people move on. I don't think Karen advocated shredding writers n reviews.

Re: Good job!

Karen, the message given by Dill was that he felt your reviewing motives were wrong. That is why he harped on your editing out the "tearing to shreds" part of your original post. (And that's what I agreed with.) Seeing that set him off, and I can't really blame him. You, apparently, saw that, too; hence, the deletion. We're all here to improve our skills, and having a reviewer tear our effort to shreds is not what we want. We can get that anytime we want by querying some big-shot agent. Believe me, I've been there! We want constructive criticism. If it makes sense, we go with it; if not, we ignore it. A writer has to be his own self and not ride whatever winds strike him on a given day. We have our styles - or we'll develop them at some point, hopefully - and suggestions to change them will likely fall on deaf ears. (Sometimes those ears will take offense, as you've discovered.)

If you don't like what you're reading, stop, step away, and move on. If you ever review any of my postings, I'll gladly accept your opinions as to how it could be improved. That's why I'm here! I may disagree, based on my "style" or whatever, but I'll take them for the spirit in which they're given, as long as I see that spirit as being constructive, not patronizingly teachy. (A recent reviewer actually gave me a website link that would illustrate what I was doing was wrong.) Though having published eight novels, all workshopped here and gone through the editing process by publishers, there's still much to be learned. I'm not a household name and can't slide by on celebrity status. So I keep at it.

Re: Good job!

dagnee wrote:

I remember that spat, and all I can say is I changed my mind and you made a big deal out it.
smile

I make a big deal out of everything. When the moon is in the right phase.

Re: Good job!

SolN wrote:

Ah, I think this topic has spiraled a bit out of control. I'd recommend it just be deleted and people move on. .

I agree. Shut it down. JP