1 Topic by corra (edited by corra 2017-05-29 00:54:32)

Topic: graymartin - contest entry

I see what you're saying about Stockholm Syndrome. I didn't doubt that the girl would be terrified -- fearing he could see her whether he could or not. I found that believable. And I did realize (from the title) she was supposed to have Stockholm Syndrome -- as in, be so accustomed to confinement that she finally suffered inertia in the face of freedom. I simply didn't understand how a reputable kidnapper (not suffering anything) would just leave her in the Laundromat to go off on some errand. That seemed a foolish thing to do (from a kidnapper's perspective.)

Now I understand: it's a power play: he gets a high from leaving her in so obvious a place, knowing she won't say anything.

Very disturbing. I ended up in conversation with someone on the topic of Stockholm Syndrome after reading your story (and your response to my remarks.) This person suggested that a kidnapper in such a situation might slowly give the girl more and more freedom, usually in ordinary outings, like going to the laundromat. Just leave her there to do his laundry, totally free, knowing she'd never run. I've never heard of such a thing. How sickening.

I think you take on a really relevant topic in your story, and one that's quite disturbing for its basis in reality. There's plenty of room for thinking about the larger contextual theme. You've done a lot in 200 words, and now that I understand it better, I'd say it's a strong contender.

Sorry for my unnecessary suggestions twice-offered! You're right: it did get me thinking, which is why we write. Very best wishes in the contest.

All the best, corra

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2 Reply by graymartin (edited by graymartin 2017-05-29 01:09:34)

Re: graymartin - contest entry

Thanks, Corra! Your commentary and suggestions were very helpful. I wrote this with an idea of what I wanted to say, but a lot of the deeper meaning had to be layered on after I thought things through. For instance, I didn't want to spell out any sexual violence -- which is a typical power play for abusers -- so I used the image of him forcing her to wash his laundry with hers. That said, your suggestions were the opposite of unnecessary. It's always good to reexamine and think through the logic of what you've written. As a silly example, when I reviewed Don Chambers' flash fic about a girl returning a lost dog to his owner, I suggested he'd written a parable about youth versus experience and the narcissism of the "millennial" me-me-me generation. He thanked me for the compliment, then said "actually, it's just a story about a girl returning a lost dog," but I still think his subconscious wheels were turning with a deeper meaning, LOL. Thanks for taking so much time with this. I found your piece equally thought-provoking. Gray

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Re: graymartin - contest entry

You're welcome, Gray. And thanks to you too. smile

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