Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread
OK, one chapter closer to the En...
Nope, can't write that without earning it. Moving on to see what else I can accomplish tonight.
A
1,552 2016-12-27 07:08:37
- amy s
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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread
Two more chapters are up. Moving closer to...wait for it...the En...
1,553 2016-12-27 09:52:10
- njc
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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread
Got 'em. Quick read has me thinking fast execution and uneven pacing, but I'll give them a better look a little late.
1,554 2016-12-27 11:11:26
- amy s
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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread
Next chapter is up as well. Second to last. One more to go until HFN.
1,555 2016-12-27 15:37:17
- Unbar
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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread
Congrats amy on getting this close to the en...
1,556 2016-12-27 16:28:02
- Kdot
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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread
Indeed... however can you change the title of chapter 54 to a non-spoiler?
1,557 2016-12-27 18:07:30
- amy s
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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread
For you, I shall change the title...
1,558 2016-12-28 00:47:35
- njc
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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread
Regarding your comment on the last review: that was your muse. (Google 'Myrtle the Muse')
That last scene is almost Tolkienesque in its drama, though I don't think Profesor T. would have resorted to the cliffhanger.
1,559 2016-12-28 09:11:05
- amy s
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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread
I have a muse? Don't mess with the muse. Keep the muse happy. Got it.
1,560 2016-12-28 09:48:36 (edited by njc 2016-12-28 09:51:20)
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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread
1,561 2016-12-28 12:48:43
- Kdot
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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread
I find the advice in that column is a little weird.
She says to her friend "Don't write a Twilight knock off because that's writing to trend and by the time you could get published, the trend will be gone"
She forgets 50 Shades of Grey is a Twilight knock-off produced years after Twilight was trendy. She forgets that Star Wars is a Flash Gordon remake.
I don't see 50 Shades or Star Wars struggling for fans or money.
I agree with her idea that "John" was struggling with the story and should move back to his comfort zone - at least until he completes his first manuscript.
1,562 2016-12-28 23:29:49 (edited by njc 2016-12-28 23:51:31)
- njc
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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread
Added a comment on Ch54.
Edit: Ch55, too.
Edit: I've been thinking about the connections between your B1, B2, and B3 for the reader starting them in whatever order. Opening two of them at Earthwound and Acts with Anver trying to figure out how to save Kha will help the reader move from book to book. You should also have a canonical order for the first three.
1,563 2016-12-29 04:59:31
- amy s
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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread
The all-call that Jaylene activates with the Lance happens a total of four times during Dictates. This synchronizes the story and I have to go back and check to make sure when these happen. (Sil would notice them. Kha would as well, though he might not know what they meant. Airen would have a chance at reacting to them. So would Anver (who also wouldn't have a clue what was happening)
Jaylene's return to existence syncs up with Mandates (when Airen and Kha fight the Thunderbird)
There are a couple other timing overlaps that exist, with the biggest being the Earthwound.
I've tried to write this as the beginning, and it fails every time. Ironically, I agree with you that the connection is important. Problem is that none of the three books are going to address the Earthwound and what happened there, so bringing up that place in chapter 1 raises expectations about what will be included in the storyline.
What I might do is add on the prologue and make it available on the website or something. If anyone cares about the trivia, they can search it out and get the free material.
Right now, I'm planning the last chapter and what needs to be written to lay the path for Book 4. Time for HFN, a big parade, and a Wookie howling while Leia puts a medal around his neck. I can't forget the droid rocking back and forth and looking cute, either.
1,564 2016-12-29 05:18:20
- njc
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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread
I think that the original 'Jaylene falling' section could be made into a ninety-word prologue, perhaps italicized, for Dictates. Kha waking and the brief discussion can serve as the opening of Mandates (followed by Kha's letter to Anver). Acts needs only a few words to tie Kha's condition to surviving the disaster at Earthwound.
Sadly, we'll need Leia's ghost.
1,565 2016-12-29 07:04:51
- amy s
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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread
Carrie's humor lives on. Google the speech she gave at George Lucas' roast. Hilarious.
1,566 2016-12-29 09:35:43
- amy s
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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread
the most recent chapter has been updated with more perspective from Aldamurisse. It's better, I think. Still mulling what to do with the last chapter. Waiting for Myrtle the Muse to hit me over the head, I think.
1,567 2016-12-29 12:49:10
- Kdot
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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread
Hey! Spoilers!
1,568 2016-12-30 02:17:14
- amy s
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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread
When I know that your book will automatically kill everyone except K-God and his wife, Cray-Cray-with-telepathy-only-when-its-convenient, is that considered a spoiler? Hmm?
1,569 2016-12-30 02:32:20
- Kdot
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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread
touché.
However #3 died in in book 3 chapter 12 and Book 6 chapter 1. Not my fault she keeps getting better
1,570 2016-12-30 03:04:52
- amy s
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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread
Oh, no. You have nothing to do with that.
1,571 2016-12-30 06:09:03
- Norm d'Plume
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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread
Aldamurisse? I'm intrigued. And after Carrie and her mother, I need a little good news. Do I need to skip to the end, Amy, or will the book still be up a while?
1,572 2016-12-30 07:33:03
- amy s
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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread
I'll leave the book up until I get an offer from an agent. Unless a miracle happens, I don't expect someone who I hired to do freelance editing to be suddenly interested in my book. (Though he reps what I want to write, so win-win, either way.) So I have no intention of eliminating the chance to get your advice. I'll leave the book up for now:-)
1,573 2016-12-31 04:57:16
- amy s
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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread
The...End.
Mother of sausages, I'm TIRED.
1,574 2016-12-31 06:09:27
- Norm d'Plume
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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread
Amy, what level of editing feedback are you getting from your editor? More than just line edits, I assume. Also, what is the cost of editing a book? By the time I finish v3 + edits, I doubt I'll want to make any more major changes. I simply write too slowly. Just curious what you get for your $$$.
1,575 2016-12-31 06:52:23
- Kdot
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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread
a) If your editor doesn't find any major flaws you either have a best-seller or a bad editor
b) a dollar a double-spaced page is about the min you should pay, I've paid $3 per page for line edits plus comments. Generally the more the better work, provided it's a reputable firm.
I put R*cket G*rl Book I through the normal channels. Editor made an interesting observation that MC cries too much. This was a massive comment because my characters don't cry except in extenuating circumstances. This forced me to consider removing the circumstances (or softening them). I haven't made a final descision yet... the changes required significantly alter the story in unintended directions. I haven't decided yet -- still have 40 days to choose. Currently likely to press forward. Only *likely*.
