Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B.
Flenser?
Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi → The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B.
All of those make me think of cooked chicken. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
It's probably a good thing. Maybe crisper for the rifle and toaster for the handgun. I could never warm up to fryer as the main weapon, which led to flesh eater. Actually, all the possible food cooking tech makes for great nonsense. But what would a rice cooker do?
All manufactured by Acme, of course.
the (micro) wave-master
The As-Seen-On-TV World's Best Leg and Thigh Machine
The Incredible Meatball Magic Maker
Zoombies-Boombies
A Stir-fry Gun
I like Stir-fry a lot.
Microwaver, perhaps?
Meatball Maker.
I'll Google kitchen tech and have a little fun. There are probably a bunch related to knives, too.
This is gonna rock! Thanks
Dirk
Oh, and crisper wins as the default rifle. Toaster reappears as the handgun. The other names may be versions of those.
Knife tech will be a third class of weapon.
Woohoo! Chapter 4 is up (the attack on the palace).
Quick, go read!
If you have or are going to read chapter 4, I suggest listening to this first. It's a hoot, and relevant.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CnPv_1SVh0
Aussie will just die.
Knowing as my regulars do the extent of nonsense in my book, I was wondering if the following is too over-the-top. I'm leaning toward punting it. (Joseph is dictating this to his AI as an essay.)
“Let’s keep going. … New Bethlehem is a God-fearing world, founded by a conservative religious dynasty descended from Shepherd Donald Trump, who famously “tweeted” his resignation as U.S. President to take up a “higher calling.” Followers of his faith eventually fled Earth in the late third millennium to escape the planet’s ever-worsening Warming, and the Imperium’s cowardly tyrannical oppression.”
Thanks
Dirk
Agree ... and you have the 'alternate history' problem. You might get away with it if you don't name the individual and avoid the specific word 'tweet'.
I think tweet is probably safe since future candidates are going to have to have a Twitter presence, at least until the fad runs its course. You're right, though, I have to find a name that "could" be Trump, without naming him. Pastor Bling? Reverend Bombast?
How about:
New Bethlehem is a God-fearing world, founded by religious conservatives descended from the Reverend ‘Bombast,’ as he was affectionately known among his flock. The Reverend Bombast was a sitting U.S. president when he famously ‘tweeted’ his resignation from the Oval Office after being sovereignly chosen and called by God to a higher purpose. His heirs eventually fled Earth in the late third millennium to escape the planet’s ever-worsening Warming, and the Imperium’s cowardly tyrannical oppression.
I looked up bigly. It's a word! My theory is that Trump, really a Democrat, is actually brilliant and putting on a reality show while secretly destroying the Republican Party.
As K noted somewhere, my early chapter ordering bounces around quite a bit between semi-prologue, MCs, and Galactipedia articles:
1. For the Realm! - intro to Admiral Windsor aka Joseph's grandmother in 3994 AD
2. Boys With a Destiny - intro to Joseph, Apollo, and God, fast forward thru childhood to 4017 AD
3. Galactipedia: The Great Collapse of Civilization - first major galactic event of the future
4. The Shadow of Death - Joseph's first full chapter, his world and its history, action begins
5. Galactipedia: The Rise of the Julii - second major future event
6. A Pax Romana - Apollo's first full chapter, intro to the shogun, Apollo's destiny revealed
7. I Will Shake the Universe - Andrew's hanging, Joseph's destiny revealed
8. Title TBD - intro to the imperator and imperatrix, their relationships with Apollo, the Throne Room
The Great Collapse has to come before The Rise of the Julii (about 2 pages each), and both need to come very early in the story. I could potentially delay Rise of the Julii to just before chapter 8 (Apollo's second full chapter). That would give me three story chapters after the Great Collapse before the next article. I also snuck in a two-page "essay" by Joseph into chapter 4 which would have otherwise been another article. I'm still itching to do it that way. Add to all this the fact that the story chapters alternate between Joseph and Apollo. Any publisher looking at this would probably say WTF? Talk about demolishing a formula.
Thoughts?
Anything you can do to bunt the news article out of the important 3rd chapter slot would help (I don't purport to speak for publishers)
Here's the ordering if I delay both articles until later:
1. For the Realm! - intro to Admiral Windsor aka Joseph's grandmother in 3994 AD
2. Boys With a Destiny - intro to Joseph, Apollo, and God, fast forward thru childhood to 4017 AD
3. The Shadow of Death - Joseph's first full chapter, his world and its history, action begins
4. A Pax Romana - Apollo's first full chapter, intro to the shogun, Apollo's destiny revealed
5. Galactipedia: The Great Collapse of Civilization - first major galactic event of the future
6. I Will Shake the Universe - Andrew's hanging, Joseph's destiny revealed
7. Galactipedia: The Rise of the Julii - second major future event
8. Title TBD - intro to the imperator and imperatrix, their relationships with Apollo, the Throne Room
It just doesn't work. Joseph writes his essay before the reader knows anything substantive about the Great Collapse. Also, we then seesaw back and forth between story chapter and Galactipedia starting from chapter four. One of the advantages of having the Great Collapse before the main story chapters is that it gives history that affects both MCs. The New Bethlehem essay is relevant to Joseph. And the Rise of the Julii is relevant to Apollo.
Here's what it looks like if I move the essay out as a Galactipedia article:
1. For the Realm! - intro to Admiral Windsor aka Joseph's grandmother in 3994 AD
2. Boys With a Destiny - intro to Joseph, Apollo, and God, fast forward thru childhood to 4017 AD
3. Galactipedia: The Great Collapse of Civilization
4. The Shadow of Death - Joseph's first full chapter, action begins
5. A Pax Romana - Apollo's first full chapter, intro to the shogun, Apollo's destiny revealed
6. Galactipedia: New Bethlehem
7. I Will Shake the Universe - Andrew's hanging, Joseph's destiny revealed
8. Galactipedia: The Rise of the Julii
9. Title TBD - intro to the imperator and imperatrix, their relationships with Apollo, the Throne Room
This one at least is balanced. Two opening chapters, an article before starting the main story, two story chapters (one per MC), followed by one article+chapter for each MC.
You're treating your story like a jigsaw puzzle rather than a story
I looked up bigly. It's a word! My theory is that Trump, really a Democrat, is actually brilliant and putting on a reality show while secretly destroying the Republican Party.
Or maybe Trump is sick of seeing politicians get away with things that Even Trump Would Go To Jail For? Then this is his revenge on the whole hideous mutant strain?
How about:
New Bethlehem is a God-fearing world, founded by religious conservatives descended from the Reverend ‘Bombast,’ as he was affectionately known among his flock. The Reverend Bombast was a sitting U.S. president when he famously ‘tweeted’ his resignation from the Oval Office after being sovereignly chosen and called by God to a higher purpose. His heirs eventually fled Earth in the late third millennium to escape the planet’s ever-worsening Warming, and the Imperium’s cowardly tyrannical oppression.
This still 'breaks the verisimilitude' (thx to kdot for expanding my vocab) I would peg this to a particular 'future' U.S president. He/she can can have similar conservative traits but should be unique in history. That way your story won't date as time goes by. When you mention 'Heirs fled Earth' you're tracking ancestry for hundreds of years. IMO try having this president's term closer to the Imperium's era.
A good example I can recall is United States president Cliff Robertson (ESCAPE FROM L.A) in 1996 John Carpenter pretty much predicted how things would pan out
It's intentionally tongue-in-cheek, which is something I began doing in act three onward (and on into v3). And don't forget about ancestry.com. That kind of search will be a simple lookup in a few years. Also, the Queen of England is known to be a descendent of King David (now that's cool!).
If I get rid of the tweeting, I would drop US president too. Technically, you would expect that the president's real name be given in such an essay/article anyway, so that was a known weakness to the writeup. I kind of like Bombast, though, so that begs the question who better than Trump for that role? It should have the potential to be based on someone real without coming right out and saying it. It helps if they're dead, so I can't get sued.
I was originally going to use Bishop Bling, but that's already taken. $30M to renovate a church?! Might as well rebuild St. Peter's Basicala.
How about:
Bombast was a sitting U.S. president when he famously “chirped” his resignation from the Oval Office, claiming he was called by the Lord to battle the Antichrist mano a mano.
I'm debating using the often-misused mono y mono, which means monkey and monkey.
Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi → The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B.