251 (edited by Elisheva Free 2016-08-31 19:55:28)

Re: The Colorless Dragon Thread

Well, I've just made my third visit to the ER so far this year. Each time, I find my respect for those in the medical profession growing and my weekly writing quotas shrinking... I'll get a break one of these days and then maybe I'll actually finish my first draft. In the meantime, I'm going to go find the nearest coffee shop so I can return to the world of the living.

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These trips... they're voluntary?

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I'm thinking that 3 visits to an ER are unlikely to be a voluntary thing.

About your question, Elisheva. Here is an idea. Ask yourself why Maya isn't motivated, rather than how to move her along.

Here is an example of a similar problem that I've dealt with. Jaylene is a passive character by nature. Yet she is a general, and a leader in her church. I initially saw her as a reluctant hero. I modeled her after the person who initially came up with Jaylene's character. Darlene is a sweet soul. She is full of fire when irritated and can plow through people's feelings when there is something that she wants. She is also VERY shy and sometimes pulls into herself when dealing with conflict. Hows that for a difficult character to write?

In initial versions of my story, Jaylene was too passive. Readers didn't like her compared to Alda. It really surprised me, because my friend is a wonderful and complicated person. What I realized is that I had to change Jaylene so that she was the character Darlene envisioned, rather than being modeled after my friend.

Later versions of the character have been dominant, because you don't run an army by being shy or unsure. Jaylene had to pick a course of action and proceed despite doubt. (Like risking the Voice to save Tazar. Like leaving Elston with the knowledge of an insider working within the Church...and then disappearing into the Catacombs to deal with the Horror)

So when you talk about a pivotal event to motivate Maya, consider changing her personality rather than her history. (Is she the one that you define by sighing a lot?  I'm pretty sure that is so. IMO, sighing is something that people do to accept situations that they can't change...i.e. passive)  If you change Maya from a passive to an aggressive voice, she could start to cooperate...or another way of looking at it is to change Maya from a beta female into an alpha. She will act because this is in her nature.

Another way to put it...put on your ornery hat.

Hope this helped. And hope that you are feeling better.

A

254 (edited by amy s 2016-09-01 12:16:18)

Re: The Colorless Dragon Thread

Ways to bring out Maya's dominance...figure out how to hurt her. What is something that will rip her to the core?

Sorry, Maya, but something rotten is about to happen...

Elisheva, this is where you get to be horrible and make your character miserable. Personally, nothing makes me happier than pissing off Kha. It brings a special joy to my heart. That is why he gets embarrassed, angered, and occasionally loses his pants. I've starved the man, made him drag Sil for miles in a travois, nearly killed the love of his life, tried to kill his apprentice, and ripped him away from his best friends and support system. Glorious.

Ideas for Maya:

1) See a person who she identifies with harmed in some fashion.
2) Witness something horrible done by the main antagonist.
3) Witness someone saved by the protagonist and want to be like that person.
4) Put her in a situation where she is helpless and let her swear that will never happen again.
5) Give her a DNPC (Dependent non-player character) Imagine Superman without the problems caused by Lois Lane. She is completely normal, yet she gets into trouble which draws Superman into situations he would never participate in otherwise.
6) Love. People do a lot of stupid things for love. It turns off common sense and makes people do weird and wacky things.
7) Blackmail. People will go to extremes to keep what they love from being harmed or revealed. (See DNPC)

Anyway, you get the idea.

A

Re: The Colorless Dragon Thread

amy s wrote:

I'm thinking that 3 visits to an ER are unlikely to be a voluntary thing.

1. Grandpa had a stroke.
2. Little sister had a car accident.
3. Boyfriend is now sick.

Involuntary. sad

amy s wrote:

Is she the one that you define by sighing a lot?

Yep. I think my biggest problem with Maya is that she's the closest to my own personality. Throwing curveballs her direction is easy... trying to figure out how she's going to deal with said curveballs is the hard part.

amy s wrote:

4) Put her in a situation where she is helpless and let her swear that will never happen again.

This has been my intention from the beginning, but the event that triggers this is kind of the climax of the whole first book. Trying to motivate her prior to this has been the problem. I think I'm leaning K and NJC's direction in letting her join a third party outside of the Scofflaws and the Empire. The details of that have yet to be determined.

Re: The Colorless Dragon Thread

Elisheva Free wrote:

1. Grandpa had a stroke.
2. Little sister had a car accident.
3. Boyfriend is now sick.

Involuntary. sad

Shit E! I hope your grandpa, sis and boyfriend are doing okay! Hang in there! Thinking of you and your family. xx

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There are other ways to chase false solutions, but having her buy into other people's solutions and other people's energizing motivation gives her a chance to learn to be active and find her own non-helpless solutions.

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You said, "This has been my intention from the beginning, but the event that triggers this is kind of the climax of the whole first book. Trying to motivate her prior to this has been the problem. I think I'm leaning K and NJC's direction in letting her join a third party outside of the Scofflaws and the Empire. The details of that have yet to be determined"

Here's a thought to chew on. It is incredibly hard to figure out where to start a story. Where the book begins. Writing an entire book to get a passive character into the game is more like a character exploration, rather than engaging action. Don't get me wrong. I understand the value of the 'reluctant heroine' who is sucked into the action despite every effort to leave. If that is your goal, then give her no choice. The trap door closes…she has to duck under or be trapped for eternity. She has to decide whether to get on a plane or stay and live a safe life…but then she realizes her purse is on the plane and it has the only existing picture of her dear-departed gramma tucked inside.

In other words, it is fate shoving Maya forward and she is caught in the current.

Otherwise, start your story AFTER Maya realizes her priorities so that the action flows. Or make Maya a secondary character who the other characters have to motivate.

It's hard to change the format of the book, minimizing the struggles of a character you identify with. For me, Airen was the character I identified with the most. When people read the first few versions, they really didn't like her. When I turned attention to Kha, Airen fit better. Going into her head made her more of a bitch rather than a mystery.

Ironically, Alda is the character I identify most with in Dictates. However, I had to be prompted to add more of her perspective.

K is going to have a field day with this one, because he keeps hoping that Airen is going to be dropped into lava or eaten by a dragon. No love lost there.

So my advice is to figure out where to start the story. When I paid for a critique from a Lit Agency, the biggest compliment was that I picked the right place to start. The surprise was that I didn't do enough world-building to let people understand the context.

Either way, your story…your world.

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No field day.

Writing a story about someone who's actively trying *not* to take action is difficult. One of my mains (the amazing [K a j o]) falls into that category. I basically surrounded him in people he grows to like and slowly take them away from him as a penalty for inaction until finally he's spurred to move. At the end of his book one, in the final chapter, he's finally like "okay fine, I'll get up and do something" -- the end.

This is a tough structure to write... after all why should the reader care about my MC if he can't be bothered to lift a finger for himself? We tend to want to read about someone motivated. If they aren't motivated, the story has to do backflips to keep us tagging along. Samuel Beckett had this ability. And Robertson Davies.

I know this doesn't help. Just some thoughts.

260 (edited by amy s 2016-09-02 13:08:41)

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You write about (the amazing K a J o) because you are being bro-mantic. He is basically Superman without the Kryptonite. Interesting that you are writing these stories to take away the people who matter to him. I didn't get that part and am glad you pointed it out to me. (Sniff) See? I cried.

However, writing books about other characters and then letting Deux-ex-Machka-jo solve the problem?  Ooooo….put up your dukes, mister. (Dances around you) Float like a butterfly and sting like a bee. I'm putting on my fighting gloves.

I'm also thinking that I should read the first book. You've sold me :-)

261 (edited by Elisheva Free 2016-09-07 15:15:47)

Re: The Colorless Dragon Thread

Thanks for all the advice, everyone! smile I'm hoping to get back on track with my writing in the next week. Maybe I can even get a few reviews done, as well.

At this point, I might just push Maya to the latter half of the story and focus more on Vierra & Dea for the first half. Maya's arrest chapter is far more exciting from Vierra's PoV, anyhow. The interrogation chapter is the one that I can't really do from Vierra's PoV, but I could trade that out for a more exciting scene of Vierra breaking her sister out of prison. cool Arranging things like this also delays the Maya/Merrin pairing, which I quite like.

Re: The Colorless Dragon Thread

I started a spreadsheet that's a slightly modified version of K's three-node outline and I finally realized why Maya is so difficult to write. This girl literally has no goals in life. She sews, learns archery, and she follows Merrin around. Normally, this would mean that the character is completely unnecessary and needs to be removed, but she's completely essential for the mechanics of the story. She simply doesn't have anywhere to go in the ending. I can shift things around and split Vierra/Noi's goals so that Maya has a purpose at the end, but it bothers me that it wouldn't be anything unique to her character.

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Ordinary girl learns to cook and sew

*Rolls on mythical traits for NPC table*

97: Maya was an otherwise normal girl who loved pastures and dragons until the day she learned she was secretly a unicorn polymorphed into a human be the evil wizard Bartluxu. She must now make a choice between returning to he equine life of forging a new home as a human"

*rolls again*

33: Maya always wanted to be a shoemaker. It would be her undoing to learn that the BBEG was a cobbler in his youth and held secrets of shoe-making she desperately craved

264 (edited by Norm d'Plume 2016-10-01 00:07:18)

Re: The Colorless Dragon Thread

Try these two name generators:
http://fantasynamegenerators.com
http://www.behindthename.com/

Re: The Colorless Dragon Thread

Hope everyone had an awesome Halloween! Mine was spent running around the office in a corset (which is great, since it's literally impossible to slouch or eat too much food).

So anywho... I finally got a good bit of writing done and my computer decides to just randomly crash while my writing program is open, corrupting the file my work was stored in. Luckily I had a backup, but now I gotta figure out what the crap is wrong with my computer and cross my fingers, hoping it doesn't crash again while my work is open. sad I'm gonna go run some file system tests now...

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Alright, guys. I need a kick in the arse and I think a review is the perfect spark to get me started. Who wants to get poked?

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I'm always up for a review.  There's  that fractional near-porn chapter I put up a while ago ...

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How on Earth are you not on my connections list, NJC? Which chapter is it? Happy to look it over. big_smile

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Ch 16 B2

And I am stingy with connections.  They can pile other people's clutter on my home page.

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Good point. Review of Ch16 is in process...

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Hey NJC, no worries on the connection bit. I just found it curious that you weren't listed as I love reading your work. smile Review of Ch16 is complete! Hope it was at least a little helpful.

Anyone else wanna get poked? *evil grin*

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Chapters 1-30 have officially been outlined! (roughly) Now I just need to down some coffee and actually write all 30 chapters before I decide to make MAJOR changes, yet again. Crossing my fingers that I can make some serious progress this month, especially since I have a week off for Christmas.

On another note, I have a chapter on my to-do list that seems rather daunting. I need to introduce at least one character, make them sweet and lovable, then tear out the reader's heart as that character dies next chapter. hmm I'm not sure my writing skills are good enough to accomplish this, but we're gonna go for it anyhow!

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Be Heartless to your characters. That's why I keep stealing Kha's pants.

274 (edited by E. Free 2017-01-03 02:15:32)

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Hey guys! Sorry I've been MIA for a bit. I promise I'm still writing, just haven't gotten anything developed enough to post it here. No cattle prods, please. wink

In the meantime, if anyone needs reviews feel free to poke me. Tearing into other works helps kick my butt into gear. big_smile

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Anytumw.