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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

We're on the same page, New Jersey. Here is an excerpt.

Jaylene lifted her hand. “It’s time to go. I’m sorry, but I can’t leave you in here.”

Lewellen’s face pinched and he blanched. “I understand.”

Petra hesitated and then pulled Lewellen’s face toward her own. “Thank you for being here.” She kissed him, quick and hard.

He stiffened and then wrapped his arms around her shoulders, claiming Petra’s mouth as his own.

Jaylene let them have their moment and looked away. They were like priests on holiday. There was no penalty in what two of the faith did on their own time.

Lewellen cleared his throat. “I guess we’re ready. Make it quick, Lance.”

Jaylene turned back. A single line of energy entwined about their hands, glowing where their palms touched. Bonded, but this union is willing rather than forced. She remembered the multiple magical tendrils cojoining Caleah and Petra, allowing possession rather than cooperation.

Like a Horror but without the ring.

Jaylene clenched the Lance, feeling like the thought was slipping through her fingers. I’d have to ask Breckin and compare it to Petra’s account. Pity I didn’t spend more time asking...

A chill ran up Jaylene’s spine. Caleah used the same magic as the Horror. She was weaker without Petra’s soul to drain.

In the library while reading the diaries, how did the Voice deal with the Horror possessing his brother?

He harvested the souls with his spear. Until only the Horror remained. He weakened it. That was how he won. He tried to tell me, but I didn’t understand.

“I know how to destroy the Horror.”

“Ma’am?” Lewellen asked with a crack in his voice.

Alda clenched Jaylene’s shoulder. “How?”


And Norm, I always liked the idea of having Yunker and Anver in the first book, but it got panned. I'd love to put them back into play. I like the idea of making a side-story that allows Anver/Yunker to be featured earlier. I'll see what I can do.

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Day 1 of Florida has kicked the butts of Tesm Sonoda. I have tickets for 4 more park days and 5 days left to party. Tomorrow is required as a day of rest. We're gonna get SMEARED.

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

amy wrote:

And Norm, I always liked the idea of having Yunker and Anver in the first book, but it got panned. I'd love to put them back into play. I like the idea of making a side-story that allows Anver/Yunker to be featured earlier. I'll see what I can do.

Perhaps it could be a series of very short stories/parables that Anver tells Yunker that are directly related to Kha's experiences as the book goes on. Of course that breaks with your current storytelling style of independent books.

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

There should be a payoff in Yunker putting all he knows into use at once, for good or ill.

You do know that you'll need to plan a boxed set, right?

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Ooh! What if Yunker is secretly working for/with the necromancer? That would be so cool!

1,381 (edited by njc 2016-06-07 01:13:24)

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

So dey ain't no dry bones?  Whooo, I didn't see that, no I didn't.

Troll's still there and he don't care, with the bone that he boned from its owner.

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Cluze

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

More cluz to come. I talked it out with the husband and I gave him the shivers when I connected the dots. That's when I know I've got good plot.

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Hubby's just afraid of what your twisted ... er, creative mind is capable of. Don't forget Yunker - he's your Anakin Skywalker.

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

You sure about this? Anakin Skywalker was kind of like Wesley Crusher. In my crowd, he was not well received.

1,386 (edited by Norm d'Plume 2016-06-10 06:44:40)

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

That's because they were written as cute 2D kids. Imagine how much better Ani would have been if he had been a sadistic child when the adults weren't looking. Or someone who was teased by the other kids for being a slave. He had a tormentor, we'll call him Biff-Biff, who made his young life a living hell. He's too weak in the Force yet to defend himself, but he's practicing twisting the heads off newly hatched baby Rancors. Then, as he and Padme lift off from Tatooine, the camera pans down into a waste pit with Biff-Biff inside, his head twisted off in an all-too-familiar way. The viewing audience would be salivating for this kid's next move. Probably couldn't take 5-year-olds to see it, though.

Can you tell I've been writing Caligula? tongue

Give us some hints that all is not well with young Yunker. Make him into an interesting puzzle. Eavesdropping on Anver and the others. Caught trying to sneak out of school at night. A series of recurring bouts of magic sickness, typically caused by practicing dark spells that Yunker has no access to. You get the idea.

He may need his own book. tongue

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

amy s wrote:

More cluz to come. I talked it out with the husband and I gave him the shivers when I connected the dots. That's when I know I've got good plot.

My other half won't let me tell him anything about my book 'cause he wants to be my very first reader when it's complete. So no one gets to hear my plot ideas except the kitty cat...

Norm, I need to take lessons from you on villains. Damn.


-Elisheva

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

I married a gamer who likes plot. Got lucky.

1,389 (edited by Norm d'Plume 2016-06-11 03:08:41)

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Elisheva Free wrote:

Norm, I need to take lessons from you on villains. Damn.
-Elisheva

I don't have great villains yet. I tell everything from Joseph's and Apollo's POVs (except for the Caligula chapter), so I have to portray my villains through their dialogue and actions, which is limiting. The only half-decent villain I have is Caligula, and he's due for an overhaul next draft to make everything consistent with the chapter you read. He was pretty much a cartoon before now. In Dune, Frank Herbert got inside the head of the Baron Vladimir Harkonnen (what a great name!), among many other characters. He sometimes used multiple POVs per scene. Sold 20 million books while head-hopping. Clearly he was doing something right.

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

That book is on my must-read list. I tried to read it when I was younger, but honestly my reading level wasn't high enough for it at the time. I've seen the movie a dozen times and I've heard (as with most book-to-movie adaptations) that the book is even better. Maybe I'll try to read it on my vacation...

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Great books. First is really well done

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Chapter House (book 6) best book I've ever read

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

EVER? really? High praise coming from you.

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Have no idea (as always) what you guys are talking about. *googles* SF from before I was born (that doesn't happen often!). Okay, that makes sense why I haven't heard of it. *phew*

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

K is old. Like me. I'm just glad that my initial impression wasn't accurate...that he lived in his mother's basement.  Consider it a positive, K. You write as if you are young.

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

I got one foot in the grave

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

You too? 50 is the new 80.

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

I thought K was more my age?! yikes

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

He is an old soul with a crusty exterior. Rust isn't an indication of age. It is ageless.

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

I write within the age of my narrator, so I can see how the age thing could be misconstrued