Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread (Page 45 of 77)

Yes.  See my  return email.

Yeah, that's the great thing about mystery clues.  Though the ones about how many posts and how much of the library could be given more background.  As to the guard being alone ... I have no idea what to make of that.

Yeah, that part puzzles me.  Was 'puppy' under someone's Veil?  Did he not even know that Alda was with him?

Was the dog-breeding The Defilier's history?

Has The Defiler been that deep that long in the enemy camp?  Could the Order have survived with the Enemy as the Voice?

Oh, these reveals are going to hit the reader like John Dickson Carr's load of bricks through a skylight--or maybe like a flash-bang grenade.

The scoff can be Jaylene's mental reaction.  It can even give half the secret -- "She's not old enough for that.  NOBODY could be."

I'm not sure exactly what the problem is, but here is my opinion anyways.

Readers do not need to know all of this. Some readers may go, mmmmm, while others (like me) just reads and accepts.

So when all is revealed, the one group will go, I knew or at least suspected it!, while the other group will go, Wha?! WTF just happened here?! Whoa, that was sssoooo good. It all makes sense now, how did I miss all these cluwwss?

As long as it makes sense at the end, it isn't a problem and nothing needs to be fixed per say. If Amy changes everything for the latter group of readers, she risks loosing all the readers of the first group who don't like everything spelled out clearly.

Right out confusion is bad. Dribbling questions along the way is not. It's IMO brilliant writing.

As long as things add up in the end, all is good and well. So I have no problems with this so far to let readers figure it out at the same pace as Jay-bird. Amy can choose to let readers in with her secret too, but you can't have both.

When Amy is done with the book/or when the last piece of the mystery is revealled,  only then (if she decides to keep her readers in the dark that is) will I go: This doesn't add up, this doesn't make sense. But in the middle of the mystery being untangled? I'd give Amy the benefit of the doubt.

When all is revealed, an off hand comment for example by Lewellyn could be: yeah, I was wondering how anyone could read so many books! instead of Amy going and trying to work it in with say the library scene and (1) risks making it too obvious and (2) trying to make something fit in a scene where it doesn't belong and messing things up even more.

This is my 2 cents at least. Not sure it's applicable or makes sense though.

The thing I'm facing is that Ernie's reaction isn't a surprise. It has happened once or twice before. There have been a few others that felt kind of betrayed by Acts. Almost as if I'd wasted their time by making them read a book and not resolving the necromancer issue by the end. I'm writing a first draft so things will have to be added as I realize their importance (like mentioning that it isn't possible for someone to have read the entire library), so I think that this is a doable solution to my quandry.

I'm not being vulnerable. I'm just trying to wrap my head around how to finish this story in a way that satisfies. The visual I get is Lucas' ending of the 4th Star Wars segment, with everyone standing around at an awards ceremony and everyone laughing a a cute R2-D2. In other words, the main plot kept running in the background, but the first movie wrapped up with HFN (Happy for Now) satisfaction. (yes, Kenny, I learned that one from you)

I've always been good at telling a story, but finding the ending of a book is something that I've only managed once (with Acts). Ernie's reaction (which I consider valid) could be described as irritation. He has called it the never-ending story more than once.

While I know that I'm not going to satisfy every reader, this is still a valid critique. Largely because of Ernie, I've realized that I need to break Acts into two parts. The first will use the conflict with Alina as the driving action and end near or around the duel. The second book will pick up afterwards and deal with the necromancer presence as Anver figures out who is responsible and then explores the crypt after Alina's death. That way, I'll have a focused villain and a tighter plot line. I'll also have the ability to end each book with the HFN resolution.

I am thinking of adding more irritation on Jaylene's part as a way of helping the reader realize there are changes in store. Behira's mysteries are changing the way Jaylene thinks of her religion. Her Goddess has a few warts and these are becoming visible. There should be more outrage as Jaylene discovers these exceptions...kind of like writing Ernie's reaction into the character.

When I decided to make this the point where Jaylene gets a clue about Alda, it was me making the attempt to start a reveal without having everyone hit themselves (or me) in the head with a brick at the end. i'm still on the fence as to whether or not I've succeeded.

Kenny, I like the idea of having Lewellen mention trying the same feat as Alda and how he could never have that much time. That will be added.

Any thoughts?

Nonononononono.

Don't ruin the story to make it fit some other model!

My preference, which I hope you DON'T take (because you're doing this so well) would be to make it a single series of volumes with the threads cutting in and out in each.  If you want to think about it, do it after they're all written.

The biggest argument for it is that certain actions in Acts change the magical landscape and force the action in the other threads.

We know that there are weak sections in Acts.  It's a question of fixing them.

Big issue about making Alina be the primary villain throughout the entire Anver thread is that they need the crypt open to find Faulter's hidden room, as well as Zyrtec's prank jar.  If I made Alina a common thread for both books, she would have to be undead and aware, messing with Anver as he chased Maalok into the lower levels.

Did Maalok animate Alina and the two murdered students? Yes. But bring them back to a semblance of life and capable of using magic? Ooooo, dunno. Gotta think about that one.

My brain is all twisty now. Maalok is wearing a Horror. That much is revealed in the Shadowbook that Zyrtec left for Anver to find (in Acts). I've just revealed that Horrors are a piece of the Defiler (in Dictates). I've also stated that no one but the Defiler can raise someone from the dead (in Dictates).

Unlike Kenny, I like to follow my own rules. (had to get that jibe in, sorry K). So the question I need to answer is whether or not Maalok can raise the dead. I'm going to say that it is unlikely. Maalok's Horror is based on pride, while Charm is based on vanity (or lust-never commited to that decision). I don't think that Maalok would have the power required, even if he used the death energy of the murdered students.

Don't worry, New Jersey. I'll keep the pace going if Kenny's idea is worth my time. As to a book that intercuts all the threads as they happen, that is the way I used to write this story. I would do one chapter of each book at a time, syncing the stories. It just became a bloated monster, (Acts alone is more than 150K words). I haven't given the synchronous story idea up, but like you said, I have to finish the story first.

Up to this point I've been suspecting that Faulter is The Defiler, but then Faulter could raise Sosol to life.  So now I'm thinking that Faulter wants The Defiler's power for that purpose.

Either way, is The Defiler aware of Zyrtec?

That's a relief.

I really loved Alina. She is a great baddy. For my $.02 worth, I think Alina is perfect all the way through. The duel that finishes her off is fantastic. BUT, and here's my take: Alina is in the forefront of the story, and all sorts of assumptions I made, weather my own or prompted by the story, set me to thinking Alina was part of the larger picture. But she was just an evil independent shit all on her own power trip. In the end, this was a bit disappointing to me, and Maalox (sorry can't help the puns) seemed to be too, convenient. It would be so easy to plug her and her school into the larger picture of the endless search ancient mages and the story. Alina got a lot more press than the Johnny-come-lately Maalox. Alina's character was juicy and something to get your teeth into. She dominated most of the story, so I was expecting something more than the sideline she got at the end.

I think Janet points out that we all are different readers and have our expectations of what we read. Everybody isn't gonna like it, so you have to write it for yourself first, and the audience will come to you. Sometime as a reviewer, I turn into a reader, and then let my own proclivities interfere. I know, as a writer, you want to know what works, but on the other hand you can ignore what you don't like. You've said this before, and I remember that, and keep it as a rule.

So it's back to reading for me. I can't let you get too far ahead.

Ernie

Agree 100% with you Ernie! We are all different, an no one person is right and the rest wrong either. As long as you have readers who like it, it should be all good?

And anyone who says writing is easy needs a whack over the head, don't you think? There are so many ways to get to the end of a book, it's not even funny.

I should also get reading and reviewing too ...