Kurt Vonnegut: Eight rules for writing fiction

Gee, don't tell Amy about #4!  (And what about theme and thesis?  And humor?)

Very good rules, although I think I have most definitely failed on #8.

-Elisheva

I must disagree. You can "talk about the scene" (may I assume you mean describe a scene?) in action. You don't need to say it's raining and describe what a rainy street looks like.  Have your characters interact with the rain. You never need to describe a medieval city, even a fantastic, magical city.  Have you characters walk its streets and see the sights through their eyes.

Remember, the character always comes first. This is something George Lucas never understood or forgot. When Obi-won screams in fury, "You were suppose to be the chosen one! I loved you like a brother!" --we felt nothing. Zero.  Just a little 'well, that's how it happened.'

Fail, epic.

You're thinking of the last line. "And the killer is...THE BUTLER!"

That's not what Vonnegut is saying.  What he's saying is that when we learn it is the butler, we should never go, "No way! It can't be him." Instead, we should say, "Ah, yes. Now I get it! That's so cool!"

You may also be hung up with the phrase "To heck with suspense." Isn't suspence good? How else can we get the reader to want to keep reading! Indiana Jones has to hang from the fraying rope over a pit of hissing vipers.

Vonnegut is not talking about that. He's saying, "Don't hide the important stuff to make suspense."

Think of a murder mystery written in either the first person or the third person, single point of view when we are in the thoughts of the police detective.  We learn on the last chapter that the detective was the killer all along--and you throw the book against the wall and cuss like a truck driver at the author.  Why?  Because you NEVER have point-of-view characters withholding information. How had the POV detective somehow FAILED to even think about the fact that whoops, he murdered Johnny and Susan and Bill and Rodger and it somehow escapes their thoughts for the entire duration of the murder mystery?

Name one.

There is only one rule for writing:
All rules are guidelines!

True.  If you and your friends are the only ones you want to read your books. I am far too pussy whipped by the system to ever believe this.

1. You must not write in Third person omniscient.
2. You may not use too many adjectives.
3. You may not switch POV in Third person, single point of view.
4. You must avoid "was" whenever possible. You may never use "very" except in dialogue. 
5. You may not use any speech tag other than said, asked, answered or replied. 

Sure, break these rules. Be a rebel. Maintain that your vision and power and passion of your storytelling will trump all these pointless guidelines. This is YOUR art, YOUR way. To hell with what readers,  publishers, agents and editors want.

Have fun on your little island with a single palm tree. Maybe a cruise ship will pass by and see you.

I have not read what you are talking about, but based on what you've said here, your setting yourself up for a big fall. The only way for this to work is to introduce a THIRD character who doesn't know the secret and stay with that person all the time. Even writing something like:

Jennifer rubbed her hands in anticipation. When Bill discovered the secret she was keeping, he'd either run screaming into the hills or ask her to marry him right there and then. Just two more days. This was going to be so good!

Nope.  Can't do it. Won't work.

Of course, you can always try. I dare you to prove me wrong.

Regarding that last rule, I've actually been told the opposite on a few occasions, one of them being an actual Creative Writing 101 class.

I think all writing rules should be followed except when you are purposefully breaking one. I can't think of an example at the moment, but I've read books that have gone against one or two "rules" and it's actually worked. Thing is, the authors were obviously aware of these rules and went against them with intention.

-Elisheva

Ah, I see what you mean. Nice example. I guess my style of writing doesn't involve very many speech tags in the first place. I'm not very good at dialogue, so I generally lean towards descriptive writing.

-Elisheva

Whoa! No need to take my comment personally or read more into it and putting words in my mouth as a result.

My opinion that there are no rules in writing is based on the risk that if every writer followed every rule to the letter at all times, writing will become boring, formulaic and non-differentiating, so I view it as guidelines. Rules starve creativity. Guidelines are optional, a personal choice, a decision to take it on-board or not. You can call it rules if you want to, I don't mind. For the same reason, I can call it guidelines though which, by the way, is saying nothing on whether I am disregarding the advice or not.

Nowhere did I imply that good advice should be ignored at all cost either, just that as writers we need to be careful of blindly following so-called rules as well as handing out blanket advice/so called rules. Neither did I imply that all and any advice ("rules") are useless - just that so-called rules can be challenged and should be challenged. I like what Elisheva said and 100% agree with her: go against the advice, but purposefully and deliberately. She said what I said/meant, just better.

I also believe rules should never be thrown around at will without any regard to whether it is applicable or not - it's about context and relevance. And I have also seen many so-called rules being thrown around with very little basis to back them up or understanding why the so-called rule exists in the first place. In this thread alone quite a few "rules" that you have posted have been challenged. Does it make it wrong/incorrect? No, of course not. Just that (1) care should be taken when "rules" are promoted and (2) that if you do, expect to be challenged on them (and even for doing so "blindly"). For most, I think most writers are in agreement most of the time on what is good writing, so it's not all doom and gloom and lonely little islands (where one disagrees or have a different opinion) necessarily.

YMMV.

Haha, that last bit made me chuckle. I have actually read all of the 50 Shades books, primarily because the story itself was intriguing. I'm a sucker for a unique plot, even when it's poorly written. I even made it a book and a half into Twilight before I threw it to the wolves.

-Elisheva