Topic: style for internal dialogue, italics or not

So far, this is the best, more nuanced discussion:

http://theeditorsblog.net/2012/02/28/in … -thoughts/

Note that I gather the tone is: even if the italics for the purpose is around, it is unnecessary, and considering the Chicago Manual of Style does not include that method at all, it is understood that the style is not one that would be commonly accepted by readers or editors.

"Option #3, writing thoughts without italics, makes for the least intrusive read and is likely the best choice for most of today’s writers and for most genres. It may not be perfect for every story, genre, and set of circumstances, but it will work for many. Especially for stories with deep POV, that very intimate third-person point of view."

This my opinion:  an italicized thought in the midst of a paragraph is intrusive and probably unnecessary. It can work but in low dosage, perhaps once in a chapter.

--- (quoting from above cited discussion)
The following is an example of thoughts without italics from a third-person POV. In this example, the reader is not being told Montrose’s thoughts, but actually hears them as Montrose thinks them.

{Montrose tilted his head to get a clearer view of the hoyden behind Giselle. They looked nothing alike, these two women posing as his dead wife’s sisters. He dismissed both with a flick of his wrist. They also looked nothing like his sweet, sweet Margaret.

(no italics) Stupid, ignorant fool. Should have known better than to believe. Than to hope . . .}

There is no doubt that Montrose is the one thinking these thoughts.

Quote Post 1

Re: style for internal dialogue, italics or not

I read the Editor's Blog on internal dialogue. It was clear and informative. Thank, John

Quote Post 2

Re: style for internal dialogue, italics or not

John Byram wrote:

I read the Editor's Blog on internal dialogue. It was clear and informative. Thank, John

I think the discussion following is good to look through, too.

Quote Post 3

Re: style for internal dialogue, italics or not

KHippolite wrote:

Sure, I'll bite... What do you think of the case where the character's voice differs from the narrator's voice?


In the example . . .
_____
(1) Montrose tilted his head to get a clearer view of the hoyden behind Giselle. {italics, character}They look nothing alike. He dismissed the two of them with the flick of a wrist. {italics, character}And neither looks like my Margaret.

(2) Montrose tilted his head to get a clearer view of the hoyden behind Giselle. They looked nothing alike, these two women posing as his dead wife’s sisters. He dismissed both with a flick of his wrist. They also looked nothing like his sweet, sweet Margaret.

{character} Stupid, ignorant fool. Should have known better than to believe. Than to hope . . .

____

So what do you mean?

The verb tense was changed to be the same, but the character voice sounds different than narration mainly because of the incomplete-sentence, choppy style. New paragraph, too, with a transitional phrasing at the end of the first paragraph.

Quote Post 4

Re: style for internal dialogue, italics or not

KHippolite wrote:

Sure... now let's give the character a stronger accent. In this example, italics deliberately left out for purposes of the exercise:

Montrose tilted his head to get a clearer view of the hoyden behind Giselle. Them two dames aint no look nottin' alike. He dismissed the two of them with a flick of the wrist. Aint no look like my sweet Margarat, neither.

So, your point would be that sometimes an author needs neither italics nor tag?  It works in the above example because of the "He dismissed . . ." portion. If the paragraph ended with "... nottin' alike" I think a tag is necessary. Otherwise, with or without italics, it is too abrupt. Making sure the omniscient narrator's voice is different than the MC's voice is a different issue.  As a rule, if not written in 1st person limited (which is limiting) I think a worse story is one which has the same style of language throughout, very short stories and memoirs excepted.

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