Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

amy s wrote:

You know more about your job than they do. Therefore, you are the expert. Deal with it :-)

Of course yes! And that's why I also get paid the big bucks, right? *looks at payslip and shakes head* not! smile

Don't get sick - you or anyone else! And good luck with the seven shifts!!! I'll have heaps of sympathy for you when I sit in meeting after meeting this week! smile

652 (edited by njc 2015-08-10 03:54:05)

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Don't get all meeting'd out by the PHBs.  It's what they do.

http://www.design.caltech.edu/erik/Misc/balloon.html

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

OK, Dirk. I managed to publish chapters 1-8 of Mandates. However, I didn't have the right settings and I can't go back and publish them for points. If you read these, I'll pay you back in spades. At least I have them up where you can view them.

Sorry for the beginner mistakes. This has been rewritten once, but that was almost two years ago. It would flow a lot better if I had time to rip it apart before reposting this.

Hey, everyone…I'm going to the Chicago Writers Conference again this year. Good thing no one took me up on going there last year. I was as sick as a dog and spent most of the lectures leaning against a wall, trying to stay awake.  At least I didn't throw up. That would've made an impression.  However, I'm going to give it one more try. I figure it'd be fun to have a weekend where I do nothing but think about writing.

I don't get too many chances to work without distraction. Anybody interested in driving/ flying out there?  It is the last weekend in September.  Just thought I would throw the idea out and let you guys think about it. If you don't go, then find a conference close to home. It makes you think about things/ publishing/ format/ ideas for pitching…that you wouldn't have come up with on your own.

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

I'm on it as soon as my pupils can see straight.

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

I'm wearing a disguise if you keep finding ways to kill me in print :-)

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

I probably won't be able to do serious reviews for 20+ hours.

In general, I still have all sorts of problems with the openings, less with the confontation.   Once we get to Tell Me True you have a compelling story, even if there are parts to be tweaked.

A few questions: How much do you want to depend on the reader having read Acts?  What do you want the reader to understand about Kha and the circumstances when he reaches Aerie?  What do you want the reader to understand about Kha and the circumstances that cannot be expressed in 120 words of clean exposition and narrative summary?

So, what state of mind was Kha in when he took the Black Staff?  Did he do it willingly?  What do other characters (like, say, Anver, but excluding Lucas and Maalok) know about how Kha found and said about the Black Staff?

How important, truly important, to the characters and the plot, are Kha's distrust of herbals?

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Followup to the previous:

If you want a hook to the other books, this one should open in a way that lets you mention the mysterious way in which Kha was healed -- except that he wasn't.

I just realized the thematic links.  If Kha was supposed to die in his dragon-killing, and if the agency is Behira, then Sil's acceptance mirrors Behira's acceptance.  But id Kha was supposed to die, then he posed a grave threat to Behira, and that suggests that the Earthwound and the Black Staff are a part of that threat.

Was that blackness a fragment of the Defiler?  What about Airen's magic ring?  That's got to be there for aomething.

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Complicated answers to those questions. Not ready to share just yet. I only put those eight chapters back up because Dirk needed a reference and wanted to start at the beginning. They all need major rewrite. I apologize again. When I read them, I cringe. My learning curve has taken me past that level or writing and they all need some major attention.

I'm seriously thinking of adding the Anver/Earthwound chapters to Acts. It just makes sense and is a distinct part of his story.

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Acts is already pretty long.  Even 1200 words would stretch things.

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Fie on you both!

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

KHippolite wrote:

Airen's Ring... now as you know, Airen is secretly Behira. I can tell you the story of her ring...Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,

Seven for the Dwarf-lords in Aerie stone,
Nine for Mortal Mages, doomed to die,
One for the Dark Queen on her dark throne
In the Land of Tos Gwsa where the Shadows lie.

One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to summon the creepers and in the darkness bind them.

You show great promise as a writer, K. Do the worms get their own book, BTW?

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

If I weren't laughing so hard, KH, I would curse you and recurse you!

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Have you heard the song by Sally Oldfield? That almost sounds like it would be her lyrics. (Songs of the Quendi)

NJC, cursing K doesn't work. He's in Canada. Curses don't cross the border. It's illegal.

664 (edited by njc 2015-08-13 04:30:19)

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Instead of adding to Acts, why not put vignettes from Kha's arrival at the curses ward and his writing the letter to Anver in Mandatea, leaving the healing as a mystery for Acts?

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

I'm a curse and I crossed the border just fine. They even gave me a little card that says I can stay for ten years. Of course now they want me to pay $450 to renew it. Screw  'em. I can collect disability just as well from Nunavut. Get the spare room ready for me, K. I'm coming home!

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

I've dumped a few thoughts on Mandates into reviews.  The gist of it all is that this is Kha's story, and anyone else you introduce should be either part of the story or a means of telling the story.  Or both.

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Point taken, NJC.

Too funny, Dirk. Poor K. Guess you're going to have to teach Dirk how to game and role-play.  Apparently, curses travel like bacteria. This one seems to be airborne...

668 (edited by njc 2015-08-14 09:40:21)

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Not sure now why this came to mind ....   https://youtu.be/n4Bn5TDcN_I

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

K is going to have to teach me how to spell all those ou words. Also, I'll need help with the pronounciation of z and about.

Safe for work: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRI-A3vakVg

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

Norm d'Plume wrote:

K is going to have to teach me how to spell all those ou words. Also, I'll need help with the pronounciation of z and about.

The key to it all is that 'receipt' is used in the old sense to mean 'recipe'.

'Victor Emmanuel, peak-haunting Peverill, Thomas Aquinas and Dr. Sacheverel."

This is the same Wm. Schwenk Gilbert who once rhymed with 'executioner' 'diminutioner', 'ablutioner', and 'you shun her'.

Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

njc wrote:

Don't get all meeting'd out by the PHBs.  It's what they do.

http://www.design.caltech.edu/erik/Misc/balloon.html

You had to go and mention meetings now, didn't you njc? I never have meetings. Maybe one or two a week. Maybe. Not this week, it was meetings all day long, every day, even over lunch .... Which sounds worse than what it really was, because they gave me food on 3 out of the 4 days, so I guess it's okay. I'm so easy/cheap. On so many levels. *sigh* I'm just glad it's weekend, and this week is over, I don't like meetings. Although I suspect you're with me on this one all the way! wink smile

Speaking of weekend, Amy, are you done with your shifts yet?

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

If Airen is convinced only by Ganolin to trust Kha, then when she goes off up the mountain with Kha, her memories might still give her misgivings.  We should see her holding something back in Tell Me True (great invention, BTW) and telling Ganolin what tomdo if Kha comes back and she doesn't.  Sil and the cleansing of Kha should mean more to her than is heretofore obvious.

And Kha's acts with the Black Staff and his training of an army may be what make him so dangerous to Behira ... and his cleansing and choice would reverse all that.  Zyrtec knows more than Big B.

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

I'm in the middle of the seventh shift right now.  Tick tock. Watch the clock.  Tomorrow I can choose to get things done or sleep and do nothing. I think sleep will lose.

K, Thanks for the ideas on the novellas. Bims used to advise me on doing a non-typical format to get all this material across. I need these ideas since I wouldn't think of them myself.

Love the ideas for making Ganolin's character more of a participation in this story, too. Just have to get time on a computer when my brain isn't fried.

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

janet reid wrote:
njc wrote:

Don't get all meeting'd out by the PHBs.  It's what they do.

You had to go and mention meetings now, didn't you njc? ...  this week, it was meetings all day long, every day ...

It's what they do.

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Re: Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread

What is a PHB?