Re: Maiden and other stuff
It's what you don't see that sometimes works more gooder. Originally I did have more details but decided to forgo them. I think it works better.
- Kdot
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Re: Maiden and other stuff
Actually, it's not the word module I'm chasing, but rather the words around it.
Consider:
Bob picked up the module and plugged it into the outlet
This tells us very little about what's going on
Bob picked up the power module and plugged it into the outlet
This tells us the module is providing energy
Bob picked up the drilling module and plugged it into the outlet
This tells us the module is a tool and it (probably) requires energy
Just seeking a sprinkling of words to help maintain the fictive trance. Otherwise, I'm stopping to try to think what's going on.
I think you've discovered the same with aliens. Some readers are happy to hear a few details and make up the alien around them. Some readers need coaching. Some need coaching and reminders. I'm probably in that last group. If I was reading a star wars book and saw "The Ewok wagged its tail" I'm off to google to find out if Ewoks have tails. Or, at the very least, I stop reading for a few seconds and think about it.
This it why I've suggest replacing module with something. It might help you see it with the confused reader's eye. "Bob picked up the electric something" will probably jump out at you and you'll know what words to put around it to clear the confusion
- Dirk B.
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Re: Maiden and other stuff
I'm rereading Wuthering Heights. Lots of expressiveness to the eyes, including this latest: eyes full of black fire. As Temple once noted, it's not the eyes, but the muscles and folds around the eyes that give them expression.
