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amy s wrote:I'm jealous of all your free time. FYI, the hemorrhage of talented people in my department is continuing. We lost another one to vascular. I may be moving back to Cleveland if this keeps up. However, there was a job in Tacoma, WA. How far is that from you, Janet? I might interview there just so we can get together for dinner.
That's actually two hours from me. 
In fact, I visit Tacoma once or twice a year since our main office is located there.
-Elisheva
The Prince Caspian vibe is appropriate. No rush. Get feeling better!
I really should be writing current events, but that one was lurking in my mind for far too long.
-Elisheva
Norm d'Plume wrote:K. wrote:Indeed... the loss of power to the group is somewhere on the scale between Deanna Troi and a Red-shirt.
What would STTNG be without her watery eyes and heaving breasts? It's the closest Star Trek ever came to porn, unless you count Klingon mating rituals.
As far as Star Trek goes, you can't forget Seven of Nine. 
-Elisheva
janet reid wrote:It's official. Amy, you're writing my obituary. For anyone getting married, I also recommend getting Amy on-board.
Roger.
We have totally stolen poor Kennedy's thread. I think we scared her off. 
-Elisheva
amy s wrote:Elishiva Free: (Alias: the Dragon Lady) is new to the site. She has grown up so fast (sniffle) in the course of her participation in this group. She started out so, "Hi, I'm like a new writer and, like, I'd really like to get better." Since then, she has developed OPINIONS, and they are cool. She is writing about dragons, so she must be a good person.
Bwahahahahaa! This is why I love tNBW (and you, Amy ). Oh my goodness, I can't stop laughing.
"The Dragon Lady" is probably an appropriate nickname. If I had my way (and loads of $$$), my entire apartment would be decorated with dragons and maybe a few fairies. The best part? My other half has no issue with this.
-Elisheva
amy s wrote:My Heart? Sibling? Twin? Eggmate? Other Half?
I think is important that they recognize each other as sibs and not mates. That links them by family and they don't recognize each other as outsiders.
Good point. Maybe I'm just trying too hard on this one.
-Elisheva
Yes, but I'd like Noi and Dea to call each other by some sort of nickname pertaining to their bond as clutch-mates. Like in this little tidbit in my chapter The Hunters:
Long after the suns had disappeared over the horizon, Dea found herself lying upon the riverbank, gazing at the moons much as she had the suns that very morning.
What do you see, dear sister? Noi affectionately twined his tail with hers, strengthening their connection.
For some reason, "sister" doesn't seem quite right. I feel like it should be something a bit less ordinary. Maybe I'm just being picky?
-Elisheva
Alright, so I have had a few comments (positive and negative) on the Dragons calling each other brother/sister, so I've decided to tackle the Dragon family-names challenge. To be honest, Dragons are primarily independent creatures and could care less about their exact heritage. Ancestors and elders are to be respected, but the father/mother of your clutch is irrelevant. On that note, however, some Dragons form bonds with their clutch-mates (like Noi and Dea). Calling each other brother/sister seems too Human, but the only other thing I can come up with is clutch-brother/sister, which seems a bit clunky, especially in dialogue.
Suggestions?
-Elisheva
Work is slow this morning.
I agree with NJC. It's a neat story, but it feels like you've crammed two or three chapters into one. You also seem to have the same problem that I do with doing more "tell" than "show". (Seriously, this is a hard habit to get out of. I am constantly struggling with it.) Instead of stating the relationships between characters, show it. Have them converse about their past or use nicknames indicative of a long-standing relationship.
-Elisheva
Looks like you got it published, but there's no points for it as yet. Probably need to add it to the Premium group.
Also, DRAGONS! *fangirly squeal* I am most definitely reading that chapter after (or maybe during ) my shift tomorrow.
-Elisheva
Yes, it does.
No worries, Amy. I haven't even started reviewing your work, though I have read bits and pieces.
-Elisheva
Wheee! New chapter. For those that are confused by the chapter number, I'm adding two chapters between "Just Another Day" and "The Hunters". Those will be posted as they are completed.
-Elisheva
Hey NJC,
I believe I did start that Flying and Flight section right where Melayne is introduced to the Clans. It's been a bit since I reviewed that section, but I remember most of it. I'm still having trouble with so many character names though. They are starting to get familiar, but just barely. The story kind of loses its wonder when you start listing off all these strange names that I feel I should know already, but don't.
Hope that makes more sense.
-Elisheva
KennedyMcF wrote:Thank you njc for that info. Now I'll try it and hope that I can do it. I saw on another thread that someone quoted LTUE, is anyone going to that this year?
I had to look up what LTUE is, but now that I have, my pouty face will not go away. 
I wish I could go!
-Elisheva
I've kind of been poking around at random. I'm very good at wandering into the "construction zones". I'll head for that section next.
-Elisheva
njc wrote:General rules for online forums: "On the Internet nobody knows you're a dog." Nobody can see you smile or grimace as you write that cutting reply. Nobody sees you laugh at that cutting remark directed at you..
Maybe that's why I use so many smilies.
Welcome, Kennedy! I look forward to reading your work!
-Elisheva
Haha, thanks Janet! My grandpa is okay, though we get to learn all kinds of things about dementia now. It's a good thing him and Grandma moved closer to us.
Somehow, it makes me feel better that you aren't caught up with my story. lol, I swear I have about five different chapters that are only half-way complete, so I feel like I haven't been keeping up on posting my work. Also, as soon as I finish one or two of my chapters, things are going to get reorganized. Hopefully it'll work out.
-Elisheva
Thanks! I am so OCD, I have serious difficulties reading things out of order (which is funny since I write things WAY out of order), but I will do my best.
-Elisheva
njc wrote:That I might have four or five comments per line is not an issue, as several reviewees can attest.
Surely, I know not of what you speak. Seriously, though, every one of those comments are very helpful.
-Elisheva
Not sure how the other groups do it, but in medieval/fantasy, we start a thread for our work and post there when we need feedback on something specific. It's worked for me so far, though I'm still a bit of a newbie as well.
-Elisheva
I was half-way through a review on your first chapter this morning. Just finished.
-Elisheva
Hey everyone! Sorry I've been MIA. My grandpa had a stroke, so I've been extremely busy with the family. I've barely had time to lurk the forums let alone review or write a whole lot. Going to try and make it a point to spend a bit of my morning on tNBW, though, now that things have settled a bit.
I know I'm not the greatest at reviews, but if anyone wants me to poke at something specific, just let me know.
-Elisheva
Well, I was totally planning on catching up with your work today, Amy (though I'm sure you have many reviewers with more skill than myself), but then someone decided to blow up the equipment on their yacht and all my downtime at the office just went down the drain. I'll get there, I swear!
-Elisheva
That makes sense. Thanks, Amy. I was getting a bit discouraged, writing things so far out of order. (I have snippets that are practically half-way through the story) It's good to know I'm not the only one who's struggled with it.
-Elisheva
At this point, I really just need to write more. My chapters haven't even reached the double digits yet. I am so very slow and unorganized. Practice, practice, practice! I'll get there, I swear!
-Elisheva
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