What a waste of time ...

I bought a few books to read since we were going to travel for hours and hours to the other side of the world. While I (sort of) enjoyed the first two books of a specific romance writer/NY Times bestseller - only minor slip-ups that could be ignored - the third book was a complete waste of time and a massive disappointment.  I give you 1856 meets 50SOG.  I kid you not.

I'll start at the beginning:

Desperate circumstances forced our heroine to work as a governess.  She applies for a position with a notorious rake who is also the father of a young daughter - if I've ever seen an oxymoron, that was it.  He turns down her application because she's too pretty and he suggests she should rather use her beauty to find *cough-cough* a whole other type of position.  But of course, her eyes (!!!!) were so mesmerising and no lady ever slapped him when he tried to kiss them, he had to find a similar looking "lady" to have some fun with.  Meanwhile, damsel in distress turns to her previous employer, a notorious courtesan who managed to marry a stinking rich peer who died and left her rich beyond measure.  And instead of giving our heroine a new job, she helps the desperate lady to find this "whole other kind of job".  Really????  At this point I started to doubt that I'd be able to finish the book (and books really need to be shitty before I'll consider not ever knowing the ending). 

In any case, so the rake and heroine meet again.  And this is where things really got out of hand, because see, he likes spanking his mistresses, and binding them to his bedposts, and to pleasure them with not one, but two porcelain dildos, etc. etc.  I don't have a problem with that per say, but from here on the heroine unruffled completely.  Divided between her pride and "liking" the spanking, between being a "good" girl yet liking feeling "dirty", and finally, falling apart because she's such a strong person while she just could not understand why/how she could like and allow to be dominated in bed ...

I did finish the book eventually.  But it was painful.  Especially the epilogue where the untutored little mouse made a 180 degree turn and then dominated the "strong" hero ... who was tied to some dilapidated summer house or something, and wasn't REALLY tied up for most of the time while she showed him how it's done.  I'd much rather go through another visa application than read that book again. 

The book, in my opinion, could've been saved (somewhat) if the heroine accepted the fact that she likes, and it's her choice, to be dominated.  Or maybe not.  But two guesses to each of you to try and get the answer to the first question my husband asked when I started to tell him how crap the story is:  When do you think it was written, before or after 50SOG?

But it's not all for nothing.  I've found refuge in the knowledge that even NY Times bestsellers should REALLY workshop their writing, and to be honest, if she can get that drivel published, so can I get my writing published.

The book was "The Earl's Mistress" by Liz Carlyle (I hope I'm allowed to do this!).

Not all lost as I've also found another author I really like to read in the process, for anyone who likes historical romance novels, I'd suggest trying Eloisa James.  I've only read one of her books so far (Four Nights with the Duke), but she's definitely on my list if (when) I have time again to read.

On this note, is anyone else suffering from "TNBW syndrome" when they read these days?  It's the condition where one can't switch off the "reviewer" switch and make mental notes of feedback to the author as you read ...

It would be great to hear from everyone again!  And it's great to be back, although I won't have as much time to spend on reviews as before.  :-(

Cheers Janet R

She could have called it 'Fifty Shades of Earl Grey'....

I can definitely sympathize. I've been taking a break to read more, and Facebook adds pop up with free books. Who wouldn't want a free book, right? Needless to say, all of those stories, though free, were not worth what I paid - my time. They were horrible and most I never made past the first chapter before I deleted it from my kindle. I've learned so much from TNBW that I constantly find myself wanting to comment and edit everything I read. I've even struggled to finish most of the greats lately (i.e. Nora Roberts, Heather Graham, Catherine Coulter, etc...) - granted they have some excellent early novels that made them big, but lately all are lacking. I want a story I can get lost in instead of feeling like I'm just wasting time.

The last published story I read that I couldn't put down was "3-2-1" by JA Huss. It's a dark romantic suspense, basically a train wreck that you can't look away from and extremely sexually graffic. The psychological twist at the end will blow you out of the water and explain it all. I read that in December, and since then, I've read more than 25 others that I honestly can't tell you anything about because they were wasted time.

I've since started to download samples of books before I waste my money and that has helped. With the EXCEPTION that the trend in books now seems to publish 1 story broken down into 3 or 4 books instead of just putting the whole story out there. I hate that trend! I've revolted against anyone that does that and refused to buy the second book. I want a happy ending - that's why romance is my choice of story.

All this to say, it's up to the author to take the initiative to make a story great and TNBW will help. Because of those horribly written stories can get published then so can mine.