Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi → Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread
It represented your logic around Jaylene perfectly!
The pic you've added ... if that's for njc's tea pouring scene, it needs heaps more dotted lines and you also need to delete the conclusion/solution including any guesses and or clues. And if you by some kind of miracle figure it out, please share. You don't even have to be gentle or humble about it!!!
Sigh.
The most convoluted of the Ellery Queen mysteries may be The Greek Coffin Mystery. That is the standard against which you should measure such things.
I just added this comment on one of WB's inline comments on Vigilence:
Amy, those rogue links are the result of a bug. They look like some ad-linking software has gotten hold of your story.
It has been blamed on problems pasting from your text, but having it appear ONLY in the inline review presentation indicates that the problem is more likely in the TNBW software. IMO again, you need to bring this to Sol's attention. You can quote what I just said.
No! Not the wine!
OK, do you guys want me to weigh in on this debate?
Thanks for the advice about the software glitch
I've lost track of what we're debating. Somehow Alda and Behira's Veil are conflated with Master Threckesrom's tea, except it's not his tea, it's the documents he has Kirsey sign ... only there's wine and not tea, and The Family Circus has become the venue ... I'm telling you, it's like this.
And yet Tolkien felt that the meeting with Tom Bombadil was one of the most important elements of LOTR.
So this isn't about me?
To clarify...I intend that the Veil will be clarified in Dictates. It runs through the other books, but isn't the main theme because the focus isn't religious.
K, I think that New Jersey has stated that he intends to reorder many of his chapters to different books. He isn't necessarily doing a plot. He's doing a bunch of character sketches in a timeline. I did the same thing with my books when I was outlining them. I could see a specific scene and knew that ex: Kha and Airen were on the mountain at the same time Jaylene resurrected. Initially, I wrote both scenes and had them included in the same book. After I assembled enough material, I realized the book was going to be a fricking bible and I split it into three.
Most of my scenes are in the stories but others didn't make the cut. I expect it'll be the same for him, whether he realizes it or not.
I think it's wonderful that your characters are being given a say in the plot. Pat yourself on the back for this because I think it's an evolution in your writing.
My problem was different. I could see the scene but since I'd written the action, I didn't especially want to write what happened in between. Writing in a linear fashion is something I've only been able to do for a couple of years. Before that, I just wrote about the drama and didn't peg stuff together even though I knew what would happen. That might be why Acts is strung along for the first third of the book. Once I got to the action, it moves a lot smoother.
Oh, NJC and Janet. I've integrated your suggestions for 'Saving Tazar.' Took me long enough. Work smeared me for the last string of shifts, so I just limped home, fell over and then went back to the coal mines for more of the same. Today, I changed the ending slightly. Janet's point was good. I hadn't left the reader with any idea of what the rest of the story would bring. That's been fixed.
A
I told you why I created Kirsey. I needed a hermit. But you can see his abilities and his alignment. And you really should get what's happening in the scene with Master Threckesrom. It's hit-youself-on-the-head-once-you-get-it obvious. I think you're handicapped by lack of practice with good mystery stories. Go get the Complete Father Brown and immerse yourself a hundred-plus short setpieces. Or the Ellery Queen radio plays: The Adventure of the Murdered Moths and other stories.
Good changes, Amy. I still think some tweaks can crank it higher. I feel another review in my belly.
Oh, and any connection between Merry Tom and Jar-Jar is through a degenerate line, probably involving orcs or trolls. Tom he is the Master, though blithe he be. Jar-Jar is a comic and ultimately tragic clown cast deep into the ensemble..
How woode!
Strictly speaking, the machine is a derrick, of which the winch is a part.
Point taken.
I just wrote the intro to the next chapter of Dictates. You're gonna love it!
I still think that a publisher would say that Mantle of Magic is too easily confused with Mandates of Magic. Maybe Mantle of the Mage?
Mantle of Magic is supposed to refer to Anver wearing a 'mantle' and all that implies. In hindsight, it will mean something, but I see what you mean. I'll think about it.
Hey, (wheedling tone) I put up a new chapter! Do you have time?
What do you want reviewed in exchange for all the time you've been putting into my book?
Jar-Jar huh? English please!!!! Won't you please think of the new kids around here?!
Amy, if you think njc's got a point, I'd like to suggest Mantle of the Veil ... or really just any title using "Veil" will work for me ... Only a suggestion of course! 
Mantle of the Veil?
The Veil of Magic? (This is more for a different name for Dictates)
Hmmm. Thinking....
As long as you use Veil, I'd be happy! I thought you were going for a "M" theme, but Dictates sorted that one! 
How's about something that downplays the role of magic since you've decided magic is to be a means only and not the point?
I can't recommend anything for Dictates yet but...Anver's story:
War of the archmagi
Of Omens and shadow books
The Wizard and the catacomb
The Wizard and the Big Fish in the Catacomb?
Here, fishy, fishy! 
Okay, I can't find that post either ... and forgot to say I've now been introduced to fishing Alda style! Not recommended for sensitive readers 
No good ever comes of a Big Fish in a Catacomb, and I don't say this only because I reserve a healthy fear of all things marine, but mostly because I do.
Standard contract between me and great whites contains the following in BIG print:
I stay out of the water, they stay away from land.
It works most of the time, except during summer when Perth orbits hell ...
Can I steal that line? Except in the summer when Tos orbits the Hells. Sweet!
There is something in the US called 'hogging' . Google it. Idiots down south go hunting for catfish while using themselves as bait. When I saw that, I laughed my butt off and ran to the keyboard. I couldn't make that kind of material up.
Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi → Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread
