Acts/ Dictates/ Mandates/ Mantle - Amy's Thread (Page 8 of 77)

Why would I pick on you for treating me the same way I rip apart your work?  I'm impressed, actually.  The fact you notice these things in my work will translate to yours.  The descriptions of pace...frugal words during combat sessions, etc.  I approve of the evolution in your critique.  Now I want to see that kind of improvement in your own style.  You've taken a distinct leap in what you can see in someone else's material.  Time to put it to use. 

(I did roll my eyes when you told me to add description and that the reader has probably forgotten the bit about the pivot rope/ needed a reminder.  Horrors...TWO descriptions of the same person or event?  Isn't that redundant? :-)

I think this is a really good suggestion (coming from the ignorant one who hasn't read any of the other books yet).

I can take it.  K has been ruthless but I keep throwing stones back at him and decided it was fun.  I've said it before.  What good does it do to not be honest?  How else can I improve?

If we both go off site, we'll be holding hands and skipping.  lalalalalala

I"m going to rip through the last few reviews of this and adjust a few things.  I need to change the ending of this chapter.  Just a little, but something that leads into the priorities of the next section of this book.  I also need to add in all those yummy suggestions.  Thanks for keeping this book in the back of your mind and sharing the stray thoughts@

A

Point taken.  K can take off his own pants instead of trying to make Jaylene's disappear.

Let me amend a previous statement.  If K and I leave the site, we will go hand in hand a skip away.  Then I will trip him.

Some ideas are just too toxic ... .

tsk tsk, from no pants to tutu - this is what I call a 360 degree turn where in reality you should be aiming for a 180 degree turn ...  At this rate you're going to have to deal with Tazar AND Alda (and remember who picked who up in chapter 11 .....)

edit - but in any case, I second K's tutu proposal - not sure who's going to convince Alda it's the way to go though .....

S'OK. I'm just trying to visualize Alda in a tutu. While I'm at it, I turn Kajo back into a kitten and put a tutu on him as well.

(Sits next to Janet and takes a bite of popcorn to enjoy the show as well)

Matthew wouldn't wear one. "Forsooth , what be this?"  (Black John though...)

Black John in a tutu ... *spits popcorn through the air and wins the contest without even trying*. Amy, you do know that Johnny is really hairy, like in back, shoulders, even his foot soles? *slaps choking amy on her back, popcorn fly through the air and amy is the new winner* good luck getting that mental picture out of your head ..... And for the record, I kept that mental picture civil, over a beer in a bar somewhere in the middle of Bellingham and Cleveland, it would've gotten way worse!

Apologies for slightly going off topic, but it's not as if njc has left me and K with many options ......

But on that, and I doubt I'm only speaking for me here, keep that male perspective that I do forget or get wrong coming! You guys are doing great work!

Amy set it up AND completely forgot about the crowd.  And a prison of all places! But I think it's safe to say she's well aware of it now ....  If I had an easy fix, I'd be sharing, but personally can't see Jaylene going in wearing anything more than underwear unfortunately ... So your comments about keeping it brief to show she's earned their respect is the best outcome IMO.

And to be honest, they will find someone in Hollywood to play the part too. Compared to 50 shades, this is tame.

So an under-layer is showing through.  Read Fishing in the Catacombs.  It's a hoot--a hoot an' a holler.

(Hoot-and-holler is phone tech jargon for a line without a dial that rings the other end as soon as it is taken off hook.)

WAIT!  Where is Fishing?  I can't find it anywhere. Amy, did you withdraw it?