Re: The Archangel Syndrome
"Your destiny is to create Neo Eden."
- Dirk B
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Re: The Archangel Syndrome
Kdot wrote:
"Your destiny is to create Neo Eden."
Zzzz. :-)
- Dirk B
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Re: The Archangel Syndrome
George FLC wrote:
The Liberal Way.
Your destiny is to create the ultimate proletarian society.
Long live the working class!
EDIT: I have similar wording from God in the previous draft of Act II (and from Michael the Archangel in my latest draft) when Joseph asks what kind of society he's supposed to create.
NEW: No successor to the Garden of Eden is complete unless everyone runs around naked.
That's one of Joseph's first design decisions. :-)
- Dirk B
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Re: The Archangel Syndrome
I have a tricky problem with the distances between ships in my space battles. Unless they get close enough to the terrorizer to be caught in the blast, the risk is substantially less. And yet 1400 meters is nothing, as K noted in his review of part 1. They should have improved their tech long ago to allow supernovas to fire from greater distances. Not sure how best to make that plot hole go away. Ignore it?
- Dirk B
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Re: The Archangel Syndrome
I still hate the alterphasic cannons in the opening pair of chapters. It's nothing more than a miniature Death Star weapon. In other words, a type of laser weapon. Yawn. I had a chat with Gemini about how to improve the tech, and it suggested making it into a weapon that can fire tiny black holes. Instead of the new cannons punching huge holes all the way through the ships with massive energy blasts, I could have mini black holes rip through the ships by tearing apart (via intense gravity) anything within a short distance from the black holes such as the ships' hulls. I'm sure something like it has been done, but I can jazz it up with energy siphoned from the alternate universe. I was hoping to declare this novella done very soon, but the alterphasic cannons are so lame, I hate the idea of leaving them in the story. It would probably take only a few days to figure out the new tech and write it up.
- Dirk B
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Re: The Archangel Syndrome
Quick vote: I never really liked the Electi for the elite Imperial guards since it's too evocative of the Elected, rather than the Chosen. I went back and forth with Gemini and "we" came up with the following list. :-) Any preferences?
- The Fideles - the Faithful
- The Ultima - the Ultimate Ones; the meaning in real Latin is farthest, last, or final
- The Terminati - the Terminators (we're talking serious guards here, lol); the meaning in real Latin is ended/completed
- The Domini - the Lord's Own (not necessarily a reference to God, so it works with Imperator); also evocative of the Dominant Ones
I'm leaning toward the Terminati (I'm a sick puppy) and the Domini. Domini I think is best if I wanted the ideal serious name. But since this is a demented story, the Terminati would work well too.
Thoughts?
Dirk
- Kdot
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Re: The Archangel Syndrome
The Fiddlers = No
The Ultima = I can work with this, but the constructions will get weird
Terminati = Ok
Domini sounds like leaders to me
- Dirk B
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Re: The Archangel Syndrome
What did you think of my previous post about replacing the alterphasic cannons with something less Star Warsian?
- Kdot
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Re: The Archangel Syndrome
Didn't rly notice it. As I recall, the cannon doesn't have a huge footprint going forward, so it may be a waste of energy to chase the terms around
- Dirk B
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Re: The Archangel Syndrome
Yeah, they appear only in the opening pair of chapters, which actually makes them easier to change. I don't have to worry about breaking something ten chapters further into the story.
Compare that to Connor, where I'm eliminating the idea that he is Christ returned as a boy in favour of him supposedly being the Staff of Christ, which is a kid prophesied by Saint Augustine who will be in "harmonious communion" with Christ to carry out Christ's will on Earth as if Christ himself were here in person. In theory, Christ would do this to lead as many people as possible to the safety of the Church at the last minute, followed immediately thereafter by the final judgment.
In reality, the Augustine prophesy was written by Satan in the early fifth century, setting up the arrival of Connor in the distant future.
This change has the potential to break a lot of stuff. Should be fun. :-)
