Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi → The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B.
Don't start with me, K. You were the one who complained about banking. jI'd have Amy's edits done by now if I didn't have to invent omnithrusters. You should see her edits, BTW. There are a few words of my chapter peeking out here and there from between her inline comments. :-)
White chocolate w macadamia nuts...the all-in-one breakfast.
It isn't criticism. It's a sign that I like you and want your book to kick ass and take names. I was trained to critique by JLiz. She had a harsh eye but made me better. I owe her. So I pay it forward. (Hopefully:-)
Amy, nobody gives better feedback than you and it's greatly appreciated! I'm not in your league. Please keep it coming.
I'm planning my post-battle wrap-up and was wondering whether Earth's Governor Hadisius should have played more of a role in the past three chapters. His only appearance is a brief audio exchange with Lupus where he tells Lupus to fight the Ark and destroy Apollo. Other than that, he doesn't do much even though he has a vested interest in the outcome since he conspired with Lupus to overthrow Apollo. I was thinking I should have him take command of the first wave of ships when Lupus goes off to fight the Ark. He could then flee when Lupus is killed and Caligula surrenders.
Thoughts?
Never mind. It's done. Easier than I thought.
Yabba dabba doo! Amy's edits for chapter 35, Apollo's Faith, are done. Now to clean up Joseph's Sword, then Caligula, and then I get to write new sh*t.
Yabba dabba doo! Amy's edits for chapter 35, Apollo's Faith, are done. Now to clean up Joseph's Sword, then Caligula, and then I get to write new sh*t.
Please let me know when you post the new chapters and I miss it!
Amy's edits for chapter 36 are done, too. (Collapses) Still need to clean up the Caligula chapter, but not tonight. I thought briefly that I had killed off too many Realm characters (they're pretty much all gone except for Joseph, Paul, and Christian). Fortunately, Apollo and his mother know what the Realm planned and why, so they can explain it all in the post-battle chapter.
Amy, I wanted to follow up to your inline comment pointing out that a flesh eater burn would probably cauterize the wound, preventing bleeding. If someone's skin is burned so badly that the ribs are showing, would there be no bleeding whatsoever? Do I need to pop the spleen, or is that likely to be fatal (it will take time to reach the character and get him into surgery)? I'd like to keep it as simple as possible, gory, and cool. 
Dead skin doesn't bleed. It has been cooked. You debride down to living tissue and that is where it starts to bleed. Now, all you have to do is cook the rib cage and make a sucking chest wound. That is dramatic.
Spleens are invisible. You can't see the bleeding. They just pale up and die.
Oh dear. I've been bleeding out my characters since chapter one whenever they get hit.
I think I need an asspull.
Flesh eaters that fire energy-like bolts, also referred to as blasts, with cool sound, and that cause serious bleeding of bodily flesh, including heads and hearts exploding. But not you're basic burning type SW blaster. Also good at blasting apart the occasional inanimate object.
Thoughts?
Slicing blasts like s lazed that carves flesh rather than rsising the temp and burning? It actually disintegrates rather than burning.
What is an s lazed? Are you typing willing snorting necrotic tissue again?
Thanks.
Dirk
Thanks. Correct me if I'm wrong, but a laser can't cause a head to explode, which I need for the Joseph's Sword chapter.
Perhaps the laser struck a neural implant?
A maser might, especially if it were tuned to the resonance frequency of water, the way a microwave oven is. The wavelength is about 10 cm, so focussing will require a largish aperture.
The eyeballs would pop first, I expect. And if the heating isn't fast enough, the soft openings would probably vent the pressure before the pop.
My chapter definitely implies that it can work on anyone (Lupus, Caligula, ...). More fun that way.
How about bolts of nanoids created on the fly inside the weapon from air molecules and/or a resevoir in the weapon? The impact of the bolt causes unprotected heads/hearts to explode, and the nanoids eat what they land on (e.g., boarding suits and skin).
Anybody know what some of the most common building blocks are to create nanoids? I know K is using them for healing.
Most would suggest carbon. It's available in abundance from cells, allowing for replication. Probably need a bit of silicon (not sure where theyd get that) and iron (easily obtained from the bloodstream). In my story, they latch onto the mitochondria for juice
Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi → The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B.
