KennedyMcF's thread (Page 3 of 4)

I may not be entirely accurate, but I'm going to attempt some advise-giving here...

In my opinion, the easiest (not the only) way to get a reader to care about a character is to make them relatable. This doesn't mean making them your average Joe or just a regular chip off the ol' block, otherwise no one would care about my dragons (and we all know everyone loves Noi. Or, at least I do). Instead, they need to have a uniqueness about them that the reader can relate to, whether that's through themselves or others. For instance, my dragons are not only siblings, but complete opposites. Dea has a temper while Noi is happy-go-lucky. Either of those traits, or even their relationship with each other, can be relatable to the reader.

In your first chapter, you have two best friends, which is a great thing for the reader to relate to as most of us have at least one good friend in life. I would have them converse with one another as they climb down. This would extend the chapter, avoid taking anything away from the action, and give the reader some insight into the characters.

If you have any troubles squeezing it in there, try writing just dialogue first and filling it out afterwards. That's how I wrote this short story: https://www.thenextbigwriter.com/postin … ance-21833
That first section of dialogue was what I started with and all the description was added later. It really helps to get the scene going as dialogue writes much faster than anything else.

-Elisheva

Uniqueness for sure too. That makes it also really hard to swap characters around! So, this, like so many other things writing, can be done many different ways. Don't get too lost in deciding which way to go - let the story and the characters sort that out if you can!

Thanks everyone for all the input, I have been thinking on how to put in more of Alex's story, to make her "special" from the get go, but with being in third person limited POV I worry that there isn't anything I can reveal that she herself knows.  Duncan has more info than she does, but she doesn't know that, and he isn't going to reveal till later. There is an element of I want to find out what happened to my father, but none of this has anything to do with why they are rappelling into this chasm.  Maybe I should edit and post the next few chapters and then come back to this later?  I think I might be worrying too much about this one aspect and it is staunching my creativeness.

Can you work from her relationship with Duncan?  Why are they rappelling into the chasm?  Do they each have the same reason, or do they differ?  What might Duncan reveal about himself?

Where does your story fall in OSCard's categories of story: Event, Character, Idea, Milieu?

I see you've been blessed by a review by TW.  She's a very good writer, but she can be a brutal reviewer, intolerant of any style but her own and any errors she would not deign to make herself.  (And she's p****d at me because of a forum conversation and blocked me from her work.)  Consider her specific comment on their merits, but don't let the rough stuff get you down.

I fantasize about meeting her in a writing workshop where you have to start by saying something positive about the other person's work.  But that would be cruel.

She really is very skilled, and it ought to be an honor to be reviewed by her.

It would be easy for me to be as harsh--I am that harsh in some interactions, and sometimes harsher.  But there are so many people with wonderful story imaginations here who need to develop 'craft' and  I want to see those stories told well.  I often feel I've pounded someone far too hard, and I often get thanked.  It hurts that someone with TW's skill doesn't see things the same way.

The irony - she doesn't give two spits what other people think and will write her story 'her way', but gets heavily upset when people do not take her suggestions on board and insist they want to write their stories 'not her way'. It's a good thing she blocked me, because I don't deal very well with people who don't get sarcasm, wit, and irony. (This explains by the way why I love you guys ...)

The shame is that if she really has good writing skills (I don't know since I'm blocked) and can contribute to improving the writing of others on the site, the majority of any good feedback she gives is lost in 'how' it is given - she can't distance herself from her own writing style and voice when she reviews, and it's a HUGE problem IMO. It will seldom be constructive and impossible not to be offensive if not downright patronizing unless she is reviewing work that is written in a style very closely relating to her own. Added to that, it will take huge amounts of time to do reviews like that, because she is essentially re-writing every single word on behalf of the author ...

I disagree with njc that his reviews are as harsh or harsher. The one review she did for me was just simply not worth sifting through through 100 comments to find the 3 that was applicable (that's why I blocked her - because for whatever reason, she blocked me and then reviewed me WTF? that indicates a whole different level of trouble I'm not competent to deal with) - the mileage of others may be different and it's worth to them and I say, good for you.

NJC's reviews, sure, don't sugar coat anything, but I seldom find anything I can disagree with (and believe me, I try! LOL). So even if it is delivered with very little 'finesse' (general comment, not applicable to njc as anyone who has been reviewed by njc knows despite what he thinks), his reviews are still CONSTRUCTIVE because he is not insisting that I should write my story like he would've. And the majority of times, he explains his reasoning behind his comments. Without that, the teaching is lost and the review and time spent on the review are a waste.

Just my 2 cents.

I disagree with him all the time. Mainly on my reviews of his own work, where he informs me why my advice is wrong. The interesting part is when he changes my mind and makes me agree about his choices. It doesn't happen a lot, but I learn a lot when it does. Then I throw a shoe at my keyboard.

I go through a lot of keyboards this way.

I keep on missing my keyboard, that's the good news. The wall on the other hand, not looking so good.