Topic: NorthernSkies or NS - Janet

Hi everyone

I've taken a short break from writing and the plan is to get back into it this weekend (in case anyone was wondering).

In the effort (started by K.) to direct all Google searches to darkness, I have changed my pen name to my initials and have removed the space between Northern and Skies. You can still call me Janet, but I'd appreciate it if you could refer to NorthernSkies as NS or without using the space just to be on the safe side. Thanks! smile

I also have a problem and would appreciate opinions on this.

So given that all Matthew's leads have ended in dead ends, the plan is to have a fair which in theory should make it easier to attack either Matthew or Anthony. My thoughts were there would be plenty of people around that would make it really easy for a bad guy to blend in. Now obviously he isn't going to shoot Matthew in the middle of the archery contest (it's only a sweetener so to speak and to reduce the number of suspects since our bad guy s really adept with a bow) with hundreds of people around. The whole idea is to make it easier for him to get to Matthew or Anthony on his own time.

I'd think it would be draw for anyone planning to kill Matthew or Anthony. I mean, he can walk about openly carrying a bow and no one would bat an eyelid because there would be a lot of men walking around with bows and arrows.

So one review left this comment:

Now Catherine's plan is for a big party including an archer match to what, flush out this guy?  And this guy is the one who stole Matthews' arrow.  Explain to me in detail just how this is gonna work.

So I don't understand what is so hard to understand. Is it really that difficult? You have a fair and hope the guys tries something and you can get him. Or is this is a stupid/flawed idea?

I'm not against changing anything, but the brilliance of the fair is that all the suspects will be there and will be mentioned, so it's ending up to be a nice summary of everyone who 'could've done it'. But if a fair isn't a logical or reasonable or believable way forward to try and catch this guy, it needs to go.

The same review also asked that I need to clarify that the bench that Catherine and Matthew are sitting on, is not in public (yes, Catherine will sit in public in her chemise ...). So I don't know if this person is just being difficult. And this person has been on my back so far that I need to go into much more detail when Matthew interrogates people and that he need to be much more forceful (the one with Alice, Isaac's sister, the 12 yo girl who overheard the first conversation at the abbey ruins is valid - a lot of reviews picked up on that insisting it should be a scene in its own right and not just a thought/backstory), so I don't know if this is another one where people are thinking this is a Historical Mystery (does this even exist?!) instead of realizing or remembering that this is above all a Romance.

Please help before I rip all the hair from my head!

Thanks!

ps - I'll try and catch up with the forum, I've been lurking in the background, but not too much, so I need to get up to date with all that's happening! Hopefully this weekend! smile

Quote Post 1

2 Reply by Elisheva Free (edited by Elisheva Free 2016-02-10 20:47:12)

Re: NorthernSkies or NS - Janet

I'm not all caught up on NS yet (unfortunately), so my suggestions may not be valid, but here goes. wink

From what I understand, you're holding an archery contest so that many people will be walking around with bows, giving the culprit an opportunity to walk around with his own bow without looking suspicious. That makes sense. Then, in the archery contest, many names will be announced and your characters are hoping to find the culprit among those names? If that is so, what if the culprit attends the fair without actually participating in the contest? Then you've given him an opportunity without any benefit to your protagonists. How does this help their investigation? Are they hoping to stumble upon the culprit by chance? That may be what is confusing your reviewer.

Hope that helps. smile

-Elisheva

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Re: NorthernSkies or NS - Janet

I think you're brilliant Elisheva, you're  spot on! What is missing is the 'exactly what are we hoping for' and the 'what if it doesn't work' angles/thoughts/discussion. Easy enough to fix, thank you!!!

Basically, they do know it might not work, but deep down inside M is hoping the villain will try something during the night ie steal some more arrows or even try to kill him or Anthony. And that's not entirely clear in the chapter as it stands.

And also, before it was 'relatively' easy to steal his arrows, but now not so much with everyone on the lookout for suspicious behaviour. The bad guy can still do it, but they're covering all bases so to speak. Need to be clear on this too!

Ha! I like it when it's easy. Taking this all out would've been a b#tch.

Thank you! smile

Quote Post 3

Re: NorthernSkies or NS - Janet

I'm torn on the question of the focus of this book. You want Romance to be the focus. The mystery is secondary. You've explained this to me in a way that I get your quandary. I understand that you want to focus on C and M, so the other characters don't need to be developed.

So, knowing that…

The faire is a cute idea, but I don't think it would be called that. This is a contest…a competition…where rank is put aside so that the best archer can be found. I think it is a clever idea (probably C's doing), to draw out the bad guy. It narrows the field if you can get all your suspects into one place at one time.

IMO, this book is both a mystery and a romance. You've got a firm grasp (pun intended) on the Romance aspect. The mystery (small M) still needs to be fleshed out (pun intended). What you describe as dead ends…that is something that I describe as missed clues. Adding more information with the little girl…that is just more fluff to confuse or to direct the reader. Each one of these events has info that can be linked. What M and C need is the links to combine the clues and narrow the field.

Maybe this will help. Here is what I've got so far.

The assassin/ killer:

Is likely male. A woman doesn't have the strength to pull a longbow.

Is an adult. See above.

Is either nobility or he serves nobility. The accent heard by the little girl requires this.

Works alone. This is a key piece to me. This person leaves his home, travels for days without a support of guards (C's attack in Chapter 1). Here is the kicker…this person wasn't missed. You can bet that Anthony can't go very far without being recognized. Remember how they were able to track him down with the tavern wench? There is no privacy as a noble. Servants know when your horse is missing…when your period starts…when you are pregnant…when you had sex…when you didn't…

Is likely unmarried and without children. People who have something to lose usually don't risk a vengeful lord killing them.

The above (to me) implies a high level servant. Someone who takes messages where they need to go. Someone who has the access to steal the arrows (or bribe someone to do it with M's own money). Someone who has training outside of M's world, so that M isn't aware of the archery skill. Someone he wasn't raised with.

Soooo. This drastically narrows the field based on the available clues. Each 'dead end' only requires the other pieces to make sense. There doesn't need to be a great amount of Mystery (capital M) involved.  This allows the story to come to a head (pun intended) at the archery competition. IF (and I'm still uncertain) the manservant is responsible, then M is trekking about the competition looking at arrow fletchings while C is in a tent and at the mercy of the hired help. Then you have an AHA! moment while M has to dash back to C and save her. (or maybe C has already saved herself).

Since you have a mystery that you want to last three books, then perhaps the manservant is on the take, providing the real bad guy with the M's arrows. That way, you can string everyone along so that Anthony gets his story.

I think this is an acceptable compromise. You have a solution to the problem you presented in the beginning, but you don't have to spend a gob load of time on forensics.

Hope this helped. I'm REALLY trying to help you solve this dilemma of Romance, romance, Mystery, and mystery. Let me know if this helped.

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Re: NorthernSkies or NS - Janet

Amy, lots of good guesses. A few REALLY good ones! You're spot on right up to the man-servant ... smile I'm not saying anything more!

The mystery isn't going to last 3 books - but all three mysteries have a 'starting point' in the first book (that's the connection between the 3 books), but each book's mystery will be revealed in that book specifically and solved in that book. I'm writing it as a series that can be read out of order and independently if that makes sense.

Mmm, just have an archery contest straight out? That is something to consider, but it might be too obvious again and not have the same sizeable crowd? The fair has purpose - the church will get a new roof - so that's easier to 'explain' than just organizing an archery contest out of the blue!

*SPOILER ALERT*    *SPOILER ALERT*

The bad guy will not be revealed at the fair (that's the major twist). But he will use the opportunity to force Matthew's hand ... I just need to get the fair chapter written and posted and then the fireworks will fly.

And also, Matthew saving Catherine, Catherine saving herself, or Catherine saving Matthew. Now the list of options is complete!

Overall, I read your comment that if the Mystery climax (pun intended) with the archery contest or shortly after, it works for you. Is that right?

And yes, you are helping and has been a great help too. You know your strengths, and you also know that with you on my side the Mystery in the Romance will be best it can be!

Appreciate it!!!

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Re: NorthernSkies or NS - Janet

Nobles who come to a contest between themselves and other noblemen BRING THEIR SERVANTS WITH THEM. That way, they will fill the crowd. Making a dedicated contest on short notice is kind of a hard thing back then. However, if there was a big festival that happens once a year...that is entirely different. Maybe something celebrating Easter, the Summer Solstice, or a king/queen's birthday (depending on who is king/queen during this book) would be a good starting point for the festival. Then you have the people arriving anyway...why not add in a contest of skill?

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Re: NorthernSkies or NS - Janet

There will be two contests at the fair. The idea is to have a 'grand' prize for the archery one. That's already in. (It's scary how you predict what I'm already planning to do or rather how much we think alike but overall not bad at all since it's independent support and approval that I'm on the right dirt road!)

What I like is your idea of it being planned already. So I can go with either 'not cancelling' after Geordie's death or with holding it a few weeks earlier than planned because M can't sit around and wait. Or maybe both.

When I looked at annual festivals nothing happened around this time. I'll check when it's Lizzie I's b'day. If all else fails, I'll make up an annual fair that's a Norwood tradition. I might have to ask for ideas here ...

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Re: NorthernSkies or NS - Janet

I answered a couple of your questions in new review comment replies.

Quote Post 8

Re: NorthernSkies or NS - Janet

Occasions for Norwood residents:

M's birthday.
Solstice
Religious holiday
Patron saint day (renamed because Lizzie1 had a father who kicked the Catholic Church out of England.) that way, you can make it a holiday for anything you want.

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Re: NorthernSkies or NS - Janet

njc wrote:

I answered a couple of your questions in new review comment replies.

Thanks! Got it.

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Re: NorthernSkies or NS - Janet

amy s wrote:

Occasions for Norwood residents:

M's birthday.
Solstice
Religious holiday
Patron saint day (renamed because Lizzie1 had a father who kicked the Catholic Church out of England.) that way, you can make it a holiday for anything you want.

It's a problem though - that would mean it's not Catherine's idea ... and I kind of liked that. Having the fair/celebration a bit sooner would work, but won't be as good as it being her idea and she fully owns it.

Just when you think you're ahead ... sad

Religious holidays/saint's days - timing is out for any of the recognized ones (and I don't want to invent something new so close to reality, it will be too easy to be taken as a research fail?). I can probably change the time to coincide with one of the holidays, but not too much, otherwise it's going to be winter too soon or winter too late for Black J's book. Solstice - probably the same ... dammit, I like that one.

M's birthday ... will work.

So what do you think about Catherine proposing a fair vs. proposing to move it sooner? And it will have to be way sooner, otherwise they can just as well wait a couple of weeks or a month and hope for the best ie no input from C needed - and way sooner equals obvious but probably the same as having a surprise party.

The church needs a new roof ... that's the current excuse.

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12 Reply by njc

Re: NorthernSkies or NS - Janet

Can the need be linked to some damage related (overtly or covertly) to the villian?

Quote Post 12

Re: NorthernSkies or NS - Janet

Dirk, I was pretty close to you valley this week for work, like in *spitting* driving distance ... Went to Edmonton as some of the engineering for my projects will be done from there. It sounds like I'll be taking a few trips this year too. Not good for writing, but good for work and great to see a bit more of Canada! Didn't have time for any touristy stuff this time around ... Hopefully next time!

So I have a lot of catching up to do ... The good news is that I have created a spreadsheet (K will be super proud) to manage my reviews because I just have no idea who I owe how many when. In that regard the old site was a little bit better, but I have a new plan! smile

njc, hope you're better!
Amy, how's work?! Still the same?
And the rest of you?! Except K, it's hard work to be mysterious! wink

Quote Post 13

Re: NorthernSkies or NS - Janet

njc wrote:

Can the need be linked to some damage related (overtly or covertly) to the villian?

Deliberately? Because that would require them having to know who the villain is ...

Quote Post 14

Re: NorthernSkies or NS - Janet

Work is still the same. In 3 months, I don't know what my job will be, where I will be working, what my pay rate will be, or who I will be working with.  In other words, I'm rather unsettled right now.

You and Dirk had better meet on one of these trips!  Drink a glass for me!

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Re: NorthernSkies or NS - Janet

amy s wrote:

Work is still the same. In 3 months, I don't know what my job will be, where I will be working, what my pay rate will be, or who I will be working with.  In other words, I'm rather unsettled right now.

You and Dirk had better meet on one of these trips!  Drink a glass for me!

Calgary is within driving distance. It would be AWESOME to see Cal and Dirk. But who will drive? LOL I have driven recently, but he's used to driving on the wrong side of the road! wink

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Re: NorthernSkies or NS - Janet

amy s wrote:

Work is still the same. In 3 months, I don't know what my job will be, where I will be working, what my pay rate will be, or who I will be working with.  In other words, I'm rather unsettled right now.

You and Dirk had better meet on one of these trips!  Drink a glass for me!

Work sounds shitty. And def not the way to treat people. *shakes head* Next voucher is for wine.

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Re: NorthernSkies or NS - Janet

On another note (180 degree change in subject), I found two possibilities to play Matthew in the movie (that NEEDS to happen as I would love to meet them LOL) ...

#1 Sullivan Stapleton (Aussie Aussie Aussie)
Might have to darken his hair, but that's doable vs changing his eye colour
But he might be too old by the time I finish writing LOL

#2 Tyler Hoechlin
Good alternative, very close to #1 ...

And saw Rose Leslie in The Last Witch Hunter ... I think she might work pretty good for Catherine

So now I just need to write the books, sell 50 million copies and wait for the movie deals to roll in! LOL

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Re: NorthernSkies or NS - Janet

AJ Reid wrote:

On another note (180 degree change in subject), I found two possibilities to play Matthew in the movie (that NEEDS to happen as I would love to meet them LOL) ...

#1 Sullivan Stapleton (Aussie Aussie Aussie)
Might have to darken his hair, but that's doable vs changing his eye colour
But he might be too old by the time I finish writing LOL

#2 Tyler Hoechlin
Good alternative, very close to #1 ...

And saw Rose Leslie in The Last Witch Hunter ... I think she might work pretty good for Catherine

So now I just need to write the books, sell 50 million copies and wait for the movie deals to roll in! LOL

Bring out the pompoms and I'll cheer while you write, 'kay? wink


-Elisheva

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Re: NorthernSkies or NS - Janet

Elisheva Free wrote:

Bring out the pompoms and I'll cheer while you write, 'kay? wink

-Elisheva

I'll reserve one visitor pass to the set just for you! LOL

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Re: NorthernSkies or NS - Janet

(Jealous)

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Re: NorthernSkies or NS - Janet

amy s wrote:

(Jealous)

Goes without saying, a VIP pass has your name on it! So I hope you're ready to rub shoulders with A-listers! LOL And also, given that I've sold millions of copies, I'll pay for the flights, hotels and wine! smile

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Re: NorthernSkies or NS - Janet

Same back atcha. I pinkie swear!

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24 Reply by njc

Re: NorthernSkies or NS - Janet

For Janet: http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20120730

Quote Post 24

Re: NorthernSkies or NS - Janet

njc wrote:

For Janet: http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20120730

LOL, I hate it when oil pumps get clogged up! wink

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