Titles in The Pendragon and The Beast of Caer Baddan (Page 6 of 9)

The movie 300 came out 9 years ago, although I didn't watch it until a few years after it came out. I have friends who watch a movie with some guy that's 10+ years older and they "ooh" and "ahh" at him, but I just never understood. I can see why they are attractive, but I couldn't tell you how attractive if I was asked.

Not sure that makes sense, but I've always been that way. Too far out of my "radar" and I just can't give an opinion.

-Elisheva

Oh, good question! Scathach herself is really just a "cameo". But I have used her school for two purposes. One is to build the schism with Drech on one side and Enhinti's friends on the other. Enhinti is currently working for the rival school to Scathach's. Drech being accepted by Scathach thus extends this rivalry. The second purpose is to get rid off the "Cunedda's sons are unworthy" problem. In the first book Drech fights five of Cunedda's sons one at a time and beats them all. In the fifth book, Drech will fight the youngest son who turns out to be a true contender. That last chapter with the school (hopefully) explains why the youngest is so good. Mainly because he got taught at a really famous and secretive school. If you don't feel these things are worth a whole extra chapter though, definitely tell me!

Rebecca, keep in mind that I'm late to the party. I've only read book III and now book IV. It seems to me that you have a (REALLY) good reason to have this scene included - I like how it extends the rivalry/tension between Drech and Enhiniti. I guess Drech doesn't know that Enhinit works for the rival school? *snickers* That'll be good!!!! In any case, no need to delete it - it has purpose. I'd probably change my comment then to maybe foreshadowing or hinting (subtly of course!) at some of this purpose and reason for having this scene. As it stand now, and this is only my opinion, it reads kind of out of place and I couldn't make out what the purpose of the scene was. So if you add something, as I say, subtly, for the slow ones like me, it will very likely make my whole comment go away.

Hope this helps/makes sense! Janet

I can change the spelling to "Sgathach" if you think that is better? Let me know!

I've left a few extra comments on the latest chapter's review! Also, I'm starting to see how compelling writing trumps everything else. Despite all the "oopsies", I still read each chapter eagerly. That said, I have made some really brilliant blunders myself! And that's why we're here, for others to give us a fresh set of eyes and tell us where we have missed things! So we're all good, no need to feel bad!!!!

I can also add in a little with Drech's thoughts. Better? Even more needed?

While the servants made fires, Drech and Orson talked.
“You shall have to be careful with this charade, Drech,” Orson said. “A man's training, upbringing, habits, always come out.”
“I was born a prince and am playing one,” Drech said. “I doubt anyone will suspect I am more, unless one of the knights calls me Dominus' or an Eire has seen me before in Albion.”
As he spoke, Drech realized that both situations were highly likely. The sooner he got to Teamhair and addressed the Ard Ri the better it would be.
“Perhaps,” Orson mused. “Yet you have adapted to your role as Pendragon, and I believe that does come out in your behavior.”
Drech could not help but smile at his mentor's words. Less than three and a half years before, he had to convince Orson that he was ready to claim his inheritance.
But a new thought spun in Drech's mind.
We can tell a man's true upbringing by the way he behaves!
“Excuse, me, Lord,” he said, aloud. “Captain Samyl, Sir Elisedd, I am in need of your assistance.”
The two men rose immediately and followed Drech away from the camp. When they had walked far enough away that Drech was sure the rest of the party could not hear them, he addressed Sir Elisedd.
“You read in Latin, Sir-Knight,” Drech said.
Sir Elisedd knight hesitated, knitting his brow in confusion. “I… do…”
“A Gewissae knight,” Drech said. “A Saxon 'ridend' learn to read in Latin. I do not believe it.”
“I had an excellent education, Dominus.”
“Too excellent, Sir. Speaking Latin and Brythonic one might expect in this age, but to read so fluently in Latin? You must have had the best education in Gewisland!”
“King Acca paid for my tutoring,” Sir Elisedd replied. “He was most generous.”
“That is generous,” Drech mused. “That he should pay for a knight to have a better education then many a prince.”
The Giwessae's jaw dropped and for a moment he could not utter a sound. “I… do not–”
“Chose your words carefully, Sir,” Drech warned.
Sir Elisedd sighed, surrendering. “I am no knight. I am a prince. I am the Prince of Tiwton.”
“King Acca's heir,” Drech mused.
“Yea,” Sir Elisedd muttered, reverting to the language of the Saxons.
“You should have told me.”
“I obeyed my father's wishes and joined your cavalry in secret,” Sir Elisedd replied. “How could I then tell you I was a prince?”
“You could because you had to,” Drech said. “Lord Orson did not choose you. He picked all of the other men to be in my Guard, but not you. I picked you. I told Orson that I wanted you to be in my Guard because I trusted you with my life.”
“And now you no longer.”
“How can I? When dozens of princes on both islands want me dead, and here I find a secret prince in my own Guard!”
Sir Elisedd nodded in silence.
“Go back to the others,” Drech said. “We shall not speak on this now.”
The Gewissae went without another word, and Drech turned to Captain Samyl.
“What do you think?” Drech asked.
“I do not know, Dominus,” the Captain replied.
“Neither do I.”
###

But a new thought spun in Drech's mind.
We can tell a man's true upbringing by the way he behaves!

This and removing the section break before 'When Drech had walked a distance away' work better in my opinion. You can even, for the really slow-witted ones like me, rub it in just a tad more, but this is all up to you ...

But a new thought spun in Drech's mind.
We can tell a man's true upbringing by the way he behaves!
Why haven't I noticed it sooner?

Or some such. It could push it too much again as the other two changes are already an improvement and gives me that 'missing link' I've missed the first time around. This could also only be me ... so if everyone else 'gets' it, you might not need to change anything else.

You made the comment that you don't understand why people care about using the word, 'dinky', in a historical fiction book set in pre-medieval times.

I had the same feelings because I write a character in my books who uses a more modern speech pattern. It is a contrast to the more formal speech used by others on my medieval setting. I did it on purpose, but people would always point out certain phrases that stuck out as too trendy.

All I can say is that another person's work makes the issue glaringly obvious. These words stick out. They just do. And when I have to stop reading and say, "Huh?", then the flow is interrupted. Kinda like hitting a speed bump on a highway.

I suppose I can replace "dinky" with "scanty". What I want it for the General's speech to resemble his personality. He is mocking the enemy, so I want a word that sounds funny (even if it is not actually) and sadly there aren't a lot of words that I feel bring that across.

I guess my real question is, what is the criteria for words being too modern? I suppose that each people has their own ideas on this, but I seem to get a lot of contradictory advice when it comes to what words to avoid.

I don't think you need to set the cutoff at 200 years.  WWII, or even WWI (100 years) will do, with room to spare.  The word 'role' entered English somewhere around then, I think.  C.S Lewis put the French hat on the 'o' when he used it.

My nemesis is 'tosspot'. Apparently that isn't a drunkard any more in the UK at present, it now means wanker.

Hahahahahahaha! I was thinking of common words like "care"...