The 'Do Not Discuss List'

corra's hair-do

To Kill a Mocking Bird. Novel, Film or T-shirt

Atticus Flinch. A fictitious (malformed cardboard, sounding-board) character.

Far From the Madding Crowd (2015) - HA!

Dill's fear of penguins.

This myth follows me around and and seems unshakable.

Just for the record, I don't fear penguins, I despise penguins, and as such penguins should fear me.

I am not frightened by the prospect of getting very close and personal with a penguin. I simply loath the creatures and would merrily cull the animals if such an opportunity arose. By cull, of course I mean mass slaughter with a claw-hammer or chainsaw.

As much as I hate penguins, I despise the way that the remote public masses and media seem so fond of them. Seen as some kind of adorable, comical Spanish waiter of the fat midget variety, with their legs bound together four inches above the ankles and wearing flippers as they waddle uselessly around. That is not fondness, that is extracting fun from the afflicted. 

Whilst serving in the British armed forces, I spent some time (four months) on a remote Antarctic island called South-Georgia.

This is the view;

It is like that if you turn 360 degrees, for as far as you can see.

At first the sight is awesome but you soon realize that these things eat only fish and that they shit constantly. The excreta they produce is beyond description in terms of slimy mess and stench. They squawk whilst they shit and do nothing else except squabble and they never stop. Six hundred thousand of them trying to huddle as close as they can, shitting and squawk squabbling. During the mating season they indulge in extra shitting and more vociferous squawking. I would challenge any soul to exist for four months within close proximity of these creatures without developing a loathing for them.

The fact that they swam in intolerable numbers is compounded by just how plain useless they are. The colonies seem to attach themselves to breeding grounds that are in totally stupid (illogical) places where they struggle to get to the sea and back in order to feed. "As daft as fuck." is the way the penguin colonies on South-Georgia were described to me by a resident penguin expert.

A joke of evolution; a flightless bird. What is the point of flightless bird? As idiotic as the concept of a fish that cannot swim.

A shitting squawking paradox; they swim well but are useless on land with their stupid hobbled legs and flightless wings.

They swim well but cannot stay in the water. They cannot breathe underwater and are Orca and Leopard-seal bait when in the sea. On land, they are both useless and ridiculous.

They don't make for good pets and they are no challenge to hunt.

The only good thing about penguins is that they provide sport and protein for killer-whales.

I don't fear penguins, I sneer at penguins.

http://www.bimmerboost.com/attachment.p … 1318289168

Misappropriation of a phobia or fear overrides the do not discuss rule and that is clearly stated within the unwritten rules, just as 'you must always respond in context to, or direct response to, the word immediately preceding your entry....' is unwritten within the 'invisible' rule within the 'say the first word..' thread on the other channel.

J.R.R. Tolkien, magic, elves, hobbits.

(I took the liberty.)