Topic: Lesson Five

The lesson is up http://www.thenextbigwriter.com/posting … cter-21972

Enjoy and have a great weekend!

Re: Lesson Five

Hi LA:

You want us to pick a different scene, not the one we used in lesson four, right?

Wyatt

Re: Lesson Five

Wyatt Goodwin wrote:

Hi LA:

You want us to pick a different scene, not the one we used in lesson four, right?

Wyatt

Any scene you wish--but keep it short, and please, take your time. I don't expect to see anything until mid-week because it takes time to practice it. Good luck!

Re: Lesson Five

LA,
I was thinking, would it be helpful to post both a before and after version?
I'm going to work on a completely different scene than what I posted in lesson 4, and I think by doing a before and after will help show (whether or not) I mastered the lesson. sad

Re: Lesson Five

I like CJ's suggestion--I plan to use something else as well (and no foreign setting this time!)

Re: Lesson Five

LOVE the suggestion CJ--let's do it!

Re: Lesson Five

And speaking of doing it, anyone have any questions about lesson 5 so far?  It's a tough one, but so worth the time.

Re: Lesson Five

C J Driftwood wrote:

I think by doing a before and after will help show (whether or not) I mastered the lesson. sad

You won't master the lesson this quickly so don't be too hard on yourself. I've been using it for years and wouldn't consider myself a master at it yet smile

Re: Lesson Five

I figure I have a looooong way to go before I master anything but I'm learning all the time and for me that's the important part right now. It's so different creating characters and writing dialogue from the hundreds of narrative reports I wrote before I retired.  Wasn't allowed to include any emotions or personal thoughts.  Even how people were referred to had to be done in a certain way.  Hopefully, I'll eventually break this mold:)

Re: Lesson Five

Randy, I have confidence that you will because you are both aware of it, and work very hard at breaking the habit. Unlearning is more difficult than learning for the first time--but you will get there.

11 (edited by Wyatt Goodwin 2015-10-22 00:14:15)

Re: Lesson Five

http://www.thenextbigwriter.com/publish-posting-22029/

Okay, here is my 1st submittal for lesson five! This was written as a complete short story over the weekend. Then I went back and applied this lesson to this section only. Based on how poorly I did on lesson four, I have my doubts on how this is going to go over. THIS IS THE 'AFTER' VERSION!

Re: Lesson Five

http://www.thenextbigwriter.com/posting … tent/22030

AS REQUESTED, THIS IS THE 'BEFORE' VERSION OF LESSON #5

Re: Lesson Five

Here is the link to my "before" dialogue.  It's taken from a short story I wrote for TNBW's Superhero Contest.  I'm now expanding that story into a children's book and this will be included as part of a chapter.
http://www.thenextbigwriter.com/posting … mple-22031

Re: Lesson Five

I've posted lesson 5- Old version goes first, followed by the revised version. I've also added some character info at the end- I'd like to know if after reading, does the dialogue sound plausible between these characters. And is there any thing I can do to strengthen it?

http://www.thenextbigwriter.com/posting … sion-22032

Re: Lesson Five

Here's the link for my revised dialogue.  Still working on it, so will try to get a further update posted today, time permitting.
http://www.thenextbigwriter.com/posting … ised-22033

Re: Lesson Five

Hi LA,
Many thanks for the feedback.  It will take a long time to break the expository writing habit--my 34+ year career required that style, so I don't think I'll break it overnight.  Still, will keep trying, and I've enjoyed this lesson (as well as the others).  Regards, Randy

Re: Lesson Five

Randall Krzak wrote:

Hi LA,
Many thanks for the feedback.  It will take a long time to break the expository writing habit--my 34+ year career required that style, so I don't think I'll break it overnight.  Still, will keep trying, and I've enjoyed this lesson (as well as the others).  Regards, Randy

You're right, it will take a while, but you are certainly on the right path to change it. Kudos.  And I can relate, I live with a technical writer who thinks I need to hear about PSI concerns when leaving me a note to about turning off the sprinklers when I get home. smile

Re: Lesson Five

Hi LA:
Just want to thank your patience with me, although I detect I am wearing a bit thin on you, as well you should!
Why could I not have had you for my english teacher. Probably because you were not alive yet, when I was in High School. You are not going to believe this but I did terrible in english. Okay, so you do believe it. What I did learn about english and grammar I learned on my own over the years. Obviously I learned it wrong and have had 50+ years to practice doing it wrong. I've heard it said, 'It takes 21 days to break a habit,' which may explain why I am making some of the same mistakes.
I am not making excuses, all the evidence points to me. I am trying to let you know how I got this way!
Thank you for helping me break this habit!
Wyatt

Re: Lesson Five

Wyatt, you're fine...it takes a lot for someone to wear thin and you aren't anywhere near that bar. Whether you know it or not, each time you work on an issue, you learn from it. It might take time for those lessons to sink in, but they will eventually. Have faith and keep plugging--even when I'm not around to prod you anymore smile

Re: Lesson Five

LA:
In all seriousness, if I had had a teacher like you when I was in school, I would not have these issues today. You make these lessons very interesting and thought provoking. I hope you have another class; I would jump on it in a heartbeat!!
Best regards,
Wyatt

Re: Lesson Five

Thank you Wyatt!

Re: Lesson Five

L A: I have read lesson 5 and I am ready to select a snippet of a scene to re-imagine.

Re: Lesson Five

Can't wait to see it John!