I don't know why
but all I want to do is walk
in the rain forever
while I wait
for a rainbow that never comes...
In the rain I don't have to pretend
that I am okay,
or smile to a friend,
I can hide it.
In the rain no one can see the tears
or how I am afraid of my fears,
I am sick of having to try
I am so done
This is a battle i have not won,
and most of all i am sick of having to lie
I wish I still had the strength to deny.
All I wanna do is walk in the rain forever,
you know we were never meant to be together
and my friend was meant to move away.
Tears fall free from my eyes,
Now I am done with having to try,
This pain is never ending
I am no longer afraid to cry
as I walk forever in the rain.

sick of pretending

BEFORE...
I am in a haze
in a fog
with a gaze.
My vision is all black and blurry,
Oh, someone please help me!
Someone please hurry!
Why won't this go away
like everyone else says
I can't let this last yet another day!
I NEED my life back
I am sick of this
need to attack.
I just want to shout
to everyone and yell out
THIS IS NOT ME
I AM NOT MYSELF!!
HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE?
Why can't I get a break?
This is not a piece of cake,
I am angry and depressed,
I just can't get a rest.
I want this to be DONE
I can't wait until this is over
I am sick of everyone else needing to cover,
for me...
I am going crazy,
truly I am not this lazy.
I dont know MYSELF anymore
I just want to shut the door
and go back to before.
I am way beyond done
I am THROUGH!!
I am so sick of fighting ME, MYSELF, and I (which is YOU!!!)
Silly girl...
Lauren you need to stop
before you combust,
and 'POP!'
I can't move on
with this still going on.
My faith and my hope is slowly slipping
no one understands
there are no helping hands...
Can't stop the fog
so very thick
I can't get out!
There is NOTHING I want MORE than to
go back to BEFORE.
when I was my happy self..
The real me!
When nothing was in my way,
if only...
I could go back to that day,
I wish
I could go back to...
...BEFORE...